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Friday, September 01, 2006

In which I Bore You with a Dream Sequence


I realized as I wrote this to a friend today, that it would make a good post. Ok, a decent post...Ok, ok, I just really want to tell everyone about my dream, and since you can politely "walk away" without me knowing it, I'm posting it here.

I had the WORST nightmare last night.

By far the worst, baby
related/ something happening to Ally nightmare.

It started as one of those no matter how hard you try to hurry and get somewhere you end up further and further behind. Well we were all trying to get to work, and just couldn't seem to get there. Drove around, not getting any closer to work and ended up at my parents. John leaves for work, carrying Ally, and this being a dream, my mom and I stay home and decide to have a party. Its the middle of winter and we're having a grand ole time till John calls (late at night, maybe 11ish). I ask how Ally is and he says "What do you mean? She's with you".

I drop the phone and start running all over screaming for her with my heart in my throat. Screaming and screaming, racing through the house looking for her. Outside, screaming into the wind, in the dark. I don't know what made me look, but I went to my van (I don't even own a van) and sure enough, there's Ally (probably 6 months old), strapped into her car seat, almost frozen (DH had thought I was following them out and put her in the car - we do this every morning. We leave together and he puts her in her carseat in my car). Her face was a gray color and shiney, like it was getting frostbitten.

I.LOST.IT.

Hysterical screaming and crying, crying like I've never cried before.NEVER. My dad was trying to get her out of the seat, my mom screaming "Is she alive?". I grabbed her and ran inside. Thankfully John had her all wrapped up in blankets in the car, so most of her was still somewhat warm and she was still alive. My mom was warming formula for her, trying to get anything warm into her and I was just holding her, rocking and crying.

I woke up bawling and it took quite a while to stop, including 2 trips into her room to make sure she wasn't cold. I'm still shaken when I think of it.

7 comments:

Johnboy said...

Sarah, how absolutely horrifying!

Did you check your bg afterward? I have heard legendary stories about hypo-induced nightmares. And maybe that cold imagery fits? I don't really know.

Anyday, I'm glad it was just a bad dream!

Sarah said...

I did test. On the lower end of normal, but no where near actually "low". I do think it related more to my anxiety/depression rearing its ugly head again. Nightmares are one of my 1st signs and I've been having doozies lately (this one being the worst).

Kassie said...

scary. I say that only because there really isn't a word for just how scary that is!

Everytime I hear about a kid left behind in a vehicle (accidentally) I think, man oh man, that could have been me - I have been that flustered/busy/etc where I can understand how that happens!

Sarah said...

Exactly...I was going to end the post along those lines, but I didn't want to start any wars about how "stupid" a parent could be to have something like that happen.

I think that's why I'm still so shaken to the bone when I think about it (even re-reading it, I start crying). How easily that scenario could happen to me in real life.

julia said...

Oh god, how awful! I've had horrible dreams like that and they scare the crap out of me, too.

Scott K. Johnson said...

Oh man - that is so very scary.

caramaena said...

Scary.

I don't usually remember my dreams but I had a horrible nightmare about my son a few months back. It was awful.