Interview Meme

Curtesy Kassie

1) You have $1000 for a 1 hour shopping spree. Where would you go, and what would you buy?
Hmmmmm, $1,000. Well, 1 - I'm an Old Navy junkie for SWCAL, so I'd be there 1st. Ok, that would account for about $100. Then, right now, probably Home Depot or Lowes. I LOVE interior decorating and am DYING to either put hardwood in our tiny livingroom, or tile in our kitchen. We also need a walkway from the drive to the side door. I'm such a practical gal!

2) How would you describe a low in 10 words or less?
Shaky, ravenous, sweaty, moody, sinking feeling in my legs

3) Where would you most like to visit? Definitely Australia. Wanted to go on our honeymoon, but didn't have enough time off (went to Alaska instead). After that, I'd LOVE to cruise the Greek Islands and visit England.

4) If you had 2 uninterrupted minutes to speak with the President, what would you say? I have no idea. I'd probably get too flustered to even start, but I'd want to grill him on stem cell research.

5) You're in charge at Ben & Jerry's for the day: what flavor ice cream do you invent?Gobs of Goodness - Mint Ice Cream (white please, no funky green color), with mini M&M's, brownie chunks and fudge sauce swirled through.

Lost and Scared

I've mentioned before about unintentionally spending the night on a mountain, and for some reason, today I feel compelled to tell that story.

I was 12 years old and was out with my cousin (who's really more like my older sister). That evening she had called my mom to see if she could take me "for a walk" after supper. It was Sunday, April 30th, 1989. It was a glorious afternoon. One of those really warm days that lets you know you are now closer to summer then winter. I fought with my mom about taking a jacket as I walked out the door to meet my cousin. I never said goodbye.

My cousin and I spent a while just driving around trying to decide where to go on our walk. We finally decided to drive to the Summit House on Skinner Mountain and just walk around up there. As we pulled into the drive, we met the caretaker of the House. He was closing the gate for the evening. We had a nice, pretty substantial chat with him, complete with him saying "We could spend the night on the mountain, for all he cared!" (how prophetic those words would come to be!). We decided to pull the car around to a rest area and take a trail up.

Another argument ensued with my cousin regarding my coat. She won, I took it with me.

We made it to the top of the mountain without any problem. It was glorious up there. The trees were starting to bloom and everything just screamed SPRING IS HERE!. Knowing that our daylight time was limited we headed back down the trail. Somewhere, things went VERY wrong.

(from this point forward is my recollation of the events, accurate or not, its how I remember it happening)

We were probably 1/2 way down the mountain, when we suddenly couldn't find ANY markers showing us where to go next. Standing in that little gully, I could feel my throat tighten and panic start to rise. Then suddenly, I found it! Up at the top of that hill, that's a marker, right? Up we went. It was a marker, all right, just this one was white, not yellow. Oh, well. Its a trail and that was what we desperately needed at that moment. Unfortunately, our next mistake was about to be made.

We followed the marker for what seemed like ages as darkness ever so slowly encroached on us. "L, shouldn't we be at the car now?" I asked nervously. She offered some sort of reassuring answer, trying to quell her own fears. We continued walking.

As it got darker, things got scarier. I slipped, skidding down a hill and cried. L did her best to reassure me that we were fine. Got back up and carried on following the trail. Then L slipped and completely lost it. I was thrust into the position of reassuring her. "We're on a trail, right? It has to lead somewhere! Sooner or later, we'll come across Route 47 or 116 or something. We just have too right?"

Somehow, we managed to push on. The walking got more and more difficult, though. The trail itself got more dangerous and it was very obviously dark now. We found a spot and decided to stop. We made an agreement, that as soon as there was enough daylight to read L's watch, we'd follow the trail back in the direction we had just come.

The spot we choose, I believe, helped to keep me calm during that night. It was at the top of a cliff, at some sort of an overhang. I could see street lights and house lights below me and the stars above me. I KNOW I wouldn't have fared as well if all I saw was darkness and trees.

I thank God everyday that my mom and L both made me carry that jacket. While it might have been in the 70°'s that morning, it was now in the 30°'s and misting. IT WAS FREEZING. We layed L's winter coat on the ground to lay on, then each put 1 arm through my coat, so that we were back to back with the jacket stretched between us. Every once in a while, we would get up and do jumping jacks or sing funny toddler songs that have movement (Gray Squirrel or Little Teapot), just to keep the blood flowing. Eventually, the feeling in my feet was comepletely gone. I had no balance so we stopped getting up. I layed there shaking so hard from the cold, that it literally hurt. I would have to brace myself as hard as I could to stop shaking for a moment. I've never been that cold in my life and pray that I never will again.

Back Home - as told to me by my sister and mother
My sister, the worrier, began to do what she does best as darkness fell. "Mom, shouldn't Sarah be back now?". My mom, growing a little concerned, would blow her off. I was with L. L is responsible and ALWAYS had me back at the time my mom specified. As it grew later and later, my mom and sister grew more and more concerned. Mom called her sister. "Is L and Sarah there?". "No, I thought they were with you!". It was 10pm. The panick had started. Mom called the local police station, who blew her off. To them we were either out partying or were runaways. Mom called again and again. She FINALLY got a cop that she happened to go to High School with. She got him to believe that we DID NOT runaway (and seriously, what 21 yr old would runaway with a 12 yr old?).

There was a major problem though. No one knew were we had gone! Mom gave the cops all the places we might have gone. That list streched from Quabbin Reservoir to Goshen, MA. Not exactly a small search area. The surrounding cities were notified. A car matching L's was found in Orange, MA abandoned. Wasted time, verifing that it wasn't hers.

They finally found her car, where we had left it. My mom and L's mom drove frantically in 1 car, with my Dad and L's in another. Pictures of us were handed over along with articles of clothing for the search dogs. Our fathers stayed at the site, to help with the search. The car was taped off. L's pocketbook was still in the backseat, but the doors were unlocked. The cops were afraid that we had been forciably removed from the car.

Screams were suddenly heard, and everything got deathly serious. Guns were drawn and our fathers were ordered into a cruiser. Thankfully, what was thought to be screams, turned out to the sheep on the farm where we had parked.

Search parties were formed. The caretaker was called out of his sleep to join the police at the mountain. NOT ONCE did this man tell police that he had spoken to us. NOT.ONCE.

Back on the mountain
Being a TV junkie that I am, I was convinced that no one was looking for us. Every Cop show you see says "Call us when they're missing for 24 hrs". We were alone on this mountain and we would have to save ourself. I kept asking L if she could read her watch. I must've asked 1,000 times. I was cold, I was tired, I was hurt, but most of all, I was really, REALLY scared and I really, REALLY wanted to see my parents.

At one point, something big, something wild walked near us. We both held our breath, braced ourselves and prayed for it to go away. Neither of us was brave enough to open our eyes and see what it was.

At one point, I swore I heard my father shout my name. I wanted desperately to yell back "I'm here!!! I'm here!!!!". L said I was hullicinating.
I just might have actually heard him. I learned later that they allowed our fathers to go to the top of the mountain where the Summit House was, and my dad was yelling for me with a loud speaker. It would have been pointless for me to yell back though. We were miles from where they were, and his voice, combined with the loudspeaker were probably just enough to catch the right gust of wind and carry to me.

It was the longest night of my life. I can't believe how long darkness can last when all you want is so desperately to see light. Laying there in the dark, I was helpless and L.O.S.T. At least when daylight broke, I could pretend that I wasn't lost, just out on a hike on a lovely yellow marked trail.

It was our parents longest night too. My mom's family are all hunters and woodsmen. It was taking everything she had (and her sister) not to call them all and get them on the mountain looking for us. The last thing the police wanted was to lose other people in the dark, so they were refusing help until daybreak. At daybreak though, every single one of our Uncles were at that mountain ready to go.

When we could finally see her watch (it was only symantics that we couldn't exactly tell actual time with it), we got up to go. My feet felt as if they were 3 times longer and 2 times wider then normal. I found it difficult to balance, nevermind walk, but there was NO WAY I was going to stay at that spot any longer. We started following the path back. We were amazed and terrified at what we had climbed in the dark. Trails that were inches wide straddling cliffs with falls that were not survivable. There were a few times I really wasn't sure I could make it back across what we had done during the night.

We walked for probably a little over an hour, when I noticed a guy in the woods. He was wearing a black T-shirt with jeans. He scared me (remember, I'm under the belief that no one is looking for us beyond our parents). He starts yelling "Hey!!! Hey You!". I beg L not to answer him. "If he was looking for us, he'd be saying our names!!".... "Hey!! Stop! Hey! Are you Sarah and L?".....I swear the Heavens opened up and I heard angles singing. "YES!!" As he got closer, I realized his T-Shirt said SHPD (South Hadley PD). We were found! We were safe and we were 50 feet from a road, and road that we had searched for for so long. A cruiser came and picked us up and brought us to our fathers. As we were making our way back to L's car, I saw one of my uncles doing close to 90mph racing up to the top of the mountain. The cops joked that as any other time, that would be the sweetest ticket ever!

We meet our dad's at the base of the mountain where L's car was (we were found MILES away from that area). I was never so happy to see my dad. The tears started then and didn't stop for quite a while. The 90mph uncle came back down. He had thought to bring food, water and blankets. I didn't realize until then how thirsty I really was. We were bundled up while High 5's were flying all around us.

One of the cops informed us that news vans were on the way and let us get out of there before they showed up. We stopped at the 1st pay phone we could find so that we could talk to our moms. I don't even remember what I said. Probably didn't get anything out beyond "Mom?"

Back at home, EVERYONE was in the kitchen. EVERYONE had called into to work to help find us / support our moms. It was supposed to be my mother's 1st day at her new job. (How's that for an excuse!). Things settled down and people started leaving. I remember crying "Do I HAVE to go to school today?". I didn't. I even got to sleep in my parents bed, so that I could watch some tv too. I don't remember watching much of anything, I was so exhausted.

The phone rang that whole day - reporters looking for interviews, friends and relatives. My parents handled them all. I didn't want to talk about it. That night I went to my softball game. I was a celebrity there. I had been on every newscast. Even the opposing team was wondering if I was there. I only played 2 innings though. I was a catcher and it was just too draining.

School the next day was just as difficult. Every teacher (expect 1 glorious one) wanted me to stand infront of the class and tell my story. The school even held a seminar about "What to do if you got lost". I was asked by just about EVERYONE, "why we didn't you just take the trail that went DOWN?" We would've loved too! Turns out the trail we were on travels the mountain top. Its part of the Mohawk Trail, and we were apparently heading to New York.

I've never been back to that trail, or the Summit House. L has, trying to retrace where we went wrong. The trail was re-marked the week after. They're guessing we got lost at a part where a recently fallen tree had been marked. I've been on trails since (GPS and marking the coordinates of our car is helpful), but everytime, I still get a tightness in my throat and an overwhelming desire to just stay in the car.

18 Months

You turned 18 months last Tuesday and unfortunately you haven't been the happiest camper. This past week, you've been clingy, and whiney, and cry-y and just downright miserable. I can't blame you though. You've had to have bloodwork done 2x because the stupid lab screwed a part of it up (and let me tell you, it broke my heart when you put your arm out and pointed to where they were going to jab you), you've had shots, you've got fluid in your ears again which means the ear infection gods are just toying with us right now....AND you're cutting your 2 yr molars which are apparently taking their sweet old time and want us all to die a firey death before they break through...



On other notes, though...Your vocab is amazing and it seems to explode on an almost daily basis. Auntie Melissa taught you to oink like a pig, which is just the cutest thing since your "oinks" sound like a reverse snore (you're exhaling, instead of inhaling). I'm gonna have to get a recording of it to share with the world. You can also make doggy noises, owl noises, cow noises and cat noises (when I remind you that they go "meow"). You can identify your nose, eyes, ears, teeth, belly and belly-button. You LOVE doing "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" and "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider".

Grampy bought you a climber slide and you think mommy and daddy are cruel people for not letting you play outside 24/7. You love opening the door, climbing up on to the platform and pushing yourself down the slide.

We celebrated Easter this month too and you were in love with the little puppy that was at Memere's. You followed him around EVERYWHERE and were so gentle with him. Made me want to get you one, until I remembered that I don't want another thing that poops, pees and needs to be feed on a daily basis!



Uncle Jeff seems to be turning into your favoritest person in the whole wide world. He stopped over for a few minutes the other day, and you had the most despondent look on your face when he left. It was almost as if you were too sad to even say "BUH-bye!". Your parents, on the other hand, you seem to keep us around, only for the occasional "Scooby Snack" and helicopter spin around the livingroom (which only daddy gives you since they scare the crap out of me every single time he does it!).

We are counting our blessings at the moment since you are still a great sleeper. So much so that when we ask you "Is it time for Night-Nights?", you actually say "yef!", grab "bankie" and yell "up!" so that you can get over the gate and start climbing the stairs to your room.

And you still don't say "no". At all, not once!

Bravo!!

So I got my copy of When You're a Parent with Diabetes by Kassie Friday afternoon. Finished the book that night. All I can say is BRAVO Kassie!!!

I loved it! It's a quick, easy read (and honestly when you're a parent - nevermind one with D, who has time to read?), her "voice" really shines through (some days, I swear Kassie is my long lost sister!), and I love that its written by someone who lives with these challenges day in and day out, instead of some pushy MD that really has no clue what daily life is like. And hey, "knowing" the author and over 95% of the people quoted in the book is really, REALLY cool!!!

Of course the first thing I did was flip through, to find myself, LOL, and was quickly pulling out names! Even DH recognized some of the people.

Anyway, Kassie, I think you did an AMAZING job!! The book is great and should be a vaulable resource for all parents with diabetes!!!! I give it 5 stars out of 5!!

Symlin - Take One

So I had an endo appt today and we've decided that I'm going to add Symlin. I was a little concerned. I mean, really, it seems like a giant step backwards in D care...I have to use NEEDLES again. Shots and a pump? What madness is this?

Can I just say that I AM LOVING SYMLIN!

Granted, I've only talken 1 dose, but that dose was with PIZZA!! I was a little afraid when I dialed in my bolus and the screen said "Deliver 7.0 units?"....Um, ok, but that's SOOOOOOO not gonna cover this pizza (remember I've got serious IR problems!)...

Pre-Supper - 76
1 hr Post Supper - 96
2 hrs post Supper 126

HOLY SHIT THIS STUFF ROCKS!!!

Oh, ya, and I was FULL on 3 slices. Should've only had 2, but my brain was just like "no way, 2 slices of pizza, is just not enough".

Lancet, Lancet, Who's got the Lancet?

So the "new and improved, reborn D" Sarah, has been leaving her testing supplies out, so that I see them, and actually remember to test. This has been quite successful, until last night.

I started running low around 7pm last night. Felt shaky in the shower (which is never fun!). Got out, had some frosted mini wheats and obviously ate more then 15g. Left testing supplies on table to remember to test after Lost to make sure I'm not flying high.

Finish watching a kick-@ss episode of Lost, go to table...Meter - Check!, Test strips - Check!, Lancet - lancet?, lancet?, lancet?? Ah, crap, where the hell's the lancet. Start searching the kitchen, blaming the cats. Searched under the fridge, under the stove, in all crevices...everywhere. Swearing now starts and DH gets called downstairs to help.

How in the hell did the cats play with my lancet without me hearing the tell-tale sounds of it being batted around the kitchen? Hmmm, WAIT A MINUTE!!! There's a much sneakier, much quieter criminal in the house! Ok, if I was 18 months old, where would I put a lancet? Trash? Probably. - Dig threw, EWWWWW, no lancet
Toy box? - Even closer, but no go....

Where did I find my lancet finally? In her Muppets lunchbox. Of course! If she was awake she would've looked at me like I was nuts not to look there first.

Couldn't Help Myself

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
George Carlin

This is SOOOOOOOO my mood right now!

Meme stolen from Julia

Accent: I don't think I have one. Unless you count saying wicked an accent. Gotta love Western MA.

Booze: No thanks. LOL Not a big drinker and if I do, it best taste like Kool-Aide. I'm a cheap date, lucky if I finish 1 drink.

Chore I Hate: All of them. Bathrooms the most (which is why none of you will ever see them!)

Dog or Cat: Cats - 3 of them. The Princess, The Pet Slut, and The Pee'er.

Essential Electronics: Computer. Came real, REAL close to buying a new laptop this weekend. F*&&%^ formatting a laptop!!

Favorite Perfume: NONE. All give me horrible migranes.

Gold or Silver: silver

Hometown: Holyoke, Massachusetts

Insomnia: All...The...Time...

Job Title: Sr. Operations Analyst (oh ya, and Mom and Official Nose Wiper).

Kids: One

Living arrangements: House that I own with DH, SWCAL and the Cats.

Most admirable traits: Very loyal

Number of sexual partners: One

Overnight hospital stays: 2 - 1 week when Dx'd in 93 for 5 nights and then for my C with Ally in 2004 for 4 nights.

Phobias: #1 - Failure, #2 - Someone breaking into the house while I'm home, #3 - Spiders

Quote: I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect. George Carlin

Religion: Really not sure. I believe in God and being a good person, but beyond that most religions tick me off.


Siblings: One sister.

Time I wake up: 6 a.m. during the week, around 7 on Saturdays, and 8 or 9 on Sunday's (DH's morning to get up with SWCAL).

Unusual talent or skill: I really don't know.


Vegetables I love: I pretty much like them all.

Worst habit: Stemming back from when I was PAINFULLY shy, I have a nasty habit of mouthing what I just said to make sure I said it right - long story involving a friend who called anything I said "stupid". I don't do it very often any more (noticably), but if I'm really uncomfortable, it'll slip out.


X-rays: Lots and lots on my back (lumbardosis as a kid, treated at Shiners with back brace), shoulder - dislocated, knee - 3x and an MRI, dislocated 3 times, multiple sprained ankles...LOL I'm a walking disaster.

Yummy foods I make: Just about any baked good. LOVE decorating cakes, hate cleaning up afterward.

Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

Branching out

So I've been a Softset girl my whole "pumping" life. Sure I've tried the odd silhouette style sets here and there. Love their low-profile, hate that they leak like a sieve on me after a day.

So being the "new and improved", "daring, willing to try new things" diabetic Sarah (who used her hip for the first time 2 days ago!!), I decided to order me some Quicksets. Came in today.

I tore into that package like a kid at Christmas (am I the only one who gets all excited about new D toys). SO anyway, there I am with this surprisingly small box for the infusion sets and even smaller box for the inserter. Take a set out. I'm all excited...Then....Wait..Does this go here? What the heck is this blue crap, do I pull this off? Oh, crap I guess not, there goes the needle. 1 set trashed, maybe, just maybe I should read the instructions.

I never felt so dumb in my life. These sets had me completely stumped. Took me a good 15mintues to get it all worked out. Its in now, I'm happy, absolutely no pain on insertion (someone please extend my delusion that they all go in that painlessly!!). Took another minute or 2 (and more reading of the directions...ugh, I'm such a women!) to figure out the disconnect, but so far "Mikey Likes!"

It was Inevitable

Lastest google search leading here:

pillsbury biscuit dough tube explosion

:)

And yes, I'm afraid of biscuit dough tubes!

Jump for joy or cry?

Don't know which I should do. I finally installed my One Touch Software here at work and am enthralled with it. I'm sure the more I play, the more I will find the preset reports to be too limiting, but for now, I'm in love. This is why I'm jumping for joy.

Crying - well, I've got all my readings, or lack there off, staring me right in the face. Then there's the statistics...Out of 51 readings, only 24% were within range.

24 - freakin %!!! No wonder my A1C was in the crapper last time it was done. Its amazing how having all the information right there staring you in the face makes you snap to attention.

Then, to add insult to injury,I printed out my CalorieKing diaries to get the food data into the software. Holy CRAP, I need to stop eating out. First off, some "meals" had more calories then I should consume in a day, and I've yet to even come close to guessing the carb count correctly.

Diabetes - 1 Sarah - 0 (bring it on!)

Let the games begin!!!

Batman!

Couldn't resist, just like DH couldn't resist putting it on her and snapping the pic!

I QUIT

I had one of those nights last night. Those nights where you wish you could just pull the covers over your head and forget about this whole D thing. Honestly, I did pull the covers over my head, but I couldn't forget, damn it!

I'd been running high ALL DAY. Not once did I get below 250. Not.Freakin.Once.

Normal person - this is a no brainer, change site, change insulin, bolus and watch the bs drop down to normal.

Psycho Sarah - get pissed, get rebellious, refuse to change site, continue bolusing into what is already a painful site, get sick, go to bed saying "Screw all of this, I'll deal with it in the morning".

Lie in bed for 2 hours feeling horrible and wishing my heart would stop racing (from the high, anger, both?). Come very, very close to ripping the pump off and throwing it down the stairs. Resign myself that I cannot ignore it any longer (this was "normal Sarah" trying desperately to take over) and go downstairs, spend 5 minutes changing my site and am in bed and a sleep within a 1/2 hr.

WHY IN THE HELL DO I DO THIS?????????!!!!!!!!!!

Some days, I don't know what in the hell is wrong with me. Most days I can handle a high, treat however necessary and get on with it. Others...I dunno. Unexplained highs will just royally piss me off. I somehow see them as a reflection of a failure - and I.Hate.Failing.

Luckily, today, I'm back. I'm me. I'm sane and I'm generally below 150 (although the unexplained 156 at lunch sent a little Dr Jekyll back into me).

I am: bored
I want: to go home
I wish: I was 100 pounds lighter
I hate: unexplained highs
I miss: sleeping (DD's been on a sleep strike)
I fear: failure
I hear: coworkers on the phone and a truck outside
I wonder: when/if there will ever be a D cure
I regret: nothing, really
I am not: always as happy as I pretend to be
I dance: like no one is watching
I sing: as soon as I'm in the car
I cry: constantly
I am not always: neat.
I make with my hands: awesome baked goods that I shouldn't eat.
I write: to let out feelings I could never say outloud
I confuse: who I am with who I think people want me to be
I need: to be able to spend more time with SWCAL
I should: stop procrastinating
I start: supper every night
I finish: most things on time

Weird Googles that lead to my Blog

Firecracker soup can in bucket of water

licking cat

cute crying

Baby to English Translation

There's some days where I would give anything to understand exactly what SWCAL is saying to me. She definitely has her own langauge. Certain words she says constantly, like -

"galub-ba-lub!" - this is ALWAYS a statement and I'm guessing generally means - "Give me what you have!" (usually spoken when we are eating or drinking something)

Then there's...

"Gually-ga?" - This one is always spoken as a question.

Then there's the totally random "talking" that occurs in the car after she's said "ma!" 100 times and I've said "what?" 101 times. I generally wait for "galub-ba-lub" or "gually-ga" and respond accordingly.

This post doesn't have a point....I just don't ever want to forget about "galub-ba-lub!" and "gually-ga"

Easter

  

Penance for Yesterday

So DH said yesterday's post was pretty lame..LOL Seriously though, have you ever gotten to that point of utter, complete lack of will from the never-ending tedium of having NOTHING to do, while you're stuck for 9 hours at a desk. I'm talking flipping through windows, trying to look busy, can't even think of anything to surf for on the web, boredom??! Whole WORLD-WIDE WEB and I couldn't think of a single topic to research...Heck, I've got a million things I could look for now and of course, I'm busy now, which would mean I shouldn't be writing this, but oh well. I could start planning the "its never gonna happen" trip to Bora Bora, look for new caches in and around my area, learn about Indian (as in India) culture, relive my trip to Alaska...You get the point.

I don't have anything insightful today, except to tell you all that the little person inside my head, that regularly cracks me up, is currently chanting "Neener, Neener, neener....I don't have to work on Monday!! I don't have to work on Monday!!! Neener, Neener Neener" She's got a pretty cool dance to it too.






Love IT!

Random Thoughts

Is it technically possible to die of boredom? I'm pretty sure I'm teetering on the edge.

Give me a break!!!

Officer cites 82-year-old woman for being too slow to negotiate busy street


"Mayvis Coyle, 82, was shuffling with her cane across busy Foothill Boulevard while a traffic police officer watched and waited.

And watched and waited.

Even before Coyle finished crossing the intersection at Woodward Avenue, he had scribbled a $114 ticket for crossing against a don't-walk signal. "I entered the crosswalk, it was green," said Coyle, of Sunland, who is fighting the infraction issued Feb. 15. "It turned red before I could get over. There he was, waiting, the motorcycle cop.

"He said, `You're obstructing the flow of traffic."' "


......And in a surprise twist, the awards for "Dumbest Cop of the Year" & "Least Likely to Have Ever Been a Boy Scout" goes too....Officer Kelly

YES!! A boredom killer

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Julia for ending the non-stop tedium of this day!!! LOL

"Go to Wikipedia and type in your birthday. Don't include the year. Record three events, three births and three deaths that happened on the day you were born."
EVENTS
1791 - The United States Bill of Rights becomes law when ratified by the Virginia legislature.

1891 - James Naismith introduces the first version of basketball, with thirteen rules, a peach basket nailed to either end of his school's gymnasium, and two teams of nine players. (and I've never been to the BBall Hall of Fame, even though its 5 minutes from my house!)

1994 - The web browser Netscape Navigator 1.0 is released.

DEATHS
1890 - Sitting Bull, Sioux nation leader (b. circa 1831)
1944? - Glenn Miller, American musician (b. 1904)
1966 - Walt Disney, American animator (b. 1901) - My hero :(

BIRTHS
1933 - Tim Conway, American actor and comedian
1949 - Don Johnson, American actor
1967 - Mo Vaughn, American baseball player - GO SOX!!!!!!

"Edit-Me"

Why do those 2 words under my Links section send a shiver up my spine? "Edit-me"...Its calling to me, sinisterly, so full of potential, yet completely lacking in any direction or suggestion.

Is it because I feel pressured, unsure of myself or my choices? What should I link too? What I put there reflects on me. Do I relink my old digiscrapping kit? That just seems old and tired, definitely not how I want to feel. Do I add more links to D related topics? Well then, that might allow people to think that I'm more activist then I've ever really been. So what, do I link? Or, are the word's speaking to me, directly to me....Edit Sarah, but how or better yet, why? Do I edit the link, or take those 2 words to heart - edit "me".

If I could edit me, what would I edit? My weight? Well, shit, that's a given. D? Um, hell ya, screw the whole "D made me who I am" - I know who I am, and I don't need D teaching me any more lessons, thank you very much. But other then that, is there anything about ME, Sarah, the person, that I would edit? I really don't think so. I'm happy with who I am, where I am. Are there things I wish for? Yes. Like winning the lottery (even though I don't play) and being a SAHM (even thought I'd go nuts after a week). But those aren't me. I don't ever dream about being a different person, never. Is that normal? Do I need editing?

"Edit-me"

I wish I took a picture

So we got a backpack carrier for "She Who Cries A Lot" (SWCAL) this weekend. Its pretty nice, actually fits my "round" body, and seems quite comfy. Oh, did I mention, it was FREE!! (freecycle.org ROCKS!!).

Ok, here comes the part where I should've taken a pic. We put A in it, she's screaming the entire time. DH figures out how to get it up onto his back, and starts walking around the kitchen. The entire time, A has the most pathetic looking face on and is whimpering "Up, up, up, up, up, up, up", ("up" is used for both up and down), while she clutches her "bankies". (yes, I'm telling I took delight in my child's misery, honestly what else is a parent to do?). I asked her if she was having fun, and got a quiet, quivering "yez". We took her out after that...

Hmmm, what do you think? 10 minutes, 3 times a day, should get her used to it?

We got it so that we could start Geo-caching again. If you don't know what geo-caching is, YOU ARE MISSING OUT!!! Its great!!! Basically people place small "caches" in the woods, post the coordinates to it and you use your GPS to find it. The cache itself is nothing much (think McDonald's toys), but its usually placed along a nice hike, or at an amazing view. We'd like to take SWCAL with us, hence the carrier. Wish us luck next Saturday!

My biggest Secret

For years I've lived with this secret. To be exact - 12.5 yrs, I've lived with this secret. I am convinced I caused my diabetes. To understand, we have to travel back an additional 6 or 7 yrs.

I've always been tall. Always. I'm the same height now (5'10") as I was in 4th grade. As such, I've always towered over my friends and sometimes even my teachers. Being tall is great now, but back then I didn't feel tall, I felt F-A-T. Here I was probably 130-140lbs, which on 5'10" is actually skinny, but when you put me up against my friends who were lucky to break 5' and probably weighed 80lbs soaking wet, I just looked fat.

When I was around 9 or 10, one of my best friends (aren't all friends at that age, your "best") was diagnosed with T1 diabetes. I saw how her food had to be carefully weighed and measured and how limited she was in what she could eat (pre-"carb counting" days). I went home one night after spending the day with her and feeling incredibly fat and I actually - god I am literally shaking as I write this - wished and prayed that I would get diabetes, so that I would HAVE to follow a diet and would be skinny and petite like my friends.

I cry now for that little kid. How F'd up is society if a 9 yr old girl prays for a disease because she thinks she's fat?? I honestly saw D as my only way to lose weight. Nevermind that I swam competitively for over 6 months of the yr and was actually a normal weight for my height. That didn't matter, to me, I was fat, and D was my cure.

Skim forward a few yrs and I'm in the hospital. My sugar is 1500. I'm getting shots of insulin while I'm sitting at the registration desk at the hospital. Another shot as I ride the elevator up to my room. Oh, lucky me, I get a private room. The girl admitted right before me, should've gotten it, but since she was in a dka coma, well they put her with the 2 yr old (by comparasion her sugar was 900). Dr's are freaking out and I've suddenly become the side-show freak girl who's still walking and talking. I just wanted to eat lunch and would someone please bring me something to drink, dammit!!

I couldn't believe what was happening. I had lost a ton of weight and while I thought I looked great, apparently everyone else thought I had an eating disorder. I had all but forgotten about that night years ago. I had taken the diagnosis in stride. Didn't cry once that first day in the hospital, or the second, or third or even fourth. Not while I was practicing injections on oranges, not while I gave myself that first shot. I didn't cry until my final night in the hospital when I remembered that little girl and her wish. Then I cried and cried and cried. I did this to myself. This was ALL MY FAULT.

Ever since, I've felt like I can't complain about my D. I have to be the "well adjusted", accepting Sarah. The "ya, I've got D, but its really not that bad", "I'm fine" Sarah. This wasn't something that just happened. This was something I willed on myself so I best shut up, put a smile on my face and get on with it.

Fast forward to today, and D is my curse. Since my diagnosis I've gained well over 100 pounds from a combination of lack of exercise, poor food choices, and oh ya a little thing called Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome which causes severe insulin resistance which in turn causes weight gain, which requires more insulin, which leads to more weight gain and up and up goes the scale. And all this time, I've NEVER told anyone about that night so many years ago. And now here I am telling the world my deepest, darkest secret.

Now if I can only hit the publish button.

So what does this mean?

Seeing as how I get an inside scoop on the Healthcare biz, I've had my DH ask around about this new MA Universal Healthcare Plan. Where I was freaking out yesterday, I'm getting mildly less concerned today.

Apparently, according to this Boston Globe article these "universal" plans still cannot bypass the madatory coverages for infertility (and assuming if they have to cover infert, that they'd have to cover diabetes).

What I would give to spend some time with that bill (but I don't think my employer would be too happy with me doing that here ;) ). Not that it would help entirely, since the government still hasn't even seen an actual plan offering from the major insurers.

If they can't charge deductibles, then what in the heck are these plans going to look like? $100 copays for office visits? If that's the case, what's the point of having any insurance if you still can't afford to use it.

Stolen from Six Until Me

Top Five Non-Diabetes Related Websites
www.youtube.com
www.flickr.com
www.connected-moms.com
www.google.com
any site not connected to work - ie any site not related to a utility or utility regulation.

Top Five Reasons You’re Grinning Today
Its almost time to go home
This IM comment from my Assit - "since when are grown adults incapable of sticking a piece of paper in an envelope, putting postage on it and putting it in a basket?"
Other then that, nothing...Blew my blog to bits today and have to start from scratch.

Top Five Uses for Bacon Bits
Salads
Burgers
Potato Salad
Eggs
Cheese Soup!

Top Five Places You Want to Travel To
Australia
Italy
Greece
Germany
Bora Bora

Top Five Guilty Pleasures
Scottsdale, AZ Princess Resort
Warm Chocolate Chip Cookies
Well really ANYTHING chocolate
um, chocolate
and, oh ya, chocolate

New Look

Ok, I've been spending WAY too much time trying to fix the old layout. I've just grabbed any ole template for the time being (since I screwed the old one so badly that it just showed the code instead of my posts and I don't have a backup here at work).

Hoping to redesign my header and color scheme tonight. IE still having issues with the sidebar fonts...sigh.

MA version of S1955

Be afraid, be VERY afraid.

My initial thought, hell my ONLY thought is - What is going to stop EVERY employer from offering these low cost, basically no coverage policies? Or better yet, from just paying the $295/employee penalty for not offering ANY insurance?

Sure there's the "crappy benefits = no qualified person wanting to work for you", but you know what, we all have to work, so the odds are still stacked in the employers favor.

I'm seriously at a loss for words. I don't think I can express my fear of losing pump coverage, insulin coverage, TEST STRIPS!!

In a way, I'm lucky right now. DH works for the health insurance company. They have a vested interest keeping their costs down, which includes keeping me healthy now.

New England - Land of the Schizophrenic Weather

This weekend - 80°' s
Today - 2-5" of F*&^ing snow

and the Sox lost. We must be masochists

'nuff said.

WHy I hate Internet Explorer

Ok, so maybe hate is a strong word, but if any CSS savy person out there can tell my why my sidebar is suddlenly freaking out and getting REAL tiny, I'd be eternally grateful.

I really don't have the patience to learn CSS, although I am getting more adept at it!

Thanks!

17 Months!

Today you turn 17 months!! It's amazing what you learned this month. You're trying to jump. You bounce and bounce and bounce, but those darned feet just refuse to leave the ground. You can now say in addition to momma, dada, doggie, kitty, cheese and juice - bubbles ("baaaabaas"), baby ("bebe"), pepere ("pepay"), please ("pfeas"), cheerios ("cheooos"), "uh-oh", and your favorite mine ("minfs"). EVERYTHING is minfs. Minfs kefs, minfs juz, minfs momma...



You drove me a tad nuts this month too, honey. You again fell in weight percentiles. You're now only in the 3rd. That freaked me out enough to bring you to the Pediatric GI and nutritionist. I couldn't believe my luck, but I was able to get in with both only 2 days after calling instead of months and months later. So far they think you're just a tiny, but healthy thing. We're going to have bloodwork done soon (you're not going to like that!).

You stayed with your Grampy and Uncle Jeff and Aunt Amanda overnight this month. Mommy and daddy had to go to a wedding in CT. They say you were a little angel. I'm still waiting for the true story.

You're a little ham now. You love to get people's attention by running around and then pretending to fall. You generally stop, fall to 1 knee, say "uh-oh", then tumble to your tummy. Sometimes you don't even get to a standing before you're "falling" again.

You're currently on another food strike. The Nutritionist claims that we should offer you supper and leave it at that. She claims one day you will actually eat it, but for now we're happy if you just don't fling it from the highchair. (please honey, you do need to eat SOMETHING! Really honey, most toddlers LOVE cookies and ice cream...give it a try)



We don't take you out to eat anymore. You're just too spirited to be contained by a highchair. You want to get out and explore, Explore, EXPLORE!! I love your spunk and fearlessness. Unlike most toddlers, you're not afraid of new surroundings or people. You may stick close to me at first, but before I can blink you're off exploring! Please don't lose that quest for adventure.

Happy 17 months!
Love, Mommy - whose off to put you and your screaming, crying butt to bed right now.

Dixie Girl?

This was a fun quiz!!! Are you a Yankee or a Rebel?

5% Dixie. You are as Yankee as they get!!

Damn straight!!! Born and raised in Western MA.

Anyone got a cure??

No not a D cure, although I wouldn't toss that to the curb....What I'm dying for, what I REALLY need, this immediate moment is a cure for the common cold. I am MISERABLE. Its been a week now. A week of being so congested my ears pop each time I swallow. A week of sounding as if my vocal cords have been shredded. I can't swallow, I can't breath, I can't hear. I'm coming very close to disappearing in an avalanche of used tissues (speaking of which, I just ran out. Great, back to TP). DayQuill isn't even touching it. This is ridiculous! I don't think I've ever had a cold this bad!! How long can it possibly last??????????????

Fear of the Day

I am terrified, literally terrified of refridgerated tubes of biscuit dough. The sudden explosion with no warning, the audible POP. Terrified. I pretty much refuse to open them. If DH isn't home, we ain't having rolls! I might as well be holding a lit firecracker with no visible fuse, thats how scared I am.


Just another glimpse into my wacked-out mind~

The Plague

This sucks. Either I've got round 2 of the plague from last week, or a brand-spanking new form of the plague.

I can't tell you how annoying this is. Can someone please pull my head out of the bucket of water its apparently in? What's that you say? No, seriously, what? I can't hear you. I can't hear anything but the ocean in my head. Maybe I'm turning into a hermit crab, kindof like how that guy turned into a giant cockroach in Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka.

Sleeping was 1,000 ways of fun last night. No tissues in the house, so I slept hugging my trusty roll of TP. Does a nose wonders! By the way, as a word of warning, the Kleenex antiviral tissues (stopped at the grocery store this morning), giving the TP a run of its money in the "slowly disintegrating the skin on my nose" contest.

Ally better not get this. She can't afford to get sick again. OH! I got her in with the Ped GI's. Appt's tomorrow. Talk about luck, I called right after a cancellation. If not, they were booking end of May/beginning of June.

Off to drug up. Serenity Now!

Random Photo of the Day

She's Just Too Cute (when she stops crying)

Hey Mom, Whatcha taken a Picture of?

Playing with my new, shiney flickr account. Figured what a better way to test it out, then with a funny picture of A.

Now this deserves my attention

Unwed Fathers Fight for Babies Placed for Adoption by Mothers By TAMAR LEWIN
Published: March 19, 2006

Now this, this is truly a worthy cause. Here are men, standing up wanting their children, children that they may have never known existed and here we are in the US just obliterating their rights.

In my book, the pendulum swings both ways. If a women is going to have sex, knowing full well that any baby she has will go up for adoption, then the burden of contacting all potential fathers before an adoption takes place should be be on her shoulders. Men should not have to register each and every time they have sex....How absurd is that?? And seriously, if you don't know who the father of your child is, you've got bigger emotional issues then the need for a quick adoption.

This burns me just as much, probably more, then the twit who wants the Supreme Court to release him of his "fatherly duties" because he didn't want the baby.

Stupid Quote of the Day

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President

Brought to you by the makers of TheraFlu, who, medically, has given me the ability to breath air without tiny, little daggers attacking my throat, but has fully taken away my ability to put a coherent thought together.

A has successfully brought the plague down on us. I was hoping to come up with some funny "and the heavens became hell and the sun stop shining, and trolls overtake the earth... but, ya, the brain power was not stringing that together this morning.

DH and I are sick, A's got another ear infection and she's lost weight. JC! I was hoping to crack that freakin 20lbs mark...Nope 19 lbs 7 ounces. We're now off the chart for weight...GRRRRRRRR!!! This child of mine went from 10lbs 4.8 oz at birth (and yes, my bs's were SPECTACULAR during pg - highest A1c was 6.4%, all others in the 5;s) which was off the charts at around 99%, to 19 lbs 7 ounces at just about 17 months, which put her off the bottom of the charts (somewhere around 2-3%). She still hasn't doubled her birth weight!!!!!!!!!

Wow, that's one meandering thought there! And I'm going to work today! LOL

Just Great

You Are 18 Years Old

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. .

What Age Do You Act?

I'm a teenager again. I guess that explains the current breakout of acne and mood swings.

Say it with me....Sick Again!

A's got another cold and probably another ear infection. Daycare just called to inform me that her fever's back, she's crying and now is pulling on her left ear. Can't she catch a break? It seems like all she does is get sick. Its one of those "ironic" things that aren't really ironic, (hey if Alanis Morrisette can take that literary jump, so can I) that I have to put her in daycare so that I can work, yet the daycare itself makes her so sick, I can't work.

This motherhood thing really is a no-win situation. You're damned if you and damned if you don't.

We brought "she who cries a lot" to the mall the yesterday. We were going to bring her to the parade, but figured between her cold and the fact that neither one of us wanted to stand out in the butt-freezing cold, we wisely chose to push A's 1st parade off for another year. As a penance, we bought her a set of fridge magnets..a la Leap Frog.


This proved to be an endless source of fun for DH and I. How many sentences could we come up with using just each letter once. He had nice sentences like "John is calm", "Johns tired" (ok, no apostrophe, but hey I even gave him "John is kul").

Me, the only thing my demented head came up with was:
"John is a turd", then I expanded that lovely thought to "John is a flegmy turd"...Not at all spelled correctly, but had me laughing so hard, I almost fell on the floor.

And this man got me my battery last night!! Love, that's Love.

Some days I wonder....

Last night, my pumped beeped at me. That alone is not a strange event. The pump beeps at me all the time. The beep du jour was Low Battery. Roll over, scrounge through my nightstand drawer find a battery and a nickle...Beep, Beep, Beep...Low battery...What the F&ck!!! My nice, loving DH goes downstairs and finds me a new battery. While he was gone I got to thinking..."This is so weird". Here I am, in bed, awake, because a device that is PHYSICALLY ATTACHED to me, needs a battery. "Normal" people don't live like this...I can't even adequately describe how "abnormal" I suddenly felt. I felt like the Million Dollar Man, but in a bad way.

I had just finished watching an episode of the Soprano's, their life was more "normal" then mine.

I dunno, some days my head does some benders that send me spinning. Most days I don't even give my pump a second thought. Just last night, wow, it was weird ...or maybe I'm just weird.

Go, Go, Go-go-go

12.5 yrs, you'd think I could just push that little button....12.5 yrs, you'd think I wouldn't have to have a countdown in my head, 12.5 yrs....

I guess time does not heal the un-natural act of piercing ones skin. It never fails. Whether with a syringe or an infusion set, I ALWAYS have to have a countdown. Always.

3, 2, 1......Ok, ok, 3...2...1......no....

Ok, this is it 3-2-1go-go-go-go-go

Never Again

Never again, will I bring "She who cries a lot" with me to the dentist. I figured it would be a good way to introduce her...Ya right! She did her namesake proud. OMG, I've never heard her scream like that. The ENTIRE time. Top of her lungs, "I'm dying" screams and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't see her, I couldn't hold her, I couldn't even talk to her..

Iths obay ha-e aaa-ie ith rith heah....Ya not cutting it for her.

Receptionist tried stickers, books, songs - nada.

Dentist blamed it on "teething"...Um, no I think its the scary face masks and the fact that people are shoving their hands down mommy's throat. The freak out ended the second my cleaning was done. Dentist gave her a toothbrush, she smiled, said "kitty", shoved her nuby (paci) in her mouth and that was the end of it.

She was all smiles as we headed out the front door, and I'm pretty sure, as that door closed, I heard a small cheer from the office.

Dentist

I have to go to the dentist today. And, yes, I hate the dentist. The scraping, the buffing, the scraping, the cleaning, the scraping....Sends that shiver right up my spine. I'm not crazy about the thought of someone elses hand jammed in my mouth either. Glove or no, ewww.

Today, just to add to the misery, I have to take "She who cries a lot". This should be interesting. Hehe, maybe it'll make the cleaning go a tad bit faster. She's not gonna like sitting in her stroller the whole time. Gonna take A LOT of stickers for bribing, and I'm letting them supply the stickers ;).

Snow??...SNOW!!!!

Yup, yesterday - mid 50°'s

This morning - SNOW!

Gotta hate New England.

Tastes of Spring

This weekend it was in the mid 60°'s. It was amazing! We took A to her first park. She LOVED it! I've learned I have a little daredevil on my hands. No wussy baby slides for her! She only wanted to go down the biggest and fastest slides there. She'd skoosh her little butt right up to the edge, push off and throw her hands in the air like the most veteraned rollercoaster rider. Time after time she went down the slides with the biggest grin on her face.

It was so nice being outside. I've never been a fan of winter, and now being cooped up with a toddler, I hate it even more. These glimpses of spring are wonderful and horrible all rolled into one. Its amazing being outside, watching the everyone come out of their winter coccoon. Windows opening, fresh air in the house. Its horrible though, knowing the weather isn't here to stay, and winter is ready to pounce at any moment.

Tomorrow is that moment. Mid 50°'s today, low 30°'s tomorrow....sigh.

Deep In Thought

Be a Man!

Men's Rights Group Eyes Child Support Stay

This pisses me off to NO end. I mean, full on shaking, want to scream and holler at this guy. Not because he wants "equal" rights. I won't even get into those politics.

What REALLY pisses me off, is that this poor, innocent, little girl will grow up knowing her father doesn't want her and is willing to go to the Supreme Court to prove how much he doesn't want her. What will that do to this girl's self-esteem as she grows? I couldn't imagine growing up with that knowledge.

I don't care if you're male or female....You do the horizontal mambo and you best be prepared to love and care for whatever happens 9 months later.

Feel Naked

I forgot my pocketbook at home today. I can't count the number of times I've been forgetting stuff at home lately. Last week alone I think I successfully got my lunch from the kitchen table to work 1x. One measly time. I made my lunch every morning, lovingly put it on the table, then promptly walked right out the door without.

This morning, I was overly concerned about not forgetting my egg salad. I kept reminding myself, "Don't forget the egg salad, don't forget the egg salad..." I didn't forget it. Left that pocketbook right there on the table though.

Thankfully, I haven't removed the tester from my Cozmo yet (score 1 for procrastination!) and I've got some Freestyle strips here, so I'm good on that end.

Bad news, I've got a mother of a headache, need caffeine and have NO $$.

Article about the Transplant

Newspaper Article About Transplant

A little annoyed that they didn't mention John or SIL (seeing as how they are family too), but all-in-all a good article.

Door Licking Cat

sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt

Not a nice noise to wake up to at 2am. It can only mean 1 thing. The damn cat is licking the damn door again. Once she gets going there's no stopping her. The only thing worse is when she finds a plastic bag to lick. ARGH! In my best, most authoratative voice, I scream (quietly - can't wake "She who cries a lot") "Knock it off cat or I will flambe you!".

sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt


Flambe?? Where the hell did that come from? Not punt you, not drop kick you, not toss you down the stairs (ok, before PETA comes a calling, I do not do those things to my cats - although I do picture it in my head!).
This had zero effect on her. First off, she has not clue what flambe means. She probably figured I was going to give her treats. And secondly, I called her cat, not Trinity. That, in her demented mind, left the possibility that I was talking to the other 2 cats, who might be licking doors....somewhere on the couch....downstairs.....sleeping.

sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt

"CAT!!!"

sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt

maaaaamaaaaaa!!maaaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaa!
maaaaaaaaammmmmmaaaaaaaaaa


shit.

Scary Thoughts

I need to learn not to google things!

Last night I was playing on the computer and came across something about Julia Roberts and Retts Syndrome (if you don't know what it is, DON'T google it!). Ya, I googled and then got sick to my stomach. Not so much that I was worried that Ally had it, or would get it, but the realization hit me that nothing is guaranteed in life. The thought that something/anything could happen to Ally absolutely paralyzed me.

I wondered if this was how my parents felt when I was diagnosed. I feel like I took my dx quite well, almost matter-of-factly in an "Ok, so now what?" sort of fashion. I never considered what my parents went through. I can't even imagine...

FIL is coming home!

6:15am
Phone rings...Phone ringing at 6:15am is never a good sign.

Luckily, this time it was. FIL called. He had already gone for 2 walks, packed his bags, laid out his clothes, razor and towels for a shower and was wondering when DH would be there to get him.

Its amazing how great he sounds. He even admitted that he feels like he's on nos or something. He's just now realizing how sick he must've been.

He should be home sometime this afternoon!

BIL is Home!!!

Got released this morning. I'm sure it was quite a long ride home (its about 1.5 hrs). Couldn't imagine doing it while in pain!

FIL should be released Mon or Tues. Drs said that if he's rejection med levels were correct he could've gone home today too!!!!! A little more tinkering and he should be good to go.

Its amazing to see how well he is. And his color...O-M-G!!!! He used to look gray with an underlying yellow color, now he's all perky and pink and healthy looking. Its just amazing.

Ok, "Little Miss Cries A Lot" is squirming in her highchair.

pssst, Hey you! Want some sugar?

"You are so much more than the sum of your sugars...." - ArtSweet

I found this quote this morning, and it means soooooooo much to me. It's amazing how I attach who I am, with what the meter says. So much so, that I purposely don't test if I know it will be high. I cannot look at a high reading on the meter without equating it as somehow a failure of who I am as a person. Why do I do that?

I know my identity is in no way, shape or form, linked to my diabetes. I am Sarah, and I have diabetes, but I am NOT diabetes. Yet, that meter can make or break my day. One little display, which spits out a number in 5 seconds can literally make or break me.

I need to detach myself. 12.5 yrs and you'd think I know that those numbers have a mind of their own. I could be the model citizen of diabetes, and the numbers decide that I'm actually the drug dealer on the corner handing lollipops out in the land of D.

Its My Own Damn Fault

Tired, I am so very, very tired!!! I haven't slept it seems since last Friday. I thought Tues, night I would FINALLY get a good nights sleep, knowing that FIL bleed was under control and that they were both doing well. Did I sleep?? NO! Why - cause I'm a freakin idiot!

My stupid site stopped working so I spent the night peeing every 40 minutes. Why didn't I just get up, change the site and go back to bed?? That's what a sane person would do, but apparently I am not a sane a person in the middle of the night. I fight it. I get beligerant and stubborn. It annoys the hell out of me. It takes all of 10 minutes to change a site, drop a bolus and go back to bed. Instead I stay in bed, AWAKE pretending I don't have to pee. I'm a freaking moron!

Tonight was better, but Twinkle Toes decided on a 5am wake-up call today. 5am was not part of my plan. I was actually planning on sleeping in and going to work at a "normal" hour. (I've been going in for 7-7:30am to at least pretend that I'm working 40 hr weeks right now).

Of course, with all the stress right now, my sugars have been WACKED OUT! I was 366 this morning 8O (that's my eyes popping out of my head!). Ugh.

Back to Lahey

We're off to visit BIL and FIL. Hoping to get some great quality time in with them both. According to our updates from SIL, they are both up and walking a bit. YAY

16 Months Old

Hey Ally. You turn 16 months today. Where has the time gone?? This past month has been a trying one all around. You won't remember, but pretty much as soon as you turned 15 months, you became quite the terror. You cried A LOT, you whined A LOT, you really, really perfected your temper tantrums (if I can ignore the screaming, its actually really funny watching you buck yourself around the livingroom on your back).

You also won't remember your Grampy and your favorite Uncle being in the hospital. Right before you turned 16 glorious months, your Uncle shared his liver with Grampy in what called a Live Liver Donation. It is really an amazing gift. Mommy and Daddy are sorry that they had to drag you all over creation the last few days, but you had some fun playing with your cousin.

We learned that you HATE, with a passion, H-A-T-E snow. It took Mommy over 20 minutes to bundle you all up, and we spent all of 5 minutes outside...and yes, Mommy's a tad colorblind. I was going for function over fashion.




You're such a big girl now. I can't believe how different you from a year ago. You can say "Momma", "Dadda", "Cat", "Dog", "Done", "Ya", "Keyes", you said "Miffy" last night and so many others that I'm forgetting right now. You understand just about everything we say to you and LOVE being read to.
Oh, The Wonderful Sounds Mr Brown Can DO was your absolute favorite. Mommy can recite my heart now, but Belly Buttons is quickly becoming your new favorite.

You've also grown enough hair that you can FINALLY put some up into a cute little pony-tail at the top of your head. You haven't kept it in long enough for Mommy to snap a picture, though.

Mommy and Daddy Love you!


P.S. - Mommy got the idea for this post from Dooce.com. Sorry she didn't think to do this sooner.

T1 Diabetes

I'm constantly amazed at how I'm interested when I find out someone else has diabetes. Its like I'm meeting another member of some secret cult that a select few have joined.

I found out today that Elliot Yamin and Kevin Covais - 2 of the contestants on American Idol this yr are both diabetics. Elliot wears an insulin pump. I find this INCREDIBLY interesting and find myself routing for them regardless of their talent.

My DH thinks I'm off my rocker when stuff like this interests me, but seeing other people (whether I know them or not) who have this disease and know the ins and outs / ups and downs like I do, makes me feel less alone. I dunno, maybe you need to have it to understand....

Uhhh, ya...

You Are Boston

Both modern and old school, you never forget your roots. Well educated and a little snobby, you demand the best. And quite frankly, you think you are the best. Famous people from the Boston area: Conan O'Brien, Ben Affleck, New Kids on the Block

What American City Are You?

Found the link to this cute little quiz here
Snazzy blog about T1.

The Bleed has stopped!!

Such a huge relief has been lifted. We just got word that the internal bleed in FIL has been stopped by the platelets and drugs. They'll test him again in a few hours, but its looking like we've cleared this hurdle.

Ok, I think I've taken my first real breath in days! Now lets see if I actually sleep tonight! Can't wait to see them both tomorrow. I've been part of DH's family for just about 12 years now and it truly feels as if its my father and brother there.

Drama..Too much drama

FIL has developed a bleed. We kindof saw the writing on the wall yesterday when he had to have 2 bags of blood for unknown reasons. Our fears were confirmed last night, after we got home. They gave him platelets throughout the night, hoping that it would "clog up the bleed". Unfortunately, last night we didn't know where the bleed was. I spent the night sick to my stomach that it was heading to the liver and that the new liver was getting starved of blood.

They found the source this morning. A small vessel that leads nowhere now, apparently wasn't closed completely. The liver is fine. The platelets slowed the bleed some, but hasn't stopped it. They are giving him more this morning along with some drugs hoping to slow it even more. If it does slow, they will continue that course of treatment. If it doesn't, he'll most likely go back into surgery to close it off.

I just keep telling myself that if he's still in his normal hospital room and not back in the ICU, then obviously its not that horrible. That's my mantra and I'm sticking to it!

I need sleep.....

Home, Sweet Home

Well we're finally home. We got to visit with BIL and FIL for a short while this morning, then decided to pick up "she who cries a lot" and head for home. We figured that DD needed to get home, since she hadn't seen her crib in over 3.5 days. If there's one thing you learn quickly with a toddler, its the overwhelming, life-threatening NEED for structure and routine and we managed to trash hers to itty-bitty bits in the matter of 1 weekend. It wasn't pretty and we're going to have to devote LOTS of manhours re-establishing her routine.

Thankfully, though, both FIL and BIL look great and so far we are in the clear. They've both passed the critical 24 hour mark with flying colors.

Day 2 - just about over, 363 more till we all breathe the "mother" of all relief sighs.

If anyone can recommend a good toddler CD - I'm all ears!! We've now officially logged over 10 hours of Seseame Street this weekend and if Cookie Monster loses his cookie at the disco one more time, I just might lose all of mine, permanently!

One healthy....one to go

Ok, BIL is just about out of surgery now. Everything went great! They were able to take a little bit more liver then they were expecting.

They're working on putting it into FIL now.

Waiting

This is so very surreal. I'm sitting here, reading books, playing soduku, and typing and every once and a while it will hit me that our lives are on eggshells right now. I keep thinking that BIL & FIL are at appts or in a meeting and they'll be coming back any minute now. Then BAM!!! I remember why I'm really here. Its just sooo odd. So many things can change soooooo drastically right now. I wonder if this is some sort of emotional way of dealing with it.

3 hours in, at least 3 more to go.......

At the Hospital

Well we're here and the waiting has begun. FIL and BIL should be heading into surgery in about a 1/2 hr. We're all in the waiting room now.

Yesterday was an exciting day. DH's aunt and uncle came down from "God's Country" aka Northern Vermont. Hit white outs from the snow storm and ended up in a 25 car pile up. (We seriously need some good luck, if the good luck gods are listening!!!). Luckily they were ok, but their truck was totalled. They had another cousin bring a dolly down to tow it back up north. He ended up in a 20 car pile up. Then got pulled over when he was headed north again, because he didn't have working lights on the dolly....

We went to Foxwood's yesterday also. Lost our shirts! Well not really. I can't gamble enough to lose my shirt. I play $.02 slots....Ya, big gambler here!! We were there for 7 hours and left down $70 including lunch and we bought a book each for today, so not bad at all.

Ok, I'm really nervous, so this is probably a really bad post. I'll jump back on when we get an update.

Thanks for all the well wishes!!!

Kassie - if you're reading - Thanks for the link!

Tinkering

I've been tinkering with the layout. Hope you all like it. Header was made using papers from my newest kit. You can downloaded it using the link on the right.

Just Amazing...

So my life (well my entire family’s life) is going to be thrown for a loop in the coming weeks. On Monday, my BIL will be sharing his shiney, healthy, only somewhat used liver with my FIL. He will be donating over 60% of his liver to his dad. The liver has the amazing ability to actually regenerate, so in a little less then 3 months time, BIL will be back to about 80-90% of liver function and FIL should have just about 100% liver function. This is just amazing to me.

We found out 1 week ago today that the surgery would be this Monday. I think we’re all still in a little bit of shock. We knew it was coming, just not that quickly. It was so quick that BIL and SIL had a little courtroom wedding Wednesday afternoon during their lunch break. SIL’s work was refusing to let her take FMLA or use her sick days to help care for them after the surgery since she technically wasn’t “family” (even though they were getting married in July). So I had jokingly suggested that they get married now, and we’ll all just pretend that they didn’t in July. Honestly, never thought that they would actually go through with it. SIL called City Hall, they said “Come on down”. They had to go before a judge to get around the 3 day waiting period; he opened up with a gruff “So what happened?” and was totally shocked at their response (I’m assuming he was expecting more of a redneck, “She’s pregnant, your honor”). Signed their application without another word and wished them the best. Back to City Hall, met with the JP and wham, bam…They’re married!! In attendance, FIL, FIL & BIL’s Boss and SIL’s parents. That’s it.

On Sunday we’re heading to Foxwood’s for some fun before the storm. Hopefully it will keep everyone’s mind off Monday. Don’t care if we get lucky there. I’ll save all my luck for Monday!

Sunday night, we’ll head out to my cousin’s who lives about 15 minutes from the Lahey Clinic and sleep there since we have to be at the hospital for 6am (its about 1.5hrs from our house with no traffic). Come home Monday night, go to work Tues morning, leave at lunch and head back out to the Clinic.

BIL will probably spend about a week in the hospital, FIL 2 weeks.

Little Miss Screams A Lot

Honey, now really, can't you PLEASE give mommy and daddy a break. I hate that you can't tell me whats wrong, so instead you proceed to scream for hours and hours and hours and hours...The Drs say you aren't sick, so what's wrong??

Mommy's brain is still recovering from last weeks 4am wake-up call, and is still hallucinating bugs. I can't take the screaming anymore!! And while we're being honest, WHY IN THE HELL ARE YOU SUDDENLY HITTING???!!! Where did you pick that lovely habit up? Its not funny, its not nice, and right now mommy doesn't know how to stop it, so its making me feel like I'm failing you.

Anyway back to the screaming...I'm beginning to wonder if you just find being miserable for miserable's sake fun. Really, there's no reason to your madness. You could be throwing the mother of all fits, to the point where I'm dialing the Ped's thinking you've got some horrible disease, I put you in the tub, and BAM you're all smiles....Take you out and that horrible, sadistic alter ego of yours comes back. Listen close honey...YOU CAN'T LIVE IN THE TUB!! Especially when you won't let me wash your hair while you're in there anyways...

Ok, its 7:45pm, you're still wide awake in your crib..I can hear you playing (dear god, thank the sweet lord, that at least you aren't screaming). Anyway, mommy's exhausted and she's going to bed...That's right mommy's going to bed before Jeapordy is even over...Honey, I'm 29, not 92, please stop making me feel like 92

This is your mom......

....This is your Mom's brain at 4am....

4am is NOT an acceptable wake up time, Ally!! Especially not on a Saturday, one of the 2 days that Mommy can at least pretend that she gets to sleep in. You know what?? Noggin, is not even on at 4am!! (thank the cable gods for On Demand!).

Seriously, honey, mommy can't function when she gets up at 4am. She needs crack to do that, and she's really trying to cut back and yes, mommy hallucinates bugs at that ungodly hour. 4am really, REALLY makes me want to put the 4-Sale sign around your neck and put you out on the corner.

I knew I was in trouble when you were a crankpot last night and Daddy put you to bed at 6pm. What does he care? Saturday ain't his day! You best bet Daddy will be keeping you up until midnight to ensure that HE gets to sleep in tomorrow.

Luckily (I guess), you decided to grant me a tad glimpse of sanity and let me put you back to bed at 5:15am.

You were back up at 7, though.

Am I worth it?

I'm gonna get serious here for a moment. I've been told that I'll be more successful if I actual write stuff down.

So I've re-re-re-re-re-started Weight Watchers again. This time I'm doing core (which I really love by the way). Tuesday at our meeting, the leader had us focus on "Empowering Beliefs". Basically:
1) Is my goal desirable and worth it?
2) Do I believe I'm capable of acheiving my goal?
3) Am I worthy of acheiving that goal?

Ok, I've got no issues with #1. That's easy. My goal isn't even sooo much a weight goal (although I'd love to weigh 170 again), its a "I want to be able to walk into ANY store and be able to try on clothes"(within reason. Hey,I'll never be able to stroll into a petite shop and try stuff on..I'm anything but petite, and dieting ain't gonna change that!). I don't want to have to ever step foot into a Lane Bryant or Avenue again because I'm forced to by lack of other option. I mean, if I see something in there that I like..Fine, but being forced there, NOPE. So my goal is to fit into 12-14's.(OH, I also want a regular sized bath towel to fit ALL the way around me, but hey, I'm not actually going to admit that out loud, and don't tell anyone I told you that one...ok?)Very desirable goals, very "worth it" to me. These are things I dream about everytime I step foot into the mall (which I don't do often, since it depresses me...Maybe I should go more often as motivation?)

Ok, #2 - Do I believe I'm capable? Here, I'm a little less confident. Can I do it? I do it? Well technically - yes! Have I ever done it before - no. And that scares me. Sometimes I think I sabotage myself because its almost like I'm afraid that I will not be able to do it, and then I've failed, so if I don't try, its not like I actually F-A-I-L-E-D. I just didn't try. I don't handle failure well and honestly, I've never failed anything in my life (even that grad-level statistics course, according to UMASS, that D-....still passing!!). I've got to learn to stop letting my head battle itself. This is NOT one huge ultimate life "pass/fail" test. I look at the end and think OMG, I'm never going to get there. Its never going to happen. I have to stop thinking that way, and just think about today, and just next week's weigh-in. Celebrate each loss and learn from each gain.

And finally #3: Do I think I'm worthy of achieving this goal? - Hmmmmmm, Well deep down I know I am, but I have a tendency to put myself off, to make others happy. I don't even know how to verbalize what I do. Dh want's to go out to eat, "Okay" - not because I want to, not because I think I'll be able to navigate the tricky world of restaurant dining without screwing up, but "Okay" because it will make him happy. To bad, that I'll be either miserable with my choice at the joint because its either a tasteless, expensive piece of crap, or I ate horribly (there I go again, with the pass/fail, I can't compromise - its either eat like a rabbit, or go hog wild). I dunno, maybe that's not even an "am I worth it?" issue and still back to the "Can I achieve it?"...Ugh.

Ok, that was a lot of soul searching...Waaaay to deep. Anyone who made it through all of that, I applaud you, and hey give me a shout out if you can relate. Its really quiet here, talking to myself!!

mama-mama-mama-mama-mama

OMG!! Ok, so I'm really happy that DD finally calls me momma. Its the sweetest sound ever, except after the 1,000,000 pathetic-sounding mamma in the last 10 seconds (because, me "Mommy Dearest" won't let her play on the stairs), I'm pretty sure I'm going insane. I can't even think straight right now...I'm not even sure most of these sentences have verbs at the moment.

Why can't she say da-da-da-da-da-da??

And can someone please tell me why she hates my car soooo much?? DH claims that she's happier then a pig in...well you know, on her ride to DCP in the mornings. Well, when I pick her up, you'd think I was strapping her into some sort of Graco inspired torture device. I end up blasting her Sesame Street CD to drown her out, and sometimes I wonder which is worse. If I even think of putting the RADIO on, OMG, she takes it up about 400 decibles, that I didn't know a toddler could have. So there I am, every afternoon, listening to "The Gang", with my daughter screaming as if I'm bringing her to impending doom.

I just thank god right now its winter. What are people going to think, when I'm next to them at a light, CD blaring, me singing "A cat had a birthday, and all the cats came, to eat cat cake and play cat games, to open cat presents and when they were through, they sang happy birthday the way that cats do" while DD screams. Might as well call the looney bin now and reserve me a room!

Oh, and go ahead and sing along with me .."They sang, meow, meow, meow...Everybody do it now...Meow, meow, meow, really nothing to it now, meow, meow, meow, well imagine that! You just said Happy Birthday, in cat!" (its my favorite song :roll:)...and if I left you with a lovely tune stuck in your head....Well your welcome ;) I'll reserve your room next to me. Wonder if we can get a group rate?

What I Learned Last Night....

Last night DD had her 1st honest to goodness stomach bug, complete with puking every 10-20minutes. It was horrible, it was messy and I was pretty sure my heart was going to break watching her like that.

Here's what I learned though.....I guess I am a REAL Mommy! I never thought that I could hold someone while they puked, clean them up, clean the mess up, hold them and hug them, without getting sick myself. Or at the very least resent them for making me clean it all up...Not so with DD. My heart broke each time I felt her little stomach tighten. I didn't give a second thought to holding her, cleaning her and the mess. I prayed each time that that would be the last...Not because I didn't want to deal with it again, but because I didn't want HER to go through that again. She was so frightened each time it happened...

Catch-up

Its been awhile since I've been here...Hmmmm, what's been going on?? :? Not much. I've started Weight Watchers and am on the Core plan!! It rocks and I lost 5.6 pounds my first week!!!! It does get a little getting used to. Its all whole grains, nothing refined, no sugar. I bought something called Wheatena, and um, ya, if that was all I could eat, I'd DEFINITELY hit goal weight quickly..It was like eating a bowl of sand. Not saying that I've eaten sand, but DD has, and even she wouldn't eat this stuff!! YUCK! Oh, well, live and learn!

Wow, I like !!!!, huh?

Oh, cable - Ya, digital channels STILL don't work. Getting royally pissed about that.

Not much else, here. I'm bor-ing today, huh?

To make up for being so boring, here's a funny LO I did of DD...

Cable TV is driving me to drink!

Evil, Charter Cable is pure evil. So Dh now has his BIG screen TV setup and running. Oh Yay! Whatever, I'm over that now. All excited, we'll get to watch the SuperBowl in High Definition TV! (Go Pats!!!)...

So we make an appt for the Charter latchkey to come out and "install" (used incredibly loosely here)our High Def/DVR cable box. First off, the guy somehow, KILLS DH's receiver. Dead, won't turn on, all she wrote. Unfortunately, its our word against his that it was working before he came, so there goes another $200, not even worth the aggrevation (and if we're keeping score, and I am, DH is up around $3000K now for this TV of his!). Hooks up the box and announces that it doesn't work, there's no sound (um, ya, maybe because you broke it?!) He then a just walks out of the house, leaving the door WIDE up...Um, hello??!! 3 INDOOR cats and a toddler??!! And, are ya done? Are you coming back? What do we do?

Back in he comes, toting another box. Phew. Installs that, nothing. Hmmmm, beginning to wonder if this guy actually works for Charter, or if we're just letting in any ole person off the street. Tells Dh that he'll either have to accept:
1) A HD Box without DVR
2) A DVR box with No HD
0r
3) Call and make another appt.....

Thanks, great...Ok, so we can either "accept" what we don't want or wait some more. Dh asks "Can I take an HD box now AND make an appt to have someone come out and bring an HD/DVR box" (How foreward thinking my DH is). This apparently blows this guys mind, looks at him like DH has a frog doing a soft-shoe performance on his head) "ug" That's the response we got "ug" What the hell does that mean???

Charlie "The Caveman" Installer leaves again (with the door wide open). While he's off at his truck doing lord only knows what, DH hits the POWER button on the supposedly "broken" box and VIOLA we have cable (no sound, cause ya know, he killed the receiver, but again, I'm not bitter). We thank the man, and send him packing.

DH leaves on his expedition to buy a new receiver (not hiding his glee at his unexpected good fortune of getting to go electronic shopping too well) and DD and I watch our new HD tv.

But wait...Where are the HD channels that we're paying $13.99/month more for...Call Charter. Listen to horrid music for 23 minutes...HD channels are in the 800's. Ok, go there, we get 3, yes 3!! HD channels..WTF??!! When DH talked to the Charter rep, who was very happy to upgrade our service, we were suppose to get HDNet, Discovery, PBS, NBC, CBS, ABC, ESPN, and Fox all in HD. What we actually get, that is ACTUALLY available in our area - Fox, ESPN, and Discovery (which plays Sunrise Earth approx 23 of the 24 hours each day).

No HD SuperBowl for us, or so I think!! No, no, no....DH is undetered...Off to Circuit City he goes again, this time to buy an HD antenna. Somehow this all seems very wrong to me. We've spent $3,000 to go back to rabbit ears????

That's not even the best of it. Ever since we've "upgraded" our digital channels have been whacked out. They'll work for while in the morning, then they'll start blacking out, eventually completely going black. This wouldn't be such a horrible thing except Noggin, as I've stated before, is god's gift to parents.

This is unacceptable, unimaginable, and been ongoing for over a week now. 2 calls (both with 30+ wait times) and where did we get......No cable.

Cables out, been out since last night. Not a single channel works, no analog, no digital, no HD. Thank God for rabbit ears.

Men and Their Toys

What is it with guys and toys that are expensive, BIG and highly breakable by toddlers?

DH "finally" got his big screen TV on Monday. 46" inch Samsung DLP. Of course with the new, BIG (read $$), TV came the need for a new entertainment center (read more $$), and oh hey we also "need" a new DVD player that can upconvert from 760p to 1080i (read even more $$) and to actually have that conversion take place we need a $120 cable (a little piece of wire costs $120??!!!!!)...Oh and by the way, the playstation2 looks like crap on the big TV, so we need to buy a component cable to help fix that, but lucky me, Playstation3 (when released) will have all its games in at least 760p...Joy of all Joys!! How I ever got this lucky I'll never know!!

Of course my life is now filled with "No Allison, don't touch, that's Daddy's" The new entertainment system has no doors, so there's LOTS of shiney things that have lights on them for her to touch! Do manufacturers HAVE children??!! Seriously, WHY would you illuminate the power button of a DVD player in blue? Why not just give me a big, blazing arrow that blinks "PUSH HERE ALLY!"

Men! Can't live with them, and they can't live at Circuit City.

Sick Again, Sick again.....

Ugh, this winter its been one darn bug after another! What is going on? I'm now hacking my lungs out and sound like Jack Klugman.

My kingdom for some sleep!! I spent all of last night either coughing myself into a fit, or waking myself up with my own snores :shock:..The night before was the mother of all nightmares....Full night of killer, 6-foot, talking, Pink Rabbit. Horrible, scared the crap out of myself all night, and seriously, you'd think Bunny, Pink..How scary can that be?? Pretty damn when its bigger then you and can tell you that its gonna chop you and your DH and DD up for its version of "Rabbit Stew". And to think I don't even eat rabbit!

Praying that DD doesn't get this one. The last thing she needs is to get sick again. We're just finally getting some weight back on to her.

Health Insurance SUCKS! But what's the alternative?

ARGH!!! Why can't insurance companies get on the damn boat and realize that living with diabetes is annoying enough. They really don't need to add extra crap! DH just got a new job FOR THE INSURANCE COMPANY and now I guess I'm going to have to change all of my meters. My freakin pump comes with a built in meter that takes ALL the work out of correcting my blood sugar. You'd think that the isurance company would love this, right? NOOoooooooOOOOOOOoo. I can't use the strips that that meter takes (well I can, but I will have to spend approx the GNP of a small Latin American Country on copays for them).....ARGH!!

To top it off, I'd bet good money that the only test strips that are on the "cheap" prescription list (if $50 can be called "cheap")will be the basic ones and so help me, I am NOT going back to the basic "it needs more blood then the Red Cross takes during a donation" model....Nope sorry, looks like I'm gonna have to figure out that GNP and which country it is, cause I'm gonna be forking over big time!!

Being sick sucks

Ok, so I suck at updating this, but I have my reasons!! Mainly an incredibly sick child who hurled every last virus at her momma!! Last Thursday I was praying for that bright light to take me away! I hurt in places I wasn't sure I could hurt. My fingers hurt, my back hurt, my toes hurt, my head hurt....you get the point.

Poor little Ally hasn't faired much better. We've had a cold, a stomach bug, and now the mother of all illnesses, THE FLU...dum, dum, dummmmmm. We ended up at Urgent Care yesterday morning and then at the hospital to have some bloodwork done...Thankfully nothing is wrong, other then her being plain sick, but holding your child through another blood-draw was not what I had on my agenda for a relaxing Sunday (the two things on that agenda was breakfast out and getting the Christmas tree - all assuming Ally was feeling better).

On the way home from the Hospital, I very causally mentioned that maybe we should just forget about a tree this year. DH, apparently, valiently fought off losing control of the car and having a heart attack. Poor DH still hasn't had the Christmas Tree shopping experience he's always wanted. Poor guy is delusional that one day we will all go out drinking hot cocoa, singing Christmas carols while we snowshoe into a beautiful snowy meadow to cut down that perfect tree.....Instead, he brought us home, left the 2 of us on the couch while he trudged to Home Depot, fought the crowd and bought the first tree that wouldn't give Charlie Brown's a run for its money......Ahhh, the holiday memories to cherish at Home Depot.

What I've learned about illnesses with a 1 year old......

1) Noggin is god's gift to parents. It didn't matter how hard she was crying if I put Noggin on, all would be right with the world (her's not mine....I, personally, want Franklin to die and have serious doubts about the intelligence level of Dora since she never seems to see that sneaky Swipper and couldn't find the 3 bunches of bananas hanging right over her head without our help.)
2) Oatmeal looks the same coming out as going in.
3) Jack's Big Music Show ROCKS!!!!
4) My DD loves seltzer water. Why, you ask, would I give her selzter water (soda water)? I didn't, my mom did and I still haven't gotten the whole story as to why, but at that point all I cared was that she had actually drank something.
5) No one can explain the difference between a warm mist and cool mist vaporizer.