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Friday, August 25, 2006

21 Months


You turned 21 months the day Daddy and I returned from Vegas. You stayed with your precious memere and oh, ya, that guy called Pepere. Ever since that weekend, every and I mean EVERY time we get in the car, the first thing out of your mouth is "MEM-mem?, MEM-mem?". A no response only leads to you changing your intonation, as if I didn't completely understand, and "Look it lady, I was being polite before, now I WANT mem-MEM!"


Your vocab has skyrocketed. I can no longer count your new words, although there is 1 word, I wish to remove from your mouth. You've learned the F-bomb. We've been pretty good about not saying it around you, but sadly, we didn't even think about all those comedies we thought you were just ignoring. You've latched onto that word and "oh, F*&^!" just flies out willy-nilly. It isn't pretty and mem-mem wasn't impressed.

Your new found facination is with the potty now. You LOVE sitting on the potty, flushing the potty, throwing paper into the potty, calling potty ever so lovingly ever 30 seconds...What you don't do is anything on the potty. No pee-pee, no poop. You just sit "Ayy-yee on potty! Ayy-yee on potty"..."Yes, Ally's on the potty, now how about we go pee-pee"..."NOOOoooooOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOOO". Right.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

MIA and WTF?

Ok, so I kindof fell off the face of the earth after last week's pre-Endo visit post.  Sorry about that.  Everything went swimmingly, I'm right on track with where I want to be and I left smiling (which I always do when I meet with her!).  As for why I went MIA.  No idea.  Haven't been very chatty-kathy lately.

For the WTF? - I love reading all the D-bloggers out that, but I've been noticing, there's an inordinately LARGE number of D bloggers within the NorthEast and more specifically right around the MA/CT/RI area.  Is D more prevalent here?  Are we just a more vocal, techie group?

Has anyone else noticed this? (and not sure what my profile says, but that area includes me).  I remember mentioning once to my Endo that I when I was dx'd I found out that there were 5 other kids with D at my high school (1 being a pretty good friend) and 1 more was dx'd a few weeks after me.  That's 7 kids out of probably 800.  Is it just me, or is that astronomically high?

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Endo visit

I've got an endo visit this afternoon.  I'm both excited and scared.  Excited because I absolutely LOVE my endo!!!!!  She is amazing, caring and takes tons of time with me (most visits last well over an hour with her).

Scared because since my latest battles with the dreaded Quicksets, I've been somewhat avoiding testing.

I don't handle highs very well.  I see them as tiny examples of how I'm failing and I.HATE.FAILING. 

Didn't help that I also ran out of strips at work yesterday morning.  Didn't see that the new ones had been delivered sometime last night, so there's a huge gaping hole for the past 24 hrs.

I'm also scared because I'm not sure what's going on with my depression.  Most days I really am OK, but then something comes along and I instantly spiral downwards, and that's what scares me, how quickly I can spiral.  The current spiral is over finances, or lack thereof.  I should be proud of DH and myself,  we chopped $110/month off of our expenses, and that was without feeling any pain.  Instead, I'm stuck focusing on what an utter failure I feel like since I apparently can't balance a checkbook any better then A could.  I'm afraid that I need my happy pills again.


I'm also excited because I'm working towards getting the go ahead to start trying to conceive again - which also scares me to the bone, and does not lend well to the current finance spiral of hell ;) and I see each appt as one step closer.

I didn't have a lab slip to get another A1C drawn, so I'll have to wait on that.  Hoping that I've pulled my act together enough to see a nice shiney, low 7.  Goal is 6.5 or lower by Nov.

I've printed out my charts (all 17 pages - yes I'm a little OCD about it), I've mentally prepared myself for the scale (that's a whole other post) and I'm getting quite excited.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Quickset Help!!!

I don't know what in the hell I'm doing wrong, but I'm going through Quicksets like their ice cream melting in the sun.

Seriously, I love these sets when they work. I love that they actually stick to me without 3 IV3000's stuck all over.

Lately though....geez. On Saturday I changed my site. I was unexplainably in the 300's so figured I'd change her out a day early.

1st attempt - sticker folded up inside the serter. Looked almost as if the sticker had a larger circumfrence then the serter. Took a while, along with a few swears to get it out. Along with a little mopping of blood from the needle skipping over my skin.

2nd attempt - Same.Fucking.Thing. Clean serter with some goo be gone. Stomach now looks like I got into it with Freddy Kruger.

3rd attempt - goes in fine. Rage bolus BIG TIME. NO regard for insulin on board or correction ratios. I dial in enough to sink Titanic. 2 hours later, I've dropped a whopping 15 points. Rip site out only to realize it was a gusher. Lovely.

4th attempt - good to go. Bottom out at 2am and again at 6am. Thankfully I planned ahead and had a banana waiting by my bed.

Fast forward to today.

I put in a new site about an hour before supper. Eat 1/2 what I was planning on, but had already bolused for full amount. Sit around and wait for the inevitable low. 3 hours later and I'm still waiting (and not testing like a freakin moron). Finally test...404..What.the.fuck! Pull site out and put new one in. Rage bolus with a vegence. 5 units in and I've got a blockage. Another gusher. Fan-fucking-tastic.

I've gone back to my softsets and again look like an IV patient gone mad with IV3000's. I'm too angry to try another quickset at the moment.

So....What am I doing wrong?!!!!!

One Happy Kid


Happy kid, small kid. Outfit she is wearing is 3-6 months. As of last Thursday she officially weighed 22lbs 1 oz (and yes, ounces still count!). She's on the 10% curve (YAY ALLY!), and 33.5 inches - 75% (boo on that one as it puts her weight to length off the curve at 1.5%).

We saw the GI last week. Thankfully her celiac panel came back normal this time. Unfortunately the GI told me it was her tTG test which had initially came back high. All this time I had been researching Anti - IgG (what he had told DH). So what does this mean? I have no clue.

The Anti-IgG is pretty specific to a gluten problem, but not so specific to celiac. The tTG, though, that's pretty darn specific to celiac, but from my research there's a pretty big debate as to its reliability in children under 2 (lots of false negatives).

So where does that leave us? Well the GI doesn't want to put her through an endoscopy right now. He figured that based off of the most recent tests he wouldn't even suspect celiac (A has no "outward" signs of the disease, she's just small). We're in a holding pattern. We continue to see the nutritionist and go back in 4 months.

The nutritionist is helpful, but honestly I could put a chocolate frosted, sugar bomb, gold encrusted unicorn in front of A and she'll either eat it, or the napkin sitting next to it. Seriously the kid eats what and when she wants and ain't no'body gonna tell her otherwise. We did find the wonder of strawberry milk this week. Previously A shunned milk of all colors and flavors, but lately, well she's taking a hankering to strawberry milk. Not a normal 2 yr old hankering for it (a GREAT day is still only about 8 oz), but compare that to her normal 1-2oz and heck that's a (1 carry the 2, divide by 3)...That's A LOT more. WAY BETTER.


Definitely an interesting story.

The debate of crying it out with your baby is slowly starting to brew on one of my Yahoo Groups and this recent story was posted.

If you read the article closely, most of these Drs. are talking about parents who try to "schedule" a young baby (under 6 months, but often even under 3 months) by using CIO. That's ridiculous and I personally consider those parent's insane, or at the very least lacking in parental "intelligence" (this statement coming from a certified conflict-a-phobe!). There is NO reason in my book to allow a child less than 3 months of age to CIO for "scheduling" purposes for any length of time. Babies create their own unique schedule and being a parent means adapting to that schedule.

I can't even count the number of times on different boards, I would read about a parent letting a child cry to the point that the child vomited or was going on 3 hours of all out, hyperventilating screaming in the belief that they were letting him CIO. WAIT, WHAT? Vomited??!! Um, hello! WAY past CIO, you're into abuse there, in my book! Or parent's of 6 week olds asking if it was time to CIO because their child still woke 2x a night. It’s these parents (and wacked out authors who promote scheduling very young children) that have changed the definition of CIO to these all or nothing terms.

I wonder how a person can be so insecure of their parenting that they
grasp onto CIO concepts such as these so blindly that they can't trust their own instincts. It’s these morons that give CIO such a horrible association. Parenting is all about common sense...People need to get some and use it!

I know plenty of people that would argue saying they followed this book or that book successfully, but almost always you'll hear "but I did this or that different because little Johnny needed or has x,y, &z"  THEN you didn't really follow this book or that!  You created a plan with aspects of a certain book, but USED COMMON PARENTING SENSE to direct you and your child (I still say your insane though if you let a very small child cry from hunger).  The problem is with those parents who apparently lack common sense.

My Ped recommends CIO, but only with certain parents. She has to feel out the "parenting level" of her patients, almost the parenting "intelligence".

She advocated CIO with us, only because she knew:
1.) Ally was 8 months old. She wasn't a 3 week old baby that we were CIO with because we wanted her on some pre-determined feeding or bizarre eat, play, sleep schedule. We just wanted A to go to sleep (at night) when we put her in her crib, knowing that she was clean, full, and TIRED.
2.) We wouldn't put Ally in a room, shut the door, walk away and that's it, never to walk in again until the morning (taking CIO absolutely literally).
3.) We were going to CIO using common sense, OUR OWN common sense. We weren’t following a book with rules that told us exactly what we had to do with no regard to our child’s temperament or personal schedule.
3.) We had lived through COLIC in which, to a degree allowing your child to cry, unattended is absolutely necessary to keep a parent sane and "in control". It is also the most difficult thing you can possibly do. Maybe that gave us another layer of understanding of both A's cries and the true heartbreak of listening to a child cry and not responding. +++ I do not define a parent who is at the end of their rope and NEEDS to put a crying child in a safe location and walk away for the child's safety, as letting a child Crying It Out +++

Like I said, when Ally was about 8 months old, DH and I decided to give CIO a try. At this point A had decided "bedtime,shmedtime, it was PARTY TIME!!" DH and I would stand outside her door, and listen to her cries. There was a definite difference between "GET BACK IN HERE MOM, THIS ISN'T GOING TO WORK" and "I really think I need to whine and cry a little to settle down and heck, maybe as a bonus they'll come get me". We responded immediately to the 1st, and more slowly to the 2nd. I can't comprehend how someone would willingly listen to the 1st and not respond immediately (or by 8 months not be able to tell the difference between the 2).

I really don’t know where I stand on CIO. Have I used it? Yes. Was it successful? Yes. Did I use it blindly following some authors book with clear cut rules and time schedules? NO.

I used CIO, but with common sense, a clear understanding of my child, and only when age and situation appropriate. Would I recommend CIO? Probably not. If a parent needs my opinion on the subject to decide whether or not to CIO, then they probably shouldn’t.

So why did I write all this? I don’t know.  I feel very strongly that CIO has its place, mainly for parents using common sense on when, why and how to use CIO.  But also that apparently, in this day and age, CIO is used for all the wrong reasons.

Friday, August 04, 2006

But I can see it from here.....

So Sat night we decided to go see the Freemont Experience in Old Vegas. We didn't make it down there the last time we had gone (wonder if my crying had anything to do with that?)...

Anyway, getting anywhere in Vegas is not exactly easy. Even going from hotel to hotel requires that one lace up their most comfortable pair of walking shoes, cause its a haul. In order to get to Freemont Street we had to:
1) Take the monorail or walk to the Excalibur
2) Take skywalk across to Tropicana
3) Take skywalk across to MGM Grand
4) Go through entire MGM Grand to the main monorail which runs behind the hotels
5) Take main monorail to the end (northbound to Saraha)
6) Walk through entire Sahara to get back out onto the Strip
7) Catch a bus to Freemont Street

Now, yes, I know we could've just taken a taxi, BUT there were 8 of us and DH and I were on an amazingly TIGHT budget of only $200 CASH. So this was the cheapest/quickest route there. (Also could've caught a bus from our hotel, but we'd still be sitting on that bus right now trying to make our way down the Strip).

Freemont Experience is amazing. And I love that there's so much, packed so close together in Old Vegas. Feels more like what I had initally thought Vegas was like - my vision was so very, very different then its reality - I was blown away that the strip is almost like the world's slowest 4-lane highway. I don't know what I thought, but it didn't involve tons and tons of cars driving between the hotels.

So anyway, we had a great time. Time to head back. We get the bus. Get near the Sahara stop and decide that we'll just ride the bus all the way back to the hotel. Traffic doesn't seem that bad...Famous last words. 45 minutes later and we're 2 hotels further down the strip.

Now we start the "What do you want to do?" game. You know "What do you want to do?" "I don't know, what do you want to do?". We decide to get off the bus. We're in between Treasure Island and Mirage.
"Oh, Look! I can see Mandalay Bay from here. Let's just walk"...
I knew this was a bad idea. Every cell in my body was screaming "No, No!! Get back on the bus! NOooooooOOOooooOOOOOO".

So we start walking, and walking and walking and walking....I don't know how far we actually walked, web claims the distance from Mirage to Luxor is a scant 1.6 miles "as the crow flies", but we sure as hell walked MORE then that. By the time we made it back to the Luxor, my jeans were soaking wet and stuck to me, I had no skin left on my ankle from my new sneakers rubbing and I was very, very close to tears again.

We were suppose to travel the Strip on Sunday, taking in the different hotels. We didn't.....

Thursday, August 03, 2006

And We're Back!

Well this trip went MUCH better then the last one (July 2004 when I was 7+ months pregnant)! Vegas is a totally different beast when you're pregnant. I wanted to run to each pregnant woman I saw there and beg that she just turn around and go home. Its not worth it!

Needless to say there were no tears on the Strip this time. Close, but none. Trip started off very rocky though. Apparently US Airways really wanted to see if they could make me cry.

We left the house at the ungodly hour of 3:30am (Anxeity level : Low). Dropped the car off and got to the airport for roughly 5am (Anxeity level : Medium). Flight left at 6:10am. Not bad., but wait..Why do our tickets say Pittsburg, we're suppose to be going to Philly. Oh well (Anxeity level : Medium-High) 6:05am rolls around and they still haven't started to board our flight. There's not even an agent at the counter of our gate. (Anxeity level : High). Suddenly - "Attention all passangers on flight 8473 to Pittsburg. There is a dead battery on the plane. We will have to rebook all of your flights" (Anxeity level: THROUGH.THE.ROOF)

Thankfully, she called the passengers with a final destination of Vegas to come up first. According to DH, I shot up there and those in my path were in imminent danger of getting bowled over. I got there first. Of course there was only one other group going on to Vegas, a family of 4 or so...

The agent starts: "well, I can get you on a flight to Charlotte that leaves at 11am" (great, that leaves another 5 hours to entertain ourself at the airport)
"then you'll leave Charlotte at 6pm, getting into Vegas at 7:58pm"
(WAIT!!! did she just say 7PM??? We were originally suppose to get there at 10AM...One whole day, fucking GONE - remain calm Sarah, in through the nose, out through the mouth, don't cry)
( Oh, GOD YES, please give us an OR)
"I can get you into Charlotte for 1pm with an arrival in Vegas at 10pm"
(How the fuck is THAT better??!!)
Me: "Um, we were suppose to get into Vegas at 10 - AM, so the earliest you can get us there would be the best" (annoyed beyond hell that I actually have to say that, but I was still very polite about it) Turn to DH "Thank god we didn't buy tickets for a show tonight!"
"Oh! Charlotte!"
( Yes, Charlotte! I don't even know what that means, but that OH was a pleasantly surprised sounding OH, so yes, please, lets do that!)
"Here are you're tickets, sorry for the delay"

We walk away, trying our hardest to figure out what we're gonna do with ourselves in the tiny gate for the next 6 hours, when DH looks down. "Wait, these tickets say we leave for Charlotte at 6:40am, then leave immediately from there for Vegas. We get into Vegas at 11am" HOLY SHIT! I LOVE that ticket agent!!!!! (Anxeity Level: below radar) I grab the tickets..."Um, honey...Um, we're flying to Charlotte 1st CLASS!!!!!!!!"

I admit it. I had the biggest, shit-ass grin on my face, sitting there in 1st class as all the peons boarded the plane heading to their tiny-ass seats in coach. DH kept reminding me that WE are one of those peons and would be heading back there very soon. Oh well...It was FUN!

Part 2 - But, I can see it from here.... coming soon.