floreksa. Get yours at

Monday, December 24, 2007

December Photo Project

Ugh, I have a real tough time taking a photo per day. I've tried my hand at the 365 project and failed. A bunch of times.

I'm not sure if I'll call this attempt a failure. Sure I missed a few days, but when you work full time, have a 3 year old and it gets dark at approximately 2pm, you do what you can do. There's only so many things I can creatively (or not so) photograph in my house.

Oh, yeah, throw in the plague on the entire household and you've got yourself a tough project. Tough, but fun. I'll definitely give it a go again next year.

December Day 24

Cookies!, originally uploaded by floreksa.

December Day 23

All packed and nowhere to go, originally uploaded by floreksa.

December Day 22

Freedom, originally uploaded by floreksa.

December Day 21

Cake Making, originally uploaded by floreksa.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

December Day 20

Ally Dentist 002, originally uploaded by floreksa.

Another crappy Treo shot, but my big girl had her 1st dentist visit and did GREAT!!!

She quite enjoyed sucking the spit out of her mouth.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

December Day 19

CHOCOLATE!, originally uploaded by floreksa.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

December Day 18

With the hair, STOP!, originally uploaded by floreksa.

Monday, December 17, 2007

December Day 17

Tree, originally uploaded by floreksa.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

December Day 16

Love&Kisses, originally uploaded by floreksa.

With Weather Like This...

In all honesty, there's only 1 reason for this:


and it's staying home to make this:



Batch 1 didn't make it to kick off. Batch 2 is in the works now.

Go Pats!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

December Day 15

Secret Santa 4, originally uploaded by floreksa.

My gift from my secret Santa. I can't wait until my ability to smell returns!

December Day 14

Ally, originally uploaded by floreksa.

I've fallen woefully behind. We've got the plague at the moment. All three of us. :(

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


Ally's sick, I'm sick, we're all sick. And I chose today to want a new design. So here it is. Totally uninspired. Sorry

Monday, December 10, 2007

December Day 10

Santa.JPG, originally uploaded by floreksa.

December Day 9

Photo Attempt.JPG, originally uploaded by floreksa.

December Day 8

Tree.JPG, originally uploaded by floreksa.

December Day 7

Jewerly.JPG, originally uploaded by floreksa.

Excuses, Excuses

I've fallen woefully behind on my Photo's of the Day. I promise to check up tonight. It will be the LaLaPaloza of photos tonight.

I've been overwhelmed with Christmas Card expectations, or more precisely, my lack of a Christmas Card this yr. I normally design my own. I use Photoshop.
The photoshop that is on my laptop. That's back at HP. Being repaired. For the 2nd time in a month.

I sucked it up. I bought Elements for the mac and after some REALLY ANNOYING installation issues, I was finally able to create this years card.

Happy Holidays!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

December Day 6

Christmas Moose.JPG, originally uploaded by floreksa.

December Photo Day 5

Snowman.JPG, originally uploaded by floreksa.

Getting on Down with her bad self

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Dec Photo Day 4

Life in the Fast Lane, originally uploaded by floreksa.

December Day 3 - My Desk

Desk, originally uploaded by floreksa.

Took this with my Treo, so absolutely no quality there, but figured I'd give a glimpse into where I spend my day surfing and blogging from. Oh, and, ya, working from.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Mermaid - December Photo Day 2

Mermaid, originally uploaded by floreksa.

Hmmm, Coincidence, I think not

Got a CRITICAL UPDATE from HP today. Looky, Looky:

HP Pavilion dv6000/dv9000 and Compaq Presario V6000 Series Notebook PCs - HP Limited Warranty Service Enhancement

HP has identified a hardware issue with certain HP Pavilion dv6000, HP Pavilion dv9000 and Compaq Presario V6000 series notebook PCs.
If you own an HP Pavilion dv6000, HP Pavilion dv9000 or Compaq Presario V6000 series computer that meets the product criteria listed below and experiences one or more of the symptoms listed below, contact HP to determine whether you are eligible for a free repair....

Guess who's laptop falls right smack in this "Enhancement"?

I hadn't updated our experience with HP yet. Been putting it off, gathering my thoughts.

DH after close to 2 weeks of pure, hellish misery actually got a "Case Manager" to not only call him back but actually AGREE with him that the treatment he had received thus far had been anything but stellar. He refunded our money and extended our warranty (score 1 for us, don't worry score is still like Us 1, HP =1236452537463).

Within 2 days we had a shipment box and approximately a week later we had our laptop back. All shiney and webby and doing all the things a laptop is supposed to do.

That is until this week. It decided it liked its Paperweight life so.much.more.

This time we've got nothing. Nada, not even a beep. The blue lights come on, but folks, no one is home. Its being packed right back up and shipped right on back most likely tomorrow. This repair only took 20 minutes on the phone. Of course the Rep on the phone at the end reminded DH he could have just gone to HP's support webpage to diagnose the problem. Apparently web surfing works different in India, cause here in the USA, it REQUIRES A WORKING COMPUTER.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Dec Photo Day 1

IMG_5963.JPG, originally uploaded by floreksa.

Ally was actually sitting still, so I couldn't pass up.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Kiss It

Round and round and round she goes. The poor linoleum, its never going to be the same. Thank god I hate it. You see, Ally got a Dora! bike for her birthday. Its the end of November, not exactly outdoor biking weather here in the land of the North. So I let her ride it in the kitchen.

She's been riding since we got home, until I heard a loud BANG.

"Ally are you ok?" - you can't exactly expect me to get up, put the laptop down and check.

She walks over, flips her dress up, bends over and tells me to "Kiss it".

Um, no?

Tuesday, November 06, 2007


"Mommy, is today my birfday?"

"No, honey, it was last Friday"

"Oh, is a-morrow my birfday?"


"Mommy, can I save my birfday till later?"

Monday, November 05, 2007

Hotel Low

I hate packing. I'm always terrified that I will forget something. Overlook some small detail, that when away from home will magnify and threaten your very existence. Normally I forget stupid stuff - deodorant, toothbrush. I always double check my pump supplies, though. I figure if I've got insulin, infusion sets, needles and my tester, I'm good. I can buy anything else.

This weekend, I checked and double checked everything, yet left probably the most important item. I never even packed it. Treatment for a low.

And low I went. At 1am. I had 1 juice box in my bag. It didn't cut it. I laid there, panicking, trying to figure out what to do. I couldn't formulate a plan. Instead my mind focused on all the food in my kitchen, at home. At the bag of Halloween candy that Ally amassed. I remember drifting off into that fantasy world, where I was eating and eating and eating.

Then I woke up again.

I tried ignoring the low. Maybe if I didn't acknowledge it, it would go away. Maybe I wasn't really low. Maybe I was just panicking at the thought of not having something to treat a real low. Maybe...Maybe...Maybe...

I was low though, and going lower. I suddenly remembered that the lobby sold candy bars. I just had to remember how to get there.

At close to 2 am (1am for the 2nd time?), I dragged myself down the hall, down the elevator and into the lobby and bought myself 2 candy bars. 1 to treat, and 1 for insurance.

I remember my sister asking me where I was going. I don't remember answering her. I don't remember going and I don't remember getting back. I know I went. I know I ate a King Sized Twix bar and bought a King Sized Snickers. I remember the panic.



Why, Oh WHY did I sign up again? Why do I have a husband that won't let me quit 4 days into it? Why? Why? Why?

I'm a glutton for punishment. I can't write. I hate reading descriptive writing, how the hell am I suppose to write?

My writing - its leaves a lot to the readers imagination.

"She climbed the stairs. Scared. Dead people" There, done - Fill in the rest. How does one write a zombie novel (oh for the love, I know, but its the easiest thing I could think of, back off...) without describing the zombies? They're dead right? You've seen the bazillion movies, picture it yourself. That doesn't work though. Doesn't really up that word count to 50,000.

And 50,000 folks, that's A LOT of words.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Hewlett Packard (HP) Can Suck My....

Holy ever lovin shit. I have never, NEVER seen DH as pissed as he was last night, 30 minutes AFTER hanging up the phone.

Our laptop you see. Not so much a laptop anymore. Its forgotten its purpose in life. It thinks it a paperweight that beeps. The video. Its gone. It gave up 4, yes 4 days after the warranty expired. Folks, this ain't right. The fix? A $400 dollar part. The laptop cost $600.

DH has been "talking" with HP (as much as one can hold a conversation with "Mike" from India) for a week straight now, trying to get something worked out with them. Cause seriously, if you're listening HP, 4 fucking days past the end of the warranty is BULL-SHIT. 4 days out of warranty makes me want to find Mr. HP, take my laptop, shove it up his ass and twist it.

Each phone call to HP requires 30 to 45 minutes of hold time. 20 minutes explaining the problem, 10 minutes of "please hold" time while whoever is on the other end jerks off, then a transfer of the call which inevitable ends with them hanging up on you. At which point, the entire process begins anew. DH has been doing this.

FINALLY yesterday, he was told (by 2 different Customer Care Representatives) if we purchased a $99 HP Extended Service Plan, a part of their "award winning Total Care" protection package AND a $20 Software protection Service Plan we could extend our warranty have this fixed. HP LIES.

They have our $99 right now. The $20 was never processed because after being transferred to that Dept (and subsequently hung up on), DH was told that the promise of help was a BIG FAT BULL SHIT LIE. The $99 "Award Winning" Extented Service Plan....That does not cover parts, which again is over $400. Its a "phone service" plan.

A "Supervisor" is suppose to call DH today. We're not holding our breath, since we're still waiting for the promised call from a week ago. It will be another 2 hours of phone calls tonight.

Its funny, talking with just 5 people this past week, I've come across 3 who have had their HP laptop die within a month of the end of the warranty period. What does that say to the average life expectancy of the parts HP uses to build their products?

Between this issue and the whole Vongo debacle, I will never, EVER again purchase a Hewlett Packard product. Never. Ever. Never. I'm 30. I'm a techno-geek. I'm the head of the IT department at my employment and purchase all computer hardware. There will never be an HP product purchased again. That my folks is a LONG LINE of missed sales opportunities now. Sure, what difference can I make....Maybe not alone. But I doubt I'm alone out there. Folks, if HP has screwed you over, please leave a comment. I'm just about the #1 hit for "removing Vongo", I'd love to be the #1 hit for all Hewlett Packard complaints. One day they will have to listen.

HP likes to announce that "The Computer is Personal Again". So fucking much for their Customer Service.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Trick or Treat, Throw it away

When I was little, I had a favorite song. At first it was Wicked Dots. "Wicked Dots, Wicked Dots, Wicked Dots all over the ceiling".

I realized on my own that wasn't correct. Silly me. It was, of course, Wicked Ants.

Hey, I'm from MA, everyone says "Wicked", right?

I can not adequately describe the anger I felt when my father explained it was not Wicked Dots, nor was it Wicked Ants, but in fact it was "We Can Dance".
A la Men Without Hats, "The Safety Dance".

Now, my daughter, she has much better taste in music. Granted, she goes for the odd Elmo CD or 2 or 1,000. Given a choice though, right now she chooses "her" song, Trick or Treat, Throw it away

Amazing taste. It is currently one of my favorites.

Although, my lyrics are somewhat different.

I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away.
I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away.
I bleed it out,
Digging deeper just to throw it away,
Just to throw it away,
Just to throw it away.

-----Linkin Park "Bleed it Out"

I'll never tell her, though. Never correct her. We will forever sing the song together.

"Trick or Treating, I throw it away,
I give it out,
Trick or Treating, I throw it away...."

Thursday, October 11, 2007


So let's see...

Ally woke up middle of night. Thankfully, she just wanted to pee and went back to sleep, but I still woke up and was pretty much up after that. Got up a little later and got a big jump on the day.

Later, DH gets Ally up, who proceeds to FLIP OUT that she "wants to go back nite-nights, wants her crib, no daddy no, I want to sleep". To the point that she keeps gagging because she has a cold and is all congested. I contemplated calling in because she was so upset, but she calmed down, at least a little, when I put Little Bear on.

We go to leave and she cracks her head on the car door. Screaming ensues again. More chocking and gagging.

Get almost to daycare when my cell phone rings. Its my sister. My sister has Wends off. She asks if I dropped Ally off yet. I say no. She asks if I talked to my mom yet. I say ya, this morning, why? She proceeds to FLIP OUT and all I can get through her hysterical crying is "dad" and "ambulance".

I spin the car around as fast as I can, and try calling my mom, as of right now, I have no idea what's going on. Of course at first I get the answering machine (which is my dad's voice) and start bawling thinking this is the last time I'll hear my dad's voice. I call work. Not sure if they understood what I told them, but I called in.

Tried my mom again. She answered hysterical and I just kept asking "Is dad breathing? Is dad breathing?" She's was doing nothing but crying. Thankfully by the 4th time I asked her she just yelled "He's not himself, he's incoherent, I can't understand what he's saying" then I hear her talking to the paramedic and she hangs up on me. least I know that dad's breathing. That's a start, I guess.

I call my sister back, all the while swearing at the traffic (trying, unsuccessfully not to freak Ally out). I want her to go over (she lives across the street) and see what the hell is going on, but she's useless with things like this. She's barely holding it together enough to feed her son breakfast.

I get to her house, right after the ambulance left. Thankfully her husband is a firefighter, and the Deputy brought him up to the call (even though a different station was the actual responders - the fire dept here is 1st response). So he lies to her and tells her Dad's not that bad. They think he's having a panic attack.

We pace around for a while when my mom FINALLY calls. A little back story. My dad, for almost 2 weeks now has been fighting the Norwalk Virus. On Monday, the Drs gave him a prescription for Compazine, apparently the worst drug ever made (go head and read the side effects. My dad had almost every one). The reaction basically looks like a person going through drug withdrawals. He was sweating profusely, gray, hallucinating, passing out, didn't know the day or at times who he was. His BP was through the roof.

They've got him on some medicine right now to get him through it. But they said its going to take a few days for the other med to get out of his system. What sucks is he can only take it every 6 hours and it wears out around 4 hours, and all the symptoms come back (hopefully each time a little less violently).

He said at one point last night, he looked up and saw stuffed animals hanging above him and couldn't figure out why my mom had hung them there. Then he realized that that wasn't right, they really weren't there, but he said that didn't make them go away.

BIL, later said he was pretty bad when he got there. He was on the floor, passing in and out, kind of convulsing. His BP was 180 over 100. Rambling on about weird things, covered in sweat. Not good.

Monday, October 01, 2007

One month shy of 3

...and I'm already ready to run screaming from the house never to return.

Who is this person and what have they done with my daughter? I don't know if I'm gonna survive 3. If this is three, can I just skip over to 4?

I've been home for 1 hour. One.Hour. She's spent over 1/2 of that in her crib. I don't want to use her crib as a place of punishment, but what does one do when your child flees the corner and locks herself in the bathroom? Oh, how she's gotten good at locking doors.

I set a timer for 3 minutes. Go in and ask if she's ready to listen. Her response "NO! YOU LISTEN" So I leave. She screams.

3 more minutes "Are you ready to listen?" "NO"

3 more minutes....and on and on and on we've gone. She made it out of her crib once, at around the 20 minute mark. Apparently her sole burning desire was to get out of the crib and throw her sippy cup at me.

Heaven help me.

Of course now, now when I'm full of rage, trying to calm my every last nerve, she's sitting next to me (freed by her father), holding her blankie, and giving me kisses.


Wednesday, September 19, 2007



Shhhhh!! We're Diaper Free!

This is a non-announcement. Its a whisper of sorts. A passing thought. This is NOT an announcement. I'm sure if I was to make an announcement the pee fairies will come and smite me with the puddles and the messes.

We have been accident free, diaper free since Friday night.

You didn't hear this from me though. OOoooh, no, no!! A passing birdy told you. Not me.

That birdy would also tell you how Friday, she was doing great. Until the 1st miss. We made it to the bathroom, but not the toilet. Then the second, which was less of a miss and more of a "Let's watch the puddle get bigger", and "BONUS mommy's crying - YES!".

Seems after that though, it all clicked. I send her to daycare and she comes home with the same pants on. We even braved a Costco trip. With the exception of tons of tears, we were dry, dry, dry.

My baby wears Big Girl Pants!! *sniff, sniff*

Wait, what am I thinking! Hip, Hip, Hooray!! What should I spend all that freed up cash on.....

Friday, September 14, 2007

Day Care Started It

I had given up on potty training. Whats a pull-up here? A diaper there, if it meant a clean house and one less living thing puking/peeing on my floors (don't get me started on the cats). It wasn't happening. Ally won, I was starting my email campaign to Pampers to create college sized pull-ups. I was done.

Day Care - Not so much.

She stripped Ally down, put on the last pair of underoos I had given her months ago, and let Ally have at it. Ally went almost all day diaper and accident free.

I wasn't ready to take this plunge. The carpet, its everywhere in our house. Day care forced me into this corner. The girl likes her princess underoos.

"Ally, do you need to go pee-pee?"
"how about now?"
"now?" I ask like an addict waiting for its methadone hit, carpet cleaner in one hand, bathroom door knob in the other.

We've already had a close call. Oh lord was it close.

Please let this work. The carpets can't handle anymore mystery stains.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Vanishing Friends

My life is almost completely lived on the internet. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed. As such most of the people that I would consider some of my "best" friends, I know solely online. They are a screen name and if I'm lucky a photo. Some I've been "talking" with for 5+ years. They know things about that no else does. We've celebrated, we've cried, we've always been there.

Having internet friends is an amazing facet of this digitized world. People I would have never met before are suddenly available 100% of the time. If I have a problem - I write it, post it, and suddenly I've got advise from people with different backgrounds, different perspectives, different attitudes. On the net, oil and water can mix.

Internet friendships have a very serious downfall though. People disappear with no way to track them down. You wonder, you worry, there's nothing you can do. There's no door to knock on, no phone to call. You're left wondering if something in the friendship went wrong. What did you say? What did you not say? Are they ok? Did something horrible happen? You may never know.

There's also times when you want to be able to reach out and hug a friend whose life has taken a horrible turn. To be there, to support them, to touch them. Words on a screen can never replace the power of a hug. Words are not enough at those times, yet that is what you are left with. "I'm sorry" looks empty, blank, vacant on the screen.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Randomnie Randomness

Thanks Catie!

The Rules: 1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts. 2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves. 3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules. (**if you’re a non-blogger, you can email them!) 4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. 5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1) I've always wanted a little brother.
2) I threw shot-put in high school.
3) I lived on campus at UMASS for approx 4 weeks before moving back home.
4) I started college as an Engineering Major and ended an Econ Major.
5) I can spend hours reading recipes, yet never make a single one.
6) I've never broken a bone.
7) I've always wanted a "real" blizzard to hit us. As in 4 feet of snow or more.
8) I'm finding myself very uninteresting right now (part of my blecky issues).

I don't know who to tag. I'm a party pooper. Drop me a line if you want to be tagged.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Blecky Blahs...

I've been suffering from the meanest case of the blahs lately. The house isn't selling. We're in a perpetual holding pattern. I haven't bothered to look at houses, since what's the use. The market is so horrible, I doubt ours will ever sell. No sense in drooling over what will never be.

I'm also suffering from "Everything we own is in fucking storage" syndrome.

Wanna make cinnamon buns? - sorry rolling pin's in storage

Make some nice pulled pork for sandwiches? - Crockpot = storage

Let Ally play with any of the 13 bazillion toys we bought her last yr. - no problemo!...after a short ride and an hour or two of searching through miscellaneous boxes.

"Ugh....Sigh...Blech" Its been my moto lately and I can't shake it. I hate when I get this way. I've tried new hobbies. They mess the house up, and oh, ya there's no where to store them, that doesn't make the house look cluttered, which makes selling the house that much more difficult. How is it OUR luck, that we decide to sell, gussy the house up, get it on the market and no lie, 2 weeks later, report after report after report are released outlining the dismal state of the housing market. Grrrrr-fucking-eat!

The monotonousness (is that a word?) of each day is getting to me. Wake, wash, dress, eat, work, home, cook, eat, bed, rinse, lather, repeat until I want to run screaming from the hills. I need to shake things up, but I have no idea how.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

My First Time

No, not THAT first time. Get your mind out of the gutter, people.

It was my first time actually driving into the city. Well, that's a lie. DH drove into the city. But we'd never actually driven in, ALL the way in. We parked at the Prudential Center.

It was my first time eating at Cheers.

It was my first time navigating the T, without a local friend with me.

It wasn't my first baseball game, but IT WAS MY FIRST GAME AT FENWAY!

It was an amazing night. My first Sox game, a NO HITTER. Ortiz hits a bases clearing (as in ALL of them) double. Youk hits a homerun. Buchholz throws a no hitter. The crowd was insane. Buchholz.throws.a.NO.HITTER.

A father and son were sitting next to me. The boy couldn't have been older than 8. His 1st game also. During the 1st inning dad said they'd leave at 9pm. It was a long ride home. After Ortiz's hit in the 4th, he said they'd leave before 10. By the 6th, when it was looking like a no hitter, Dad was just making sure he wasn't too tired and by the 9th he was hugging him trying to get him to understand the momentous history he was witnessing.

My throat is killing me. TV does NOT adequately express the volume of the stadium last night. 36,819 fans all screaming, clapping. Its loud. Its contagious. I'm not a "yell out loud" kind of person, but there I was in Section 8, row 5, seat 16 screaming my head off.

My first game. Wow.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Magic Forest or the Stuff of Nightmares

It has been a while since my last vacation. A LOOOOOOONG while. So when DH (who went and started his own little blog) suggested that we escape last weekend, I was on it like white on rice. I was a planning fool. So with itinerary in hand we set off for Lake George and Lake Placid.

1st Stop was Magic Forest - land of the cracked out statues. Like this:
8-17 to 8-19-2007 set2 067

and this

8-17 to 8-19-2007 set2 050

and this
8-17 to 8-19-2007 set2 066

and this

8-17 to 8-19-2007 set2 025

But there was also lots of this
8-17 to 8-19-2007 set2 023

and this

8-17 to 8-19-2007 set2 001

and this

8-17 to 8-19-2007 set2 006

If you can get past the Nightmare Before Christmas parts, its really a cute, family run, toddler-sized Amusement Park. The kids seriously aren't creeped out by the statues like you'd think they should be. Most actually thought they were hilarious.

The park itself reminded me of Mountain Park - an old amusement park that my parents met at and my grandmother used to take us to each summer. Old, but comforting - Full of charm and friendly people. Each operator was kind and friendly, helping the little ones off and on. Several even allowed A a double ride since no one was waiting.

Magic Forest is a great little treasure nestled in the Adirondacks. Its part of our American Culture, something we should work hard to preserve. Great Escape is right down the road, but somehow this park is hanging on. I hope it always can.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Change does a body good

I'm sick of my template. Its coming down. Might be a slow process as I'm heading out the door today, returning tomorrow.

My Dare-Devil

Toddler play structure? Are you insane? HELL NO!! Give her the chance to maim, maul and generally kill herself, and my daughter will choose it every.single.time.

Ally Park6

Ally Park7Ally Park8Ally Park3

Wednesday, July 25, 2007


When I was pregnant with A, I was constantly scared that something could go wrong. her cord would wrap around her neck and I would not know it. That because I could not hold her, could not see her, I would not be able to protect her. I longed for her birth day. If I could just hold her in my arms, I could protect her from everything.

I was so very, very wrong. The world is a scary place when your heart walks outside your body, away from you. And news like this does nothing to assuage my anxiety problems. This family's home was invaded by 2 paroled convicts at 3am. They were held hostage, the father brutally beaten, the mother strangled to death. The house was set on fire with the family inside and both daughters died of smoke inhalation.

The randomness of this crime is what terrifies me. How I wish that it would be discovered that the father had shady dealings, or even that he had hired them to assassinate his family. The deaths would be no less tragic, but the randomness would be removed. There would be a reason this happened to THIS family. I don't think this will be the case though. This was random, indiscriminate violence.

These poor girls, aged 11 and 17. They went to bed Monday night most likely thinking of swimming, mall trips and lazy days with friends. Their quiet, safe life, shattered in the middle of the night. Their lives taken from them after hours of terror. The parents. What horror did they witness? Full of knowledge that they could not save them, could not protect them. What is our job as parents, if not to protect our children from everything?

Home invasion has always been my number 1 fear. I do not fear my death. I do not fear public speaking. I was tested with this fear last fall when I returned home from work to find my house had been burglarized. The sanctuary that my home created was shattered. But I survived. No one was home when it happened, no one was hurt. I had THINGS stolen. Only THINGS. THINGS can be replaced, people cannot. It was random, but it was not violent.

The thought of someone randomly picking my house, the place where I should be safe from the outside world, entering it, while we are home and violently terrorizing my family, though, that fear I don't think I will ever be able to release. The thought that this could happen anywhere to anyone. This could have been my neighbor or a friend. This could have been ME. You can't protect yourself from it. You can't prepare yourself for it, so how do you live with it?

I try my best to not let my fear rule me. It is much more difficult this week.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Pottey Training


Seriously, why is it so freaking difficult???! I've tried to be the calm, cool, collective "It'll happen when she's ready" mom. I haven't forced it, I haven't pushed her into the gosh darn too cute under-roos. We bought her pull-ups, told her only big girls who use the potty get to wear them, and all was right in the world. She was using the potty. ALL.THE.TIME.

Now, not so much. No more peeing on the potty for her. Nada. Nothing. No way, Jose. I had read a tip to put undies on under the pull-up. Makes them feel wetter, gives them the satisfaction of wearing "big girl" pants, without all the puddles. I ended the day with 3 pairs of soaking wet princess pants. UGH!

Do I bite the bullet this weekend and just take the pull-ups away? God, we have a lot of carpet in our house. That just sounds like a recipe for disaster. Do I move her back into diapers and tell her that she can have the big girl pants when she starts using the potty all the time again? DO I do nothing and just keep telling myself that "No one goes off to college in pull ups?"...And then what the hell happens when we move? Am I doing all of this just to be faced with regression? Is it worth the battle right now? Should their even be a battle?

Parenting, its one insanely long exam, that's never graded and the text book is always on back-order. Don't even get me started about pre-school. Can you just say $11,000 ON TOP of daycare. Ok, I'm going to go hyperventilate under my desk for a minute.

Thursday, July 19, 2007


Scene: Car at gas station, rain and heavy fog.
Mom and child (a little over 2.5 years old)

Child: "Mommy - my window broke"
Mom: "No honey, it just has rain on it"
Child: "But I can't see"
Mom: "Because of the water"
Child: "No, I can't see after the water"
Mom: "Oh, that's because its foggy out"
Child: "foggy?"
Mom: "Yes, foggy, see how all the clouds are down with us?"
Child (said dead seriously and a little too grown-up): "Mommy, Let's Get Out of Here!"

Tuesday, July 17, 2007


So I received my shiny, new updated Cozmo pump last night. Grabbed the laptop, and proceed to swear A LOT.

1) CD tray which opens up whenever the hell it feels like it, possessed by unseen forces, open, close, open, close, open, close...REFUSED to open. Downright nasty about it. Rebooted 2x and had to use the special tool (aka paper clip) to force it open.

2) Computer then refused to recognize that there was now a disk in the drive. For 25 minutes. ya, fun. Then decided that what I had really wanted to do was invisibly launch the installer, over and over and over again. It was kind enough to tell me that I could only run one instance of the installer approximately a bazillion times. One.after.the.other.

3) Computer now toying with me. Mocking me. Dangerously tempting me to chuck it out the window. "Infrared port on the front? You want to use THAT? You're shitting me right? You can't use that? THAT'S only for the optional remote control!"...Cause ya, I need a remote to watch a movie on a freakin laptop.

My IR port, purchased specifically for this task of communicating my pump with my computer...That folks, is of course in storage. Not 1 but 2. Yes, I have 2 IR ports, BOTH.IN.STORAGE.

I'm pretty sure it was DH's love for me, but can't rule out his love of the laptop, which prompted him to get in the car, drive to storage (which I am told is probably the scariest place on earth after dark) and retrieve a port from me.

Total time I estimated would be required to program and "go live" with new pump : 1/2 hour, TOPS.

Actual total time required to "go live" : closer to 3.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007


A's had a fever now for about a day an a half. She's miserable. Motrin brings it down toot-sweet, but cracks her out for about 2 hours, then she crash and burns. We just dosed her up and put her to bed at close to 104°. sigh I'm guessing roseola, but gosh darn why can't the tell tale rash appear WITH the fever, instead of after?

Called the Nurse on call and was told to treat at home unless she shows signs of dehydration, if other symptoms appear or if the fever is still present on Thurs. So its a wait and see thing. I don't do well with "waiting" or "seeing". This momma bear needs to know what's up, and needs to knock this virus the hell out of her little cub!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Amtrack should rot in hell

You've got to be shitting me?!?! In what right mind is it ok to drop ANYBODY off in the middle of nowhere???!?! ESPECIALLY if you think they are drunk. These people should be killed. Seriously. I have no pity what-so-ever. What asses. I'm so angry right now, I know I'm not coherent....

Police: Diabetic Man Missing After Being Kicked Off Train

PHOENIX -- A 65-year-old St. Louis man is missing after Amtrak personnel, mistaking his diabetic shock for drunk and disorderly behavior, kicked him off a train in the middle of a national forest, according to police in Williams, Ariz.

# SURVEY: Did Amtrak Do The Right Thing?

Police said Roosevelt Sims was headed to Los Angeles but was asked to leave the train shortly before 10 p.m. Sunday at a railroad crossing five miles outside Williams.
Click here to find out more!

"He was let off in the middle of a national forest, which is about 800,000 acres of beautiful pine trees," Lt. Mike Graham said.

Police said there is no train station or running water at the crossing, which is about two miles from the nearest road, at an elevation of about 8,000 feet.

Amtrak personnel told police dispatchers that Sims was drunk and unruly.

The Sims family said Sims is diabetic and was going into shock.

Sims' brother, Brian Mason, said his family tried to call Sims on his cell phone that night, but Sims was incoherent.

When officers arrived at the crossing, police said, Sims ran into the woods, leaving his luggage and medication behind.

Cell phone records show that Sims' phone was last used in Litchfield Park, Ariz., 180 miles from Williams.

Williams police told CBS 5 that Amtrak has used the abandoned crossing as a drop-off site in the past. Graham said that whether drunk or not, no one should be dropped off there.

"You don't put anyone off in an area like that," Graham said.

Amtrak said the company is looking into the matter.

"I just want to find him," Mason said. "I'm not mad at anybody."

"I want to find a way to make sure he's OK," Mason added.

"Our thoughts and prayers are that there's no way he's out there in those woods," Graham said.

Monday, June 25, 2007


I was reminded today at the grocery store with A, that we are Nomads. We had finished a knock-down, drag out shopping trip. The kind that reminds you WHY you don't take a 2 year old shopping. Those trips where kind, grandfatherly looking men LAUGH when your sweet, adorable child decides to take her crocs off and throw them at you, all the while screaming "Help! Help! Help!". The kind of trip where your lips don't move, but you and your child can hear a guttural voice saying "When we get home......." (you can go ahead and fill in the blank....You know where it ends, and if you don't, then you obviously don't have a 2 year old)

Ya, that kind of trip.

After retrieving her crocs from the polar ends of the parking lot (that girl has an arm, thank god she's got no aim!), I opened the trunk to be greeted by ALL of our laundry. We had 2 showings and an open house last week. To make the 1st floor laundry/bathroom appear larger, we've taken to storing the dirty laundry in my trunk. Along with a boppy pillow, my duffel bag for weekend trips and an HD antenna. Eclectic, no?

Could be worse. DH drives around with a bright pink, Princess couch.

Ahhh, selling a house. Gotta hate it.

(If you've got an in with the gods of home sales, can you put in a good word for us?)

Friday, June 01, 2007

Manual Labor

We're almost ready. Almost.

Its been almost 6 weeks, but the end is in sight. We've taken 2 days of the past 2 weeks, working. The deck is clean, the house is clean, the yard is clean, the cellar is clean...

I'm exhausted. I can't move, but we're.almost.done.

House will be on the market hopefully next Wends. We're also looking into a new construction house 2 towns over. Fingers crossed. 1 acre, 1600sqft ranch.

Hopefully things will settle down and my desire to write will return. Right now I'm pretty sure its packed up and gone.


Monday, May 14, 2007

Hello!! Mr. Brown

I have never, EVER been so happy to see the brown UPS truck in my driveway, then I am right now. FINALLY, my quicksets are here. Its been a rough couple days in my neck of the woods.

I've been surviving off of soft-sets. It hasn't been pretty. I've cried, I've sworn, I considered going back to shots. I even broke down and used a comfort set. *shudder*

Friday I put in my last soft-set. UPS tracking software promised me a delivery by Monday. 3 whole days, this set had to last, 3 WHOLE days. 3 hot days, 3 sweaty nights. This wasn't promising. Saturday was great, not an issue in sight. Sunday, mmmmmm, not so much. Sugars creeping up, by Sunday night I was running a temp basal to account for the impaired absorption. Today...Total anarchy. 279, 303, 182, 367. Rage boluses shots galore. Swearing, bitching and oh ya a constantly buzzing pump to tell me its empty.


But now, oh heavenly UPS, I'm in the quickset way again!! I was so excited to get a new set started, there was no countdown, now serter phobia. That sucker get shoved in without thought. Fastest site change I've ever done, hands down.

Monday, May 07, 2007

A Change of Heart

I was a sof-set girl. For 6 years I was a sof-set girl. When we switched insurance back in December 2005, I decided to take a leap of faith and start using quick-sets.

I wasn't entirely found of them. I believe I cursed them, here and here. It took forever to get used to them. I liked the security of covering close to .75 sq/ft of skin in IV3000.

I've been a quickset girl for a year now. Until I got lazy, that is. I let my prescription and authorization slide on the quicksets. I waited until I used my last one before reordering. Now I'm stuck in limbo waiting for the stars to align and my refill to come through.

I'm using my sof-set stash and I.HATE.THEM. I've had 2 "fall out" so far. With all the IV3000, though, I haven't noticed until my teeth pulled on sweaters (yes I'm admitting my testing resolve has gone out the door). Today, I got the joy of inserting a comfort set again in the bathroom at work. Always makes for a great day.

Oh when, oh when will my quicksets come back?

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Hoping for a Nano


Enter for a chance to win a Nano iPod for Mother's Day.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Fat Rant - Joy Nash

I need her confidence, her beauty, her radiance. What an amazing attitude!

I try so hard to hide it...

What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?

You will sink in a mire. You like to think you're normal, but deep down you really just want to strip off your clothes and roll around in chicken fat.
Take this quiz!