So we're heading off to Vegas for 4 days on Saturday. I've been once before, summer of 2004. It wasn't pretty. I was gianormous pregnant and it was 114°. I cried, twice. Once outside the Venetian, once inside the MGM Grand (where I also proclaimed loudly "I HATE this place").
I'm hoping for a better time this time. BIL and SIL are going to renew their wedding vows (this was suppose to be their wedding). This is the couple that had to do the quicky, lunchtime wedding . It should be nice.
We're staying at the Luxor. Hoping to spend most of our time site seeing and at the pool (if anything, I'm a penny slot kindof gal, as in 1 penny at a time....So not a big roller!).
Not knowing a whole bunch about Vegas, I'm looking to you all to point me the direction of some great free/low cost sites and activities!!
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
"Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
I did just that. In 2003, I ramped up my D care in preparation for my pregnancy with A. I started testing close to 20x a day. Alarms going off every hour or 2 reminding me to test. Meticulous carb counting, complex excel charts, weekly endo emails. No winging it, no guesstimates. I was going to be between 80 and 120 if it killed me. It was intense to say the least and it lasted for almost 18 months (9 months pre-pregnancy, 9 months pregnant). And then I came to the end (the second end - don't even ask about the 1st end - failed induction, OB sending me home from the hospital, telling me we'll try again in a week. "Try again....IN A WEEK!!!!" GOING BACK TO WORK AFTER STARTING MY MATERNITY LEAVE - no I'm not bitter.....)
Anyway, so I came to the end. A was born by scehduled C-section on Nov 2 and I stopped. I stopped testing, I stopped carb counting, I started guestimated EVERYTHING, and it showed. A1c went from 5's where I had been through most of my preg to over 8.
I'm back at the beginning again. Alarms have all been reprogrammed. Fingers look like little minefields. I've got a new, shiney excel sheet (thank you Kevin!) and I'm falling back into my regime, almost as if I had never left.
I spent Friday emailing my endo and we've laid out a plan.
Everything's falling into place. I just hope that when I come the the end this time, I don't stop.
Anyway, so I came to the end. A was born by scehduled C-section on Nov 2 and I stopped. I stopped testing, I stopped carb counting, I started guestimated EVERYTHING, and it showed. A1c went from 5's where I had been through most of my preg to over 8.
I'm back at the beginning again. Alarms have all been reprogrammed. Fingers look like little minefields. I've got a new, shiney excel sheet (thank you Kevin!) and I'm falling back into my regime, almost as if I had never left.
I spent Friday emailing my endo and we've laid out a plan.
Everything's falling into place. I just hope that when I come the the end this time, I don't stop.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Unwanted Guests
We have unwanted, invisible, guests at our house. I sure didn't invite them in. I checked with DH and he sure as hell didn't invite them in, either. That leaves 1.) the cats, who with the recent heat, don't have the strength or motivation to move, never mind invite guests over or 2.) A, our full-fledged "terrible two-er". We're leaning towards A.
A LOVES our new guests, Mrs. "No" and Mr. "Go Away", infact she calls for them MULTIPLE times a day, far surpassing all other names she knows. Mrs. "No" is a near and dear friend and apparently she has gone missing. A calls for Mrs. "No" at least a squabillion times a day, maybe even squabillion +1. There is no other explanation, as my sweet, loving, COMPLIANT daughter could not possibly be sayng "no" to me.
Mr. "Go Away", now he must know the secret location of Mrs. "No", as A talks to him much less. Usually he just gets squeezed between her plaintive cries for Mrs. "No".
DH and I have reserved plane tickets for Mrs. "Yes" and Mr. "Right away, oh loving parents". Such a nice couple. We're hopeful that A will take a liking to them, too.
A LOVES our new guests, Mrs. "No" and Mr. "Go Away", infact she calls for them MULTIPLE times a day, far surpassing all other names she knows. Mrs. "No" is a near and dear friend and apparently she has gone missing. A calls for Mrs. "No" at least a squabillion times a day, maybe even squabillion +1. There is no other explanation, as my sweet, loving, COMPLIANT daughter could not possibly be sayng "no" to me.
Mr. "Go Away", now he must know the secret location of Mrs. "No", as A talks to him much less. Usually he just gets squeezed between her plaintive cries for Mrs. "No".
DH and I have reserved plane tickets for Mrs. "Yes" and Mr. "Right away, oh loving parents". Such a nice couple. We're hopeful that A will take a liking to them, too.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Spring Cleaning
Better late then never, right??
Our house is a mess. More then a mess, its a disaster, a bio-hazard zone. Seriously if I ever walked into someone's house that looked like ours, I'd gag. And I LIVE IN THIS EVERYDAY!
I had grand hopes for my vacation. I was going to scrub the house from top to bottom. The place was going to sparkle like the Hope diamond. What really happened...I started with the windows. They needed to be introduced to Windex. I'm not sure if they had ever previously met or not, I'm guessing no. Things were going well. I had a small army of dirty papertowels littering the kitchen floor, beautiful sunshine actually dancing in my kitchen...Then I.Broke.A.Freakin.Window!!! End of cleaning, thank's folks, show's all done, might as well go home cause the curtains are closing. I tipped the window in to clean the outside and the whole thing fell out. I tried shoving it back in, but somehow the tracks it rides on got all squirrely. One was a good 3 or 4 inches higher then the other. Some swearing and jamming on my part and the window was back in, albeiet functionless. Wouldn't move up, wouldn't move down, perpectually stuck 2 inches open. Dad had to come fix it.
What does this have to do with anything....
Well, I've realized a few things:
1). The state of the house is having a DIRECT effect on my depression, as in its directing my mood right down the crapper (which by the way, surprisingly is probably the only clean thing in the house).
2) Its also having a direct effect on our finances. We eat out WAY too much. Why do we eat out? Because the kitchen is such a cluttered mess that I get too depressed to even think about cooking in there. I see it and instantly give up. Why cook? I'd have to clean before I even started, then just have to clean again afterwards.
3). Its affecting my relationship with DH and A. I'm depressed and moody and I don't like being depressed and moody. When I am, I just want to withdraw from everyone, have them all leave me alone. Doesn't put me in a nice nuturing place.
So I've made myself a plan. 4 bursts of 15minutes. One before work, one before I start supper, after supper and before bed. 15 minutes and only 15 minutes. I can do 15 minutes. I'm starting with a trash bag and a "fling it" attitude. I'm good at flinging things, maybe too good, but it needs to happen. We've got too much shit and the shit is KILLING me.
I've been reading up on decluttering (I'll admit, I'm a lost fly-baby) and this caught my attention: (Copied from Ariane Benefit, Neat Living
Here are 10 ways excessive clutter can affect you and your life:
1. Family
* Clutter causes irritability, resentment and stress that leads to temper tantrums, outbursts, and overall disharmony (especially, if people are having to deal with "other people's clutter". You may start to feel like you aren't a good parent or aren't a good example for your kids
* Excessive clutter can cause depression, acting out, bad behavior in children due to their inability to focus caused by the clutter
2. Relationships
* Causes conflicts often due to chronic lateness
* Can keep you from socializing because you don't have the energy or can't find clothes to go out. Keeps you from getting close to people because you don't entertain or want to have people visit you in your home
3. Loss of Self-Esteem
* Causes you to feel like you aren't capable or are missing some basic skill that everyone else "seems" to have so you feel bad about yourself - the truth is you are not alone, many people have issues dealing with clutter
4. Emotionally
* Excessive clutter often cause feelings of shame, guilt, anger and embarrassment that holds you back.
* Clutter drains your energy - and you don't realize it till it's gone. Every item in your home has an energy to it. When items go a long time unused, unloved and uncared for, they become stuck, stagnant energy that actually physically drains you of your energy.
5. Physical Health & Stress
* The stress caused by clutter is enormous. Every time you can't find something, or an argument flares up with a loved one, or you can't relax because you worry about all the things you need to do, but can't till you get the clutter cleared, your stress levels increase. Stress in turn, lowers your immunity and resistance and so you may have frequent, persistent colds.
* Clutter can make it more difficult to eat healthy, cause headaches, fatigue, sinus problems and allergies and more.
6. Mental Health
* Clutter decreases your ability to enjoy life. It causes stress, confusion, inability to focus, and often leads to depression. Sometimes clutter is initially caused by depression, but clutter also makes it nearly impossible to recover from depression. In my experience, once people start releasing their clutter, their energy comes back and the depression gets better, sometimes it goes away for good. Some people are extremely sensitive to their environments and just never realized what a difference it could make.
* Even in people who don't have ADD, clutter causes ADD like symptoms.
7. Safety & Hygiene
* In extreme clutter, people have a hard time walking without tripping or bumping into things. Often there are things hidden in the clutter that are very unsafe for children. I've seen some cases where a young child is pretty much confined to a playpen all the time because it just isn't safe to be out of the playpen.
* Inability to clean cluttered areas can lead to extreme dust and even mold and mildew that exacerbates and even causes health problems in yourself and your children
8. Time
* Simply having too much stuff eats up your time like crazy. Every thing you own requires some amount of care and organization. If you have too much stuff, it's much more difficult, time consuming, and expensive to get organized.
* Having too much stuff often leads to procrastination and lateness which wastes your and other people's time and causes a whole host of other problems.
* Not being able to find things is a huge time cost of clutter. For some people it wastes several hours every day.
9. Your Future
* Holding on to clutter often grounds you in the past at the cost of your present life and your future.
* Clutter distracts you from being able to think about your goals, projects, hobbies and get things done
10. Financial
* Things have to have homes. Whether the home you provide for things is an extra room, a piece of furniture, or a container, you continue to pay for things long after you initially acquire them. Clutter directly costs money in the following ways:
o Late fees for bills paid late
o Credit card debt - often for unused stuff
o Duplicates purchased because you can't find things
o Some people move to larger home to accomodate the stuff
o Renting storage facilities
* Clutter drains your energy - and you don't realize it till it's gone. Every item in your home has an energy to it. When items go a long time unused, unloved and uncared for, they become stuck, stagnant energy that actually physically drains you of your energy. This one speaks to me the most. I think it will be my mantra for now.
Wish me luck, dear friends, cause I'm going in and I'm not coming out till its done!
--
Posted by floreksa to floreksa_general at 7/17/2006 11:48:04 AM
Our house is a mess. More then a mess, its a disaster, a bio-hazard zone. Seriously if I ever walked into someone's house that looked like ours, I'd gag. And I LIVE IN THIS EVERYDAY!
I had grand hopes for my vacation. I was going to scrub the house from top to bottom. The place was going to sparkle like the Hope diamond. What really happened...I started with the windows. They needed to be introduced to Windex. I'm not sure if they had ever previously met or not, I'm guessing no. Things were going well. I had a small army of dirty papertowels littering the kitchen floor, beautiful sunshine actually dancing in my kitchen...Then I.Broke.A.Freakin.Window!!! End of cleaning, thank's folks, show's all done, might as well go home cause the curtains are closing. I tipped the window in to clean the outside and the whole thing fell out. I tried shoving it back in, but somehow the tracks it rides on got all squirrely. One was a good 3 or 4 inches higher then the other. Some swearing and jamming on my part and the window was back in, albeiet functionless. Wouldn't move up, wouldn't move down, perpectually stuck 2 inches open. Dad had to come fix it.
What does this have to do with anything....
Well, I've realized a few things:
1). The state of the house is having a DIRECT effect on my depression, as in its directing my mood right down the crapper (which by the way, surprisingly is probably the only clean thing in the house).
2) Its also having a direct effect on our finances. We eat out WAY too much. Why do we eat out? Because the kitchen is such a cluttered mess that I get too depressed to even think about cooking in there. I see it and instantly give up. Why cook? I'd have to clean before I even started, then just have to clean again afterwards.
3). Its affecting my relationship with DH and A. I'm depressed and moody and I don't like being depressed and moody. When I am, I just want to withdraw from everyone, have them all leave me alone. Doesn't put me in a nice nuturing place.
So I've made myself a plan. 4 bursts of 15minutes. One before work, one before I start supper, after supper and before bed. 15 minutes and only 15 minutes. I can do 15 minutes. I'm starting with a trash bag and a "fling it" attitude. I'm good at flinging things, maybe too good, but it needs to happen. We've got too much shit and the shit is KILLING me.
I've been reading up on decluttering (I'll admit, I'm a lost fly-baby) and this caught my attention: (Copied from Ariane Benefit, Neat Living
Here are 10 ways excessive clutter can affect you and your life:
1. Family
* Clutter causes irritability, resentment and stress that leads to temper tantrums, outbursts, and overall disharmony (especially, if people are having to deal with "other people's clutter". You may start to feel like you aren't a good parent or aren't a good example for your kids
* Excessive clutter can cause depression, acting out, bad behavior in children due to their inability to focus caused by the clutter
2. Relationships
* Causes conflicts often due to chronic lateness
* Can keep you from socializing because you don't have the energy or can't find clothes to go out. Keeps you from getting close to people because you don't entertain or want to have people visit you in your home
3. Loss of Self-Esteem
* Causes you to feel like you aren't capable or are missing some basic skill that everyone else "seems" to have so you feel bad about yourself - the truth is you are not alone, many people have issues dealing with clutter
4. Emotionally
* Excessive clutter often cause feelings of shame, guilt, anger and embarrassment that holds you back.
* Clutter drains your energy - and you don't realize it till it's gone. Every item in your home has an energy to it. When items go a long time unused, unloved and uncared for, they become stuck, stagnant energy that actually physically drains you of your energy.
5. Physical Health & Stress
* The stress caused by clutter is enormous. Every time you can't find something, or an argument flares up with a loved one, or you can't relax because you worry about all the things you need to do, but can't till you get the clutter cleared, your stress levels increase. Stress in turn, lowers your immunity and resistance and so you may have frequent, persistent colds.
* Clutter can make it more difficult to eat healthy, cause headaches, fatigue, sinus problems and allergies and more.
6. Mental Health
* Clutter decreases your ability to enjoy life. It causes stress, confusion, inability to focus, and often leads to depression. Sometimes clutter is initially caused by depression, but clutter also makes it nearly impossible to recover from depression. In my experience, once people start releasing their clutter, their energy comes back and the depression gets better, sometimes it goes away for good. Some people are extremely sensitive to their environments and just never realized what a difference it could make.
* Even in people who don't have ADD, clutter causes ADD like symptoms.
7. Safety & Hygiene
* In extreme clutter, people have a hard time walking without tripping or bumping into things. Often there are things hidden in the clutter that are very unsafe for children. I've seen some cases where a young child is pretty much confined to a playpen all the time because it just isn't safe to be out of the playpen.
* Inability to clean cluttered areas can lead to extreme dust and even mold and mildew that exacerbates and even causes health problems in yourself and your children
8. Time
* Simply having too much stuff eats up your time like crazy. Every thing you own requires some amount of care and organization. If you have too much stuff, it's much more difficult, time consuming, and expensive to get organized.
* Having too much stuff often leads to procrastination and lateness which wastes your and other people's time and causes a whole host of other problems.
* Not being able to find things is a huge time cost of clutter. For some people it wastes several hours every day.
9. Your Future
* Holding on to clutter often grounds you in the past at the cost of your present life and your future.
* Clutter distracts you from being able to think about your goals, projects, hobbies and get things done
10. Financial
* Things have to have homes. Whether the home you provide for things is an extra room, a piece of furniture, or a container, you continue to pay for things long after you initially acquire them. Clutter directly costs money in the following ways:
o Late fees for bills paid late
o Credit card debt - often for unused stuff
o Duplicates purchased because you can't find things
o Some people move to larger home to accomodate the stuff
o Renting storage facilities
* Clutter drains your energy - and you don't realize it till it's gone. Every item in your home has an energy to it. When items go a long time unused, unloved and uncared for, they become stuck, stagnant energy that actually physically drains you of your energy. This one speaks to me the most. I think it will be my mantra for now.
Wish me luck, dear friends, cause I'm going in and I'm not coming out till its done!
--
Posted by floreksa to floreksa_general at 7/17/2006 11:48:04 AM
Friday, July 14, 2006
I must be insane
I've decided that I'm ready for #2. Yup, just this morning, no input from DH (oh, hey, if you're reading honey, "I'm ready for #2"!).
So you say (as long as your not my DH, who's probably saying something more along the lines of "huh?, who?, what? HUH?")..."Hey Sarah, that's great!, So your bgs must be running great, you've gotten back down to your old pre-preg weight?" and there-in lies the problem...That would be big, fat, honkin NO and NO.
This presents a problem, cause I'm talking, I'm ready NOW, not 6 months from now, but now, as in N-O-W, NOW!
I had wanted A and mystery child #2 to be about 18 months apart. That plan was blown out of the water by a nasty little thing known as PPD. I'm better now, though and either high on life, or brain-damaged enough to want to risk going through that again.
That and colic. There's a part of my brain that remembers colic, remembers it being horrible, wanting to run, screaming from the house each night as the clock struck 5pm. There's the rest of my brain, though, that looks at all the little clothes, the baby shows, the way newborns look like turkeys with their legs perpetually tucked under them and I AM SO READY FOR A TURKEY again!
So you say (as long as your not my DH, who's probably saying something more along the lines of "huh?, who?, what? HUH?")..."Hey Sarah, that's great!, So your bgs must be running great, you've gotten back down to your old pre-preg weight?" and there-in lies the problem...That would be big, fat, honkin NO and NO.
This presents a problem, cause I'm talking, I'm ready NOW, not 6 months from now, but now, as in N-O-W, NOW!
I had wanted A and mystery child #2 to be about 18 months apart. That plan was blown out of the water by a nasty little thing known as PPD. I'm better now, though and either high on life, or brain-damaged enough to want to risk going through that again.
That and colic. There's a part of my brain that remembers colic, remembers it being horrible, wanting to run, screaming from the house each night as the clock struck 5pm. There's the rest of my brain, though, that looks at all the little clothes, the baby shows, the way newborns look like turkeys with their legs perpetually tucked under them and I AM SO READY FOR A TURKEY again!
Sunday, July 09, 2006
BTDT lesson of the day.....
Don't take a 20 month old to the Drive-In. Its not pretty.
It actually wasn't that bad, although DH would probably differ with me on that one. We took her, because 1) We wouldn't be getting home until probably around 1am, 2) we couldn't get anyone to watch her till 1am and 3) We figured she'd sleep the entire time.
So we were very, very wrong on #3. Got into Northfield about 7:30pm - A's bedtime(1st movie Cars was suppose to start at 8:35 pm) and promptly stopped in the longest line of cars I've ever seen. I was concerned before we left that we wouldn't be able to get in, but when I saw that line, hopes GONE. 4 trips into the backseat to retrieve a lost pacifier (finally found in.her.lap) and 1 hour, 25 minutes later we find ourselves 6 cars from the entrance...That's when the cop showed up, pulled in, pulled out, drove a few cars past us and proceeded to loud-speaker to the traffic jam that the Drive-In was at capacity. Thankfully, we were lucky enough to get in, along with about 5 or 10 cars behind us. Got a wonderful backrow parking space with a very odd angle, but could see the screen so all wasn't lost.
Unfortunately, plan A of our trip was already out the window, A was WIDE AWAKE!! Out of her car seat and into the front with me. That's when I noticed it was 9pm and the 1st movie STILL hadn't started. I started appeasing my 20 month old with Doritos and Crystal Light (hey, its a special occasion, right?). I'm getting worried though. Cars - approx 2 hours, Pirates of the Carribean - approx 2 hours....9:15pm plus 2 hours, plus 2 hours, plus at least another hour home = WAAAYY past my bedtime. It was also at this point, that A decided she wanted some of my lemonade and grabs it while I was drinking. I'm now DRENCHED in sticky lemonade and the movie hasn't even started. Wonder-f'in-tastic!
Cars starts, A is completely oblivious to it, although is finding great amusment in playing with the volume control in the car. Fine, whatever, she's quiet. 10pm rolls around. She.Needs.To.Go.To.Sleep, but yes, we've lost the pacifier again, and sleep does not happen without it. Another 30 minute search of the car, at least not in traffic, but now in the dark....FOUND IT! In the dorito bag, of course. Strap her in her seat, plug her, hand her every imaginable blanket and she's finally out like a light. Finish watching cars, everything is great.
Onto movie #2 Pirates....A wakes up approx 2 seconds into it. Replug her, tell her its "Nite-nites" and she's falls back asleep. Awake again 10 minutes later, replug, back asleep (repeat 3 or 4 times). She finally wakes, tosses her pacifier and cries. Another 15 minute search of the car, in the dark (how can 1 stupid little thing disappear so quickly, and note to self STASH 100 pacifiers in the car!). Repluging doesn't help, we've missed so much of the movie we're completely lost, and the movie itself really doesn't seem that good, not as light-hearted, much, much darker.
It's 1am, the movie is only 1/2 over, and we're still an hour from home. We throw in the towel. Get home at 2am. We'll catch the rest, on video, in our house, where A's crib is, and the world's largest supply of pacifiers.
It actually wasn't that bad, although DH would probably differ with me on that one. We took her, because 1) We wouldn't be getting home until probably around 1am, 2) we couldn't get anyone to watch her till 1am and 3) We figured she'd sleep the entire time.
So we were very, very wrong on #3. Got into Northfield about 7:30pm - A's bedtime(1st movie Cars was suppose to start at 8:35 pm) and promptly stopped in the longest line of cars I've ever seen. I was concerned before we left that we wouldn't be able to get in, but when I saw that line, hopes GONE. 4 trips into the backseat to retrieve a lost pacifier (finally found in.her.lap) and 1 hour, 25 minutes later we find ourselves 6 cars from the entrance...That's when the cop showed up, pulled in, pulled out, drove a few cars past us and proceeded to loud-speaker to the traffic jam that the Drive-In was at capacity. Thankfully, we were lucky enough to get in, along with about 5 or 10 cars behind us. Got a wonderful backrow parking space with a very odd angle, but could see the screen so all wasn't lost.
Unfortunately, plan A of our trip was already out the window, A was WIDE AWAKE!! Out of her car seat and into the front with me. That's when I noticed it was 9pm and the 1st movie STILL hadn't started. I started appeasing my 20 month old with Doritos and Crystal Light (hey, its a special occasion, right?). I'm getting worried though. Cars - approx 2 hours, Pirates of the Carribean - approx 2 hours....9:15pm plus 2 hours, plus 2 hours, plus at least another hour home = WAAAYY past my bedtime. It was also at this point, that A decided she wanted some of my lemonade and grabs it while I was drinking. I'm now DRENCHED in sticky lemonade and the movie hasn't even started. Wonder-f'in-tastic!
Cars starts, A is completely oblivious to it, although is finding great amusment in playing with the volume control in the car. Fine, whatever, she's quiet. 10pm rolls around. She.Needs.To.Go.To.Sleep, but yes, we've lost the pacifier again, and sleep does not happen without it. Another 30 minute search of the car, at least not in traffic, but now in the dark....FOUND IT! In the dorito bag, of course. Strap her in her seat, plug her, hand her every imaginable blanket and she's finally out like a light. Finish watching cars, everything is great.
Onto movie #2 Pirates....A wakes up approx 2 seconds into it. Replug her, tell her its "Nite-nites" and she's falls back asleep. Awake again 10 minutes later, replug, back asleep (repeat 3 or 4 times). She finally wakes, tosses her pacifier and cries. Another 15 minute search of the car, in the dark (how can 1 stupid little thing disappear so quickly, and note to self STASH 100 pacifiers in the car!). Repluging doesn't help, we've missed so much of the movie we're completely lost, and the movie itself really doesn't seem that good, not as light-hearted, much, much darker.
It's 1am, the movie is only 1/2 over, and we're still an hour from home. We throw in the towel. Get home at 2am. We'll catch the rest, on video, in our house, where A's crib is, and the world's largest supply of pacifiers.
Friday, July 07, 2006
20 Months Old
20 months!! 20 Months!!! Where has the time gone? That's ALL of your fingers AND your toes. You can't be 20 months...Mommy's not ready.

And horror of all horrors, on the day you turned 20 months no less, you learned the dreaded word. The word mommy and daddy prayed you wouldn't learn (well at least until you turned 35 and started dating). You said "No"! And "No!" with flair. You mastered the toddler fleeing in anger, "NoOOOOoooooooOOOOOoooooOOOo!" trailing in the wind. You said it 4 times that day.
You also say "buy u", which took me until yesterday to realize that you were saying "Love you!" (as you can hear).
Mommy's on vacation with you this week and IS NOT HAPPY that she's gotta go back to work. Wonder if I can win the lottery without actually playing the lottery. You're just too cute to leave.

You're stringing 2 words together right now, and let me tell you, Daddy LOVED it when you said "bye dada" last night. You also said "ankin uh-oh" yesterday after Franklin said it on TV. Mommy takes back her hatred of Franklin too. He's growing on me, and you apparently LOVE him. Just please don't decide to fall in love with Oobie. I will have to destroy Daddy's tv if that happens.
I watched your birthday video this morning and cried my eyes out. I can't believe its been almost 2 years now. You've changed sooo much, yet so many of your faces have remained the same since birth.

I love you sooooo much!!
And horror of all horrors, on the day you turned 20 months no less, you learned the dreaded word. The word mommy and daddy prayed you wouldn't learn (well at least until you turned 35 and started dating). You said "No"! And "No!" with flair. You mastered the toddler fleeing in anger, "NoOOOOoooooooOOOOOoooooOOOo!" trailing in the wind. You said it 4 times that day.
You also say "buy u", which took me until yesterday to realize that you were saying "Love you!" (as you can hear).
Mommy's on vacation with you this week and IS NOT HAPPY that she's gotta go back to work. Wonder if I can win the lottery without actually playing the lottery. You're just too cute to leave.
You're stringing 2 words together right now, and let me tell you, Daddy LOVED it when you said "bye dada" last night. You also said "ankin uh-oh" yesterday after Franklin said it on TV. Mommy takes back her hatred of Franklin too. He's growing on me, and you apparently LOVE him. Just please don't decide to fall in love with Oobie. I will have to destroy Daddy's tv if that happens.
I watched your birthday video this morning and cried my eyes out. I can't believe its been almost 2 years now. You've changed sooo much, yet so many of your faces have remained the same since birth.
I love you sooooo much!!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Extended Test
Well I did a 2.5hr extended (not combo) bolus at lunch.
Lunch - 192
2 hrs - 91
4 hours - 141.....better.
Guess we'll just keep playing. On deck for tomorrow at breakfast:
Combo bolus - 35% upfront, rest spread over 3 hrs.
Lunch - 192
2 hrs - 91
4 hours - 141.....better.
Guess we'll just keep playing. On deck for tomorrow at breakfast:
Combo bolus - 35% upfront, rest spread over 3 hrs.
Combination, Extended, Regular - OH MY!
Grrr...
I'm still trying to get a hang of bolusing with Symlin. I can't do a regular bolus, or I crash and burn minutes after eating. So right now, I'm experimenting with combo/extended boluses. This morning I thought I had it figured beautifully. Had a D&D bagel with cream cheese. Bolused for 80 grams, 45% upfront, rest spread over 2:15minutes.
Ate at 8am - bg 116
2 hours late - bg 89 (SWEET)
2 hours after that (pre-lunch) - bg 192 - WHAT THE F!!!! Nothing to eat, only had black coffe to drink - iced medium, which took me the entire 4 hours to drink.
And one stupid little test has sent my mood into the shitter. I hate this! There's no reason for 192...None! Site's new, insulin is fresh...Only thing I can think of is I went lower (without symptoms) and am now paying for my perfectly healthy, overly compensating liver dump of glucose.
Grrr.....
Soooo, now what? Do I assume that I'm acutally getting the combo bolus somewhat figured out with the Symlin, that the 192 is a fluke (I've experienced similar highs 4 hours post meal after Symlin). Do I extend the rest even further?
For lunch, I skipped the combo, went straight for an extended over 4 hours. We'll see.
Oh, and for you Cozmo users - Is there a way in the history to see the details of a Combo/Extended bolus. I see in the history my bolus, but not the % now/later/time.
I'm still trying to get a hang of bolusing with Symlin. I can't do a regular bolus, or I crash and burn minutes after eating. So right now, I'm experimenting with combo/extended boluses. This morning I thought I had it figured beautifully. Had a D&D bagel with cream cheese. Bolused for 80 grams, 45% upfront, rest spread over 2:15minutes.
Ate at 8am - bg 116
2 hours late - bg 89 (SWEET)
2 hours after that (pre-lunch) - bg 192 - WHAT THE F!!!! Nothing to eat, only had black coffe to drink - iced medium, which took me the entire 4 hours to drink.
And one stupid little test has sent my mood into the shitter. I hate this! There's no reason for 192...None! Site's new, insulin is fresh...Only thing I can think of is I went lower (without symptoms) and am now paying for my perfectly healthy, overly compensating liver dump of glucose.
Grrr.....
Soooo, now what? Do I assume that I'm acutally getting the combo bolus somewhat figured out with the Symlin, that the 192 is a fluke (I've experienced similar highs 4 hours post meal after Symlin). Do I extend the rest even further?
For lunch, I skipped the combo, went straight for an extended over 4 hours. We'll see.
Oh, and for you Cozmo users - Is there a way in the history to see the details of a Combo/Extended bolus. I see in the history my bolus, but not the % now/later/time.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Word Verification
Am I the only one who would seriously flunk life, if it was based on the ability to type in the word verification correctly? If I had to grade myself, I'd be probably at 60%. Its ridiculous!
Monday, June 19, 2006
Anniversary Meme
Stolen from Kassie
For me it will be 13 years in September and is not at all as impressive as hers!
1.) Meet the man of my dreams 8 months after diagnosis and didn't scare him away with my D!
2.) Stood up to the High School nurse who INSISTED that I could not possibly walk the halls of high school with needles and insulin on me, despite that fact that she was NEVER around at lunch for my test/shot.
3.) Attend a band trip to Disney World, less then 8 months after dx, without my parents for over a week and didn't freak any teachers or friends out.
4.) Continued swimming competitively until I dislocated my knee at the beginning of my senior yr season.
5.) Attended MA Girl's State, a 1 week "prestige" (ha! I H-A-T-E-D it!) stay at Mount Holyoke College to High School girls who are, I guess, Civic Leaders....less then a yr after dx.
6.) Graduated High School 3rd in my class.
7.)Graduated UMASS-Amherst with an Econ degree while working at least 2 jobs (for a couple weeks, I actually juggled 4 jobs at once!).
8.) Got my current job being naive and honest about my diabetes during the interview.
9.) Bought my house and my 1st pump at the same time and moved into said house the same week as my pump training!
10.) Got married to that wonderful man who wasn't scared off by my D :) - only took us 8 yrs.
11.) Got pregnant
12.) Went on vacation while pregnant and then switched pumps.
13.) Had a wonderfully, amazing little girl and am ready for the next!
For me it will be 13 years in September and is not at all as impressive as hers!
1.) Meet the man of my dreams 8 months after diagnosis and didn't scare him away with my D!
2.) Stood up to the High School nurse who INSISTED that I could not possibly walk the halls of high school with needles and insulin on me, despite that fact that she was NEVER around at lunch for my test/shot.
3.) Attend a band trip to Disney World, less then 8 months after dx, without my parents for over a week and didn't freak any teachers or friends out.
4.) Continued swimming competitively until I dislocated my knee at the beginning of my senior yr season.
5.) Attended MA Girl's State, a 1 week "prestige" (ha! I H-A-T-E-D it!) stay at Mount Holyoke College to High School girls who are, I guess, Civic Leaders....less then a yr after dx.
6.) Graduated High School 3rd in my class.
7.)Graduated UMASS-Amherst with an Econ degree while working at least 2 jobs (for a couple weeks, I actually juggled 4 jobs at once!).
8.) Got my current job being naive and honest about my diabetes during the interview.
9.) Bought my house and my 1st pump at the same time and moved into said house the same week as my pump training!
10.) Got married to that wonderful man who wasn't scared off by my D :) - only took us 8 yrs.
11.) Got pregnant
12.) Went on vacation while pregnant and then switched pumps.
13.) Had a wonderfully, amazing little girl and am ready for the next!
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Ranty Kindof Day
Ok, no idea why I'm thinking of this, but I HATE, H.A.T.E. the stupid Foxwood's Casino commericals. I hate the jingle, I hate how clean and SMOKE FREE the place looks. What a freaking crock. Even the smoke free area, tucked away in a back corner in a janitor's closet is full of people smoking and THEY DO NOTHING ABOUT IT!! And lets talk about the people in the commerical. All young and pretty and dressed to the hilt. HA! Let's get real here.
Don't get me started on the United Bank "Personal Banker" commericals either. If that annoying lady says one more time "A Personal Banker means just that, we Personalize your banking experience" I will in fact be forced to drive to all of the United Banks, find her and throttle her. Wait, WHAT? Did you just define a phrase using the 2 damn words IN the phrase? In what holy world is that ok? We couldn't waste another 20 seconds of film, hand the moronic lady (a lady who is moronic) a damn dictionary and tell her to try again?
Ugh.
Don't get me started on the United Bank "Personal Banker" commericals either. If that annoying lady says one more time "A Personal Banker means just that, we Personalize your banking experience" I will in fact be forced to drive to all of the United Banks, find her and throttle her. Wait, WHAT? Did you just define a phrase using the 2 damn words IN the phrase? In what holy world is that ok? We couldn't waste another 20 seconds of film, hand the moronic lady (a lady who is moronic) a damn dictionary and tell her to try again?
Ugh.
Some Days I Wonder.....
So I've got the mother of all headaches right now. One of those "my head is going to split open and unleash demons upon the earth" kinds. So I pop some Excedrin Migrain and decide to buy myself a coffee on the way to work for that extra caffeine kick.
Go in.
"I'll have a large, iced carmel, cream only - dark."
"What size?" (as if all I had said was "coffee, me"
"Large?!"
"Cream or sugar" (ok, WTF, am I talking to myself??!!)
"Cream - dark" (irritation creaping into my voice)
What did I get? A large, REGULAR iced coffee, so freaking light I don't even think you can call it coffee. I think she waved the coffee over the top of the cup.
Its gonna be a BAAAA-aaad day.
Go in.
"I'll have a large, iced carmel, cream only - dark."
"What size?" (as if all I had said was "coffee, me"
"Large?!"
"Cream or sugar" (ok, WTF, am I talking to myself??!!)
"Cream - dark" (irritation creaping into my voice)
What did I get? A large, REGULAR iced coffee, so freaking light I don't even think you can call it coffee. I think she waved the coffee over the top of the cup.
Its gonna be a BAAAA-aaad day.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Just trying to stay dry......
YEEE-IKES!
Co-Worker went to open an umbrella to go to our other building. My sister (sits at the front desk), saw it immediately and ran for her life. Co-Worker wasn't too fond of it either.
19 Months
Mommy's late again, but I have my reasons.
You turned 19 months on Friday. You still constantly amaze me. On Thursday while I was sitting in the livingroom, you suddenly disappeared and got real quiet. I found you in the kitchen looking like Big Lou behind the bar, ready to start happy hour.
You had pulled out one of the chairs at the table, grabbed a bottle of water and a plastic cup and you were as content as a clam pouring yourself shots of water and gulping them down. I would've grabbed the camera if I wasn't hyperventalating over you being so grown up!

Then of course, there's your recent addiction to FlavorIce. Not that I can blame you, I'm a bit of a FlavorIce connieseur too. You are very adament, though that you have you very own. No sharing for you! No, no, no!!
You can now say your name "A-yee", Auntie "Ah-eee", Jeff "Jefffffffffs", Nicky "Ne-ee", ball "ballll" and so many others. You try to sing your ABC's "e,e,e,e,e" and Baa-Baa, Black Sheep "Baa, baa, baa, baa, baa,baa, yesch, yesch, yesch"...
Your hair...Can we talk about your hair?

It is soo funny. It will start the day out a frizzy, rats nest of a doo, but with the humidity lately, it ends up in the worlds most perfect head of ringlets.
I saw a picture of your daddy this weekend when he was probably 3 yrs old. YOU ARE ALL HIM!! There is not 1 piece of mommy in you. If I didn't have the scar proving..... It was amazing. I was missing you so much while I was in VT and then there was this picture. If it wasn't for the 1970's fading and boys cloths, I would've bet hard earned money that that was you in the picture. Right.down.to.the.smile. I NEED a copy of that picture.
Each month I wonder how you could possibly get any cuter, or how I could possibly love you any more then I already do. This month was no different. I don't know if I could pick a favorite age. Right now though, is definitely one of the best!
You turned 19 months on Friday. You still constantly amaze me. On Thursday while I was sitting in the livingroom, you suddenly disappeared and got real quiet. I found you in the kitchen looking like Big Lou behind the bar, ready to start happy hour.
You had pulled out one of the chairs at the table, grabbed a bottle of water and a plastic cup and you were as content as a clam pouring yourself shots of water and gulping them down. I would've grabbed the camera if I wasn't hyperventalating over you being so grown up!
Then of course, there's your recent addiction to FlavorIce. Not that I can blame you, I'm a bit of a FlavorIce connieseur too. You are very adament, though that you have you very own. No sharing for you! No, no, no!!
You can now say your name "A-yee", Auntie "Ah-eee", Jeff "Jefffffffffs", Nicky "Ne-ee", ball "ballll" and so many others. You try to sing your ABC's "e,e,e,e,e" and Baa-Baa, Black Sheep "Baa, baa, baa, baa, baa,baa, yesch, yesch, yesch"...
Your hair...Can we talk about your hair?
It is soo funny. It will start the day out a frizzy, rats nest of a doo, but with the humidity lately, it ends up in the worlds most perfect head of ringlets.
I saw a picture of your daddy this weekend when he was probably 3 yrs old. YOU ARE ALL HIM!! There is not 1 piece of mommy in you. If I didn't have the scar proving..... It was amazing. I was missing you so much while I was in VT and then there was this picture. If it wasn't for the 1970's fading and boys cloths, I would've bet hard earned money that that was you in the picture. Right.down.to.the.smile. I NEED a copy of that picture.
Each month I wonder how you could possibly get any cuter, or how I could possibly love you any more then I already do. This month was no different. I don't know if I could pick a favorite age. Right now though, is definitely one of the best!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Time heals what reason cannot.
First off, sorry for going so long between posts. My heart just hasn't been in it.
DH's cousin died during the early morning hours of June 1st. She was only 35. We traveled to Northern VT this weekend for the services. She was so young and she had 3 kids (16, 14, and 7) that she was raising alone. Those poor kids are all up in the air right now. The youngest 2's father has taken them all in and is in the process of becoming the oldest's legal guardian.
Its been a long weekend. Didn't help that by Sunday I was missing Ally A LOT. By Monday, I was literally frantic wanting to get back home to her. Of course then I felt overwhelming guilt that here I was wanting to leave family that had lost their daughter/mother/sister because I couldn't go 48 hours without seeing mine.
DH's cousin died during the early morning hours of June 1st. She was only 35. We traveled to Northern VT this weekend for the services. She was so young and she had 3 kids (16, 14, and 7) that she was raising alone. Those poor kids are all up in the air right now. The youngest 2's father has taken them all in and is in the process of becoming the oldest's legal guardian.
Its been a long weekend. Didn't help that by Sunday I was missing Ally A LOT. By Monday, I was literally frantic wanting to get back home to her. Of course then I felt overwhelming guilt that here I was wanting to leave family that had lost their daughter/mother/sister because I couldn't go 48 hours without seeing mine.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
It's ONLY Tuesday???!!
So I don't know what was up with me yesterday, but I was in the most pissed off, rip-roaring HORRIBLE mood. I was tired, I was cranky, I hated the world.
It wasn't pretty, and I started wondering if I really was over my PPD. I had stopped taking my "happy pills" (Lexapro) back in March. I've been well since then, until yesterday.
It was all day that I was bad. Started with me coming very, very close to hysterical crying watching footage of that poor race horse. Then I was soo apathetic all day at work.
Last night was the winner though. Got home and had no desire to cook the chicken breasts we had taken out for supper. I wanted ANYTHING but chicken breast, or more matter of fact, I wanted anything I didn't have to cook. So what did I do, sat on the couch and waited for DH to get home, then proceed to pout and be bitchy.
I decided that a DQ Brownie Blast an apple, would help my mood. Went and looked online, 600 calories in a small DQ Brownie Blast an apple!!!!! Are you shitting me? F' it! I don't care, I need chocolate an apple. SWCAL and I split 1/2 a small. The rest is waiting in the freezer.
And yes, I felt better afterwards.
Today, I'm feeling better. So much so, I'm setting my Lary Bird goal. Tonight, I've got a hot date with a cool treadmill.
It wasn't pretty, and I started wondering if I really was over my PPD. I had stopped taking my "happy pills" (Lexapro) back in March. I've been well since then, until yesterday.
It was all day that I was bad. Started with me coming very, very close to hysterical crying watching footage of that poor race horse. Then I was soo apathetic all day at work.
Last night was the winner though. Got home and had no desire to cook the chicken breasts we had taken out for supper. I wanted ANYTHING but chicken breast, or more matter of fact, I wanted anything I didn't have to cook. So what did I do, sat on the couch and waited for DH to get home, then proceed to pout and be bitchy.
I decided that a DQ Brownie Blast an apple, would help my mood. Went and looked online, 600 calories in a small DQ Brownie Blast an apple!!!!! Are you shitting me? F' it! I don't care, I need chocolate an apple. SWCAL and I split 1/2 a small. The rest is waiting in the freezer.
And yes, I felt better afterwards.
Today, I'm feeling better. So much so, I'm setting my Lary Bird goal. Tonight, I've got a hot date with a cool treadmill.
Monday, May 22, 2006
How quickly things change

Yesterday started out like any other Sunday. Actually better then most Sundays. I got up, got SWCAL up and dressed and headed to my moms. She was making crepes and then my mom, my sister, SWCAL and I were going to head off to our camp to clean it and get it all set for the long weekend.
We had just finished breakfast and were loading the truck with the freshly laundered linens when I heard the stupid Cozmo jingle. It had been doing that recently. Playing the jingle "dun,dun,dun, dunde, dun dun" for no apparent reason. No codes on the screen, no visible sign of anything wrong.
Next thing I know, I've got the most blood curling, annoying alarm going off on my pump, and a screen that just says "Call for Service". Usher SWCAL out of the room I'm in, shut the door and let the profanity fly. It was amazing how quickly my mood went from light and cheery, D being the last thing on my mind, to full fledged pissed off. Pissed off at D, pissed off that I may not be able to go with them to the camp. Pissed off that I have to rely on some stupid machine just to LIVE. I went to a very bad, very dark, D place quickly and the speed at which I got there scared me.
Better get on the phone with Deltec (at this point the screen was blank, but alarm still piercing away). "Oh, great, Sure I'll wait for a clinician to call me back...", more swearing. Give the answering service my mom's number and my cell phone since I've decided that I don't care if I'm half dead and at 600 this afternoon, I'm GOING WITH THEM GOD DAMMIT!! THIS DISEASE IS NOT HOLDING ME BACK AGAIN!
Slowly, though, I start thinking rationally....WAIT!! I've got that cool, new aDorn pocketbook. I've got insulin on me! And since I'm now on Symlin, I've got syringes too! Just maybe I can actually do this without spending the day feeling like death!!! And for shits and giggles, what happens if I remove the battery and put it back in (at the very least it'll make this stupid alarm stop)....Remove/replace battery and WHAMO! everything's working again! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?? Can I be this lucky?
Clinician calls me back...She sounds like she doesn't have a clue, but tells me that the alarm I experienced (100) sometimes just happens during a big bolus (I had bolused 11units - which is actually pretty normal for me - again with the stupid IR). She said it's usually a 1 time deal, but if it did happen again, to call them back and they'll send out a new one.
I got to thinking then....Um, I bought a new holder on Sat. A really cute pink one to match my pink Red Sox hat I so desperately want. Designed for cell phones, but it fit PERFECTLY. The flap though, closes with a magnet. I'm wondering if that's the culprit. Haven't had any alarms since I stopped using the holder, no more jingles either (learned the jingle is the pump running a self-test).
Guess I'm back to my boring black, plastic clip.
pic is just for color purposes. Couldn't find the actual case I had bought.
Friday, May 19, 2006
ya, I need help
Ok, just re-read my post....I guess my intelligence has also been swept away by the rain (never-ending tedium has a way of doing that!).
"biannual" - ya, um, no....I don't go 2x a yr. I haven't gone in 2 yrs. LOL
"ad nauseom".....geez girl, spell check. Use it, love it!
"biannual" - ya, um, no....I don't go 2x a yr. I haven't gone in 2 yrs. LOL
"ad nauseom".....geez girl, spell check. Use it, love it!
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