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Friday, September 29, 2006


Since I'm still the proud owner of nothing, and really still have nothing to say....maybe actually getting a full nights sleep (hear that SWCAL - night time is for SLEEP, NOT french fries!) will return my thoughts. Oh ya and if I could stop worrying about insurance / alarms / money that insurance may or may not give us... Anyway, I figured I could handle a meme...

1. Do you still have tonsils?

Amazingly Yes. I was threatened multiple times that I would have them removed (strep 10 times in 6 months). Turned out my dad was a symptomless carrier, one round of antibiotics on him and I was a new girl!

2. Would you bungee jump?

Not unless I was drugged, dragged, and tossed off.

3. If You Could Do Anything In The World For A Living What Would It Be?

I have no idea what, but it would be something creative that I enjoyed every second of, could do on my own schedule and allowed me to stay home with SWCA. Maybe something to do with baking.

4. How many tattoos do you have?

none....WAY too permenant for me.

5. Your favorite fictional animal?

Mickey Mouse. Was going to marry him when I was little and it wasn't a pretty sight when I was told I couldn't marry a cartoon.

6. One person that never fails to make you laugh?

My DH.

7. Do you consider yourself well organized?


8. Any Addictions?

Sugar....Scary thought, huh?

9. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news?

CNN, I guess. Internet. Don't read the paper. Too difficult to manage.

10. Would you rather go to a carnival or circus?

A carnival-- more fun, more to see/do.

11. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A pilot with the Blue Angels.

12. Best Movie You've Seen This Year?

Is it sad that I can't think of any, even though we get Blockbuster Online?

I think I saw Crash this yr. OMG, I've never had such a physical response to a movie in my life. I honestly hurt after watching it.

Guilty Pleasure Best Movie - Mr. and Mrs. Smith I don't know why, but I.LOVE.THIS.MOVIE

13.Favorite alcoholic drink

Not a big drinker. Its gotta taste like Kool-Aid for me to enjoy it.

14. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

Check email while I brush my teeth.

15. Siblings?

1 sister

16. What is the best thing about your job?

getting paid on Friday.

17. Have you ever gone to therapy?

Nope, but probably should.

18. If you could have one super power what would it be?

Maybe the ability to manipulate time.

19. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?


20. Have you ever gone camping?

Not in years. We used to go every summer when I was little. Problem now is that my definition of camping (in which a bathroom is within walking distance) is FAR from DH's.

21. Gas prices! First thought?

Going down

22. Your favorite cartoon character?

Scooby Doo.

23. What was your first car?

A used 89 Chevy Cavalier.

24. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?

Absolutely not.

25. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?

I guess Cosby Show.

26. Do you go to church?


27. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?

Walt Disney

28. What errand/chore do you despise?


Every last one.

29. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?

I woke before it. Like I always do.

30. Last time you puked from drinking?

Never have.

31. What is your heritage?

French, French-Canadian, Irish and English.

Mostly French/French Canadian, though.

32. Favorite flower?


33. Disney or Warner Bros?

Warner Bros. Definitely Warner Bros.

34. What is your best childhood memory?

Any memory from the lazy days at the camp, at the lake just spending the day on the water with our friends. Nights spent playing kick the bucket and walking around the lake in the dark trying to scare one another.

35. Your favorite potato chip?

Eat Smart Veggie Crisps

Hope those count

36. What is your favorite candy?

Dark Chocolate.

37. Do you burn or tan?


38. Astrological sign?


39. Do you own a gun?


40. What do you think of hot dogs?
Not my favorite.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Cats are all home!

I found the 3rd cat a few minutes after posting. I was sitting in the computer room and thought I kept hearing a box just barely move. I knew that all of that had been tossed, ever so gently, all over the room by "The assholes" (formerly known as robbers), so deep down I knew it wasn't the cat, but had to look anyway.

Of course he wasn't there, but as soon as I sat back down, I saw his glorious little black nose peaking out of the closet. So thankfully, even though our side door was wide open from 12pm until 4:45pm, all 3 stayed in the house! (and OK, neighbor, how the hell do you not notice THAT?!?!?)

We were able to narrow the time of the crime to 11-12pm. One neighbor saw the car on the street with a guy walking the street at 11am, and is PISSED that he didn't call the cops (he always does - we live on a dead end, so we ALL known when a car belongs here or not), and the OTHER neighbor saw it in our driveway probably between 11:30 and 12pm. No license plate numbers, just a red/maroon Olds sedan with front fender damage. SO the cops have that.

julia - I'm right up the street from the library in your town(I think you're in the same town as Deb), on one of the side streets by the river.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


We fucking got broken into today!!!!!!!! Everything's gone. Out Wide screen tv, the receiver, the dvd player, all the speakers, all our cameras, our laptop, our PHONES (who the fuck steals phones???)...Fucking EVERYTHING!!!

Worst off all we're still down a cat....MY cat :cry: :cry:

I came home and the side door was wide open. I left Ally in the car cursing that we mustn't have closed the door tight enough, but just in case. Walked in and immediately noticed that the tv was gone and lost it. I called John Hysterical, then my dad (my dad works minutes from my house), then the cops.

Oh fucking BEST thing, one neighbor watched the WHOLE DAMN THING and never called the cops!!!!!! What the fuck is that???!!!! Did you not get suspicious when EVERY piece of electronics was being unloaded from our house into a car you've never seen before??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

The broke the window in our kitchen in the back of our house to get in.

At this point I just want my cat back!

I completely lost it when we thought all 3 were gone. We found 2 of them in the house about 2 hours later, so we're hopeful the 3rd is still here just hiding really well.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

No rest for the weary

Cancel the Tylenol PM and the blow to the head.

A's sicker then a dog right now. Kind of came out of left field. She's sleeping right now, but I put her to bed with a fever of at least 103F (it was 102F and change under her arm with her squirming). She also MASSIVELY congested and when she coughs (oh thank the heavenly lord it isn't often), it seems to last for 5 mintues, sounds like she's drowning and FREAKS.THE.HELL.OUT.OF.ME.

We're giving the tylenol an hour to do its magic. If she hasn't come down to a more respectable 100F, we'll be off to Urgent Care....Or if she has another coughing attack, I'll be taking her in.

It just doesn't sound right. She doesn't really have the sniffles and all this congestion is just lodged in her chest. You can hear it in her voice and breathing...Fears of pneumonia are cursing through me at the moment. Monitor is cranked by the bed. Off to get maybe 1/2hr of sleep.

Project: Screw Sleep

Data Log - Day 7

Sleep still nowhere to be found.

Sheets covered in cat hairball - 8pm. Lying on mattress.

Out of the blue high reading 8:30pm. Bolus. Still high at 9:45pm (5 points HIGHER to be exact). Another F&^%ing bad quickset site. New site, Rage bolus and low at 12am.

Lie on couch for 2 hours. Sleep for 1.

Lie in bed for 3 hours, sleep for 15 minutes.

Getting crankier by the minute. Want out.

I'm either taking Tylenol PM tonight, or just cracking myself in the head with a sledgehammer.

Monday, September 11, 2006


I wasn't sure if I could write about today.  I wasn't even sure I wanted to.  I'm compelled though to write what I probably will never be able to say.

5 yrs ago, I was sitting at work and answered the phone.  It was my boss's sister.  She told me a small plane had hit the World Trade Center.  Then his daughter called, then my cozy, safe world came crashing down.

We had workers in and around NYC, including my boss's son.  I began the ardurous task of trying to get a hold of them.  Cell phones were pretty much useless in the Northeast, but I kept dialing and dialing.  I finally got a hold of them.  They were all together, they were safe and they were trying to get out.  The made it over the bridges, one of the last cars to leave the city.  We later learned they watched it all happen from the roof they were on.

We turned on the tiny TV that we have here and watched.  I wasn't sure what to do with myself.  Do I work, do I go home?  News came of military actions and my thoughts suddenly turned to my sister.  At the time she was living on the Air Force Academy.  I called her immediately.  Didn't care if my boss said anything about calling Colorado from work.  I NEEDED to know she was safe.  She was, but the entire base was completely locked down, her husband was on duty and she was alone and terrified.

DH called around noon because his car wouldn't start.  He worked for a 24/7 call center for TTY users and HAD to get to work.  They were understandably swamped.  I left to pick him up and drive him in.

I drove past an auto dealership with the largest American Flag I'd ever seen, billowing in the wind.  I had driven past that flag thousands of times before and never noticed it.  And suddenly it hit me, that this was real and happening HERE, not half way around the world in some country I couldn't pronounce and would never visit.  Thousands of people who had gotten up, gone to work like any other Tuesday, weren't going to come home.   And I couldn't explain why they weren't...Why this had happened...Why here.

I hadn't cried until then.  I couldn't stop after that.  I cried the whole way home and all the way back.  I pulled it together enough to go back to work, but my heart, my mind, my soul was not there and wouldn't be for weeks.

That night I had planned on staying home, but 5 minutes of CNN and I HAD to get to my parent's house.  There was talk of war and retalliation, of further attacks and I couldn't handle it.  I sat in the cellar with my dad and cried watching the coverage.

I honestly don't remember much about the days and weeks that followed.  I know I cried pretty much every night after work watching Dan Rathers, and every morning before watching CNN.  We learned that one of my closest childhood friends shouldn't be with us today.  She should've been at the bottom of one of the Towers right as the planes were hitting.  She had decided to sleep in that morning and skip a class. 

We got up early that following Sat and stood in a line that streched for blocks and bought a flag.  We prayed for the families who had lost loved ones, for their spouses and children, their mothers and fathers.

9/11 shook me to my core.  It stripped me on an innocence that I'll never get back.  It's not that I'm scared to fly or travel or live my life, but it made me realize how quickly life can be taken.  How the most mundane of days can quickly become life altering and how little control I truly have.

I often wonder if Ally will ever fully comprehend what 9/11 means.  I'm guessing not.  She will learn about it through textbooks and edited videos shown in school, but it won't have the same meaning.

Friday, September 01, 2006

In which I Bore You with a Dream Sequence

I realized as I wrote this to a friend today, that it would make a good post. Ok, a decent post...Ok, ok, I just really want to tell everyone about my dream, and since you can politely "walk away" without me knowing it, I'm posting it here.

I had the WORST nightmare last night.

By far the worst, baby
related/ something happening to Ally nightmare.

It started as one of those no matter how hard you try to hurry and get somewhere you end up further and further behind. Well we were all trying to get to work, and just couldn't seem to get there. Drove around, not getting any closer to work and ended up at my parents. John leaves for work, carrying Ally, and this being a dream, my mom and I stay home and decide to have a party. Its the middle of winter and we're having a grand ole time till John calls (late at night, maybe 11ish). I ask how Ally is and he says "What do you mean? She's with you".

I drop the phone and start running all over screaming for her with my heart in my throat. Screaming and screaming, racing through the house looking for her. Outside, screaming into the wind, in the dark. I don't know what made me look, but I went to my van (I don't even own a van) and sure enough, there's Ally (probably 6 months old), strapped into her car seat, almost frozen (DH had thought I was following them out and put her in the car - we do this every morning. We leave together and he puts her in her carseat in my car). Her face was a gray color and shiney, like it was getting frostbitten.


Hysterical screaming and crying, crying like I've never cried before.NEVER. My dad was trying to get her out of the seat, my mom screaming "Is she alive?". I grabbed her and ran inside. Thankfully John had her all wrapped up in blankets in the car, so most of her was still somewhat warm and she was still alive. My mom was warming formula for her, trying to get anything warm into her and I was just holding her, rocking and crying.

I woke up bawling and it took quite a while to stop, including 2 trips into her room to make sure she wasn't cold. I'm still shaken when I think of it.