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Friday, March 31, 2006

Dixie Girl?

This was a fun quiz!!! Are you a Yankee or a Rebel?

5% Dixie. You are as Yankee as they get!!

Damn straight!!! Born and raised in Western MA.

Anyone got a cure??

No not a D cure, although I wouldn't toss that to the curb....What I'm dying for, what I REALLY need, this immediate moment is a cure for the common cold. I am MISERABLE. Its been a week now. A week of being so congested my ears pop each time I swallow. A week of sounding as if my vocal cords have been shredded. I can't swallow, I can't breath, I can't hear. I'm coming very close to disappearing in an avalanche of used tissues (speaking of which, I just ran out. Great, back to TP). DayQuill isn't even touching it. This is ridiculous! I don't think I've ever had a cold this bad!! How long can it possibly last??????????????

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Fear of the Day

I am terrified, literally terrified of refridgerated tubes of biscuit dough. The sudden explosion with no warning, the audible POP. Terrified. I pretty much refuse to open them. If DH isn't home, we ain't having rolls! I might as well be holding a lit firecracker with no visible fuse, thats how scared I am.

Just another glimpse into my wacked-out mind~

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The Plague

This sucks. Either I've got round 2 of the plague from last week, or a brand-spanking new form of the plague.

I can't tell you how annoying this is. Can someone please pull my head out of the bucket of water its apparently in? What's that you say? No, seriously, what? I can't hear you. I can't hear anything but the ocean in my head. Maybe I'm turning into a hermit crab, kindof like how that guy turned into a giant cockroach in Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka.

Sleeping was 1,000 ways of fun last night. No tissues in the house, so I slept hugging my trusty roll of TP. Does a nose wonders! By the way, as a word of warning, the Kleenex antiviral tissues (stopped at the grocery store this morning), giving the TP a run of its money in the "slowly disintegrating the skin on my nose" contest.

Ally better not get this. She can't afford to get sick again. OH! I got her in with the Ped GI's. Appt's tomorrow. Talk about luck, I called right after a cancellation. If not, they were booking end of May/beginning of June.

Off to drug up. Serenity Now!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Random Photo of the Day

She's Just Too Cute (when she stops crying)

Hey Mom, Whatcha taken a Picture of?

Playing with my new, shiney flickr account. Figured what a better way to test it out, then with a funny picture of A.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Now this deserves my attention

Unwed Fathers Fight for Babies Placed for Adoption by Mothers By TAMAR LEWIN
Published: March 19, 2006

Now this, this is truly a worthy cause. Here are men, standing up wanting their children, children that they may have never known existed and here we are in the US just obliterating their rights.

In my book, the pendulum swings both ways. If a women is going to have sex, knowing full well that any baby she has will go up for adoption, then the burden of contacting all potential fathers before an adoption takes place should be be on her shoulders. Men should not have to register each and every time they have sex....How absurd is that?? And seriously, if you don't know who the father of your child is, you've got bigger emotional issues then the need for a quick adoption.

This burns me just as much, probably more, then the twit who wants the Supreme Court to release him of his "fatherly duties" because he didn't want the baby.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Stupid Quote of the Day

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President

Brought to you by the makers of TheraFlu, who, medically, has given me the ability to breath air without tiny, little daggers attacking my throat, but has fully taken away my ability to put a coherent thought together.

A has successfully brought the plague down on us. I was hoping to come up with some funny "and the heavens became hell and the sun stop shining, and trolls overtake the earth... but, ya, the brain power was not stringing that together this morning.

DH and I are sick, A's got another ear infection and she's lost weight. JC! I was hoping to crack that freakin 20lbs mark...Nope 19 lbs 7 ounces. We're now off the chart for weight...GRRRRRRRR!!! This child of mine went from 10lbs 4.8 oz at birth (and yes, my bs's were SPECTACULAR during pg - highest A1c was 6.4%, all others in the 5;s) which was off the charts at around 99%, to 19 lbs 7 ounces at just about 17 months, which put her off the bottom of the charts (somewhere around 2-3%). She still hasn't doubled her birth weight!!!!!!!!!

Wow, that's one meandering thought there! And I'm going to work today! LOL

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Just Great

You Are 18 Years Old

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

I'm a teenager again. I guess that explains the current breakout of acne and mood swings.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Say it with me....Sick Again!

A's got another cold and probably another ear infection. Daycare just called to inform me that her fever's back, she's crying and now is pulling on her left ear. Can't she catch a break? It seems like all she does is get sick. Its one of those "ironic" things that aren't really ironic, (hey if Alanis Morrisette can take that literary jump, so can I) that I have to put her in daycare so that I can work, yet the daycare itself makes her so sick, I can't work.

This motherhood thing really is a no-win situation. You're damned if you and damned if you don't.

We brought "she who cries a lot" to the mall the yesterday. We were going to bring her to the parade, but figured between her cold and the fact that neither one of us wanted to stand out in the butt-freezing cold, we wisely chose to push A's 1st parade off for another year. As a penance, we bought her a set of fridge magnets..a la Leap Frog.

This proved to be an endless source of fun for DH and I. How many sentences could we come up with using just each letter once. He had nice sentences like "John is calm", "Johns tired" (ok, no apostrophe, but hey I even gave him "John is kul").

Me, the only thing my demented head came up with was:
"John is a turd", then I expanded that lovely thought to "John is a flegmy turd"...Not at all spelled correctly, but had me laughing so hard, I almost fell on the floor.

And this man got me my battery last night!! Love, that's Love.

Some days I wonder....

Last night, my pumped beeped at me. That alone is not a strange event. The pump beeps at me all the time. The beep du jour was Low Battery. Roll over, scrounge through my nightstand drawer find a battery and a nickle...Beep, Beep, Beep...Low battery...What the F&ck!!! My nice, loving DH goes downstairs and finds me a new battery. While he was gone I got to thinking..."This is so weird". Here I am, in bed, awake, because a device that is PHYSICALLY ATTACHED to me, needs a battery. "Normal" people don't live like this...I can't even adequately describe how "abnormal" I suddenly felt. I felt like the Million Dollar Man, but in a bad way.

I had just finished watching an episode of the Soprano's, their life was more "normal" then mine.

I dunno, some days my head does some benders that send me spinning. Most days I don't even give my pump a second thought. Just last night, wow, it was weird ...or maybe I'm just weird.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Go, Go, Go-go-go

12.5 yrs, you'd think I could just push that little button....12.5 yrs, you'd think I wouldn't have to have a countdown in my head, 12.5 yrs....

I guess time does not heal the un-natural act of piercing ones skin. It never fails. Whether with a syringe or an infusion set, I ALWAYS have to have a countdown. Always.

3, 2, 1......Ok, ok,

Ok, this is it 3-2-1go-go-go-go-go

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Never Again

Never again, will I bring "She who cries a lot" with me to the dentist. I figured it would be a good way to introduce her...Ya right! She did her namesake proud. OMG, I've never heard her scream like that. The ENTIRE time. Top of her lungs, "I'm dying" screams and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't see her, I couldn't hold her, I couldn't even talk to her..

Iths obay ha-e aaa-ie ith rith heah....Ya not cutting it for her.

Receptionist tried stickers, books, songs - nada.

Dentist blamed it on "teething"...Um, no I think its the scary face masks and the fact that people are shoving their hands down mommy's throat. The freak out ended the second my cleaning was done. Dentist gave her a toothbrush, she smiled, said "kitty", shoved her nuby (paci) in her mouth and that was the end of it.

She was all smiles as we headed out the front door, and I'm pretty sure, as that door closed, I heard a small cheer from the office.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


I have to go to the dentist today. And, yes, I hate the dentist. The scraping, the buffing, the scraping, the cleaning, the scraping....Sends that shiver right up my spine. I'm not crazy about the thought of someone elses hand jammed in my mouth either. Glove or no, ewww.

Today, just to add to the misery, I have to take "She who cries a lot". This should be interesting. Hehe, maybe it'll make the cleaning go a tad bit faster. She's not gonna like sitting in her stroller the whole time. Gonna take A LOT of stickers for bribing, and I'm letting them supply the stickers ;).


Yup, yesterday - mid 50°'s

This morning - SNOW!

Gotta hate New England.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Tastes of Spring

This weekend it was in the mid 60°'s. It was amazing! We took A to her first park. She LOVED it! I've learned I have a little daredevil on my hands. No wussy baby slides for her! She only wanted to go down the biggest and fastest slides there. She'd skoosh her little butt right up to the edge, push off and throw her hands in the air like the most veteraned rollercoaster rider. Time after time she went down the slides with the biggest grin on her face.

It was so nice being outside. I've never been a fan of winter, and now being cooped up with a toddler, I hate it even more. These glimpses of spring are wonderful and horrible all rolled into one. Its amazing being outside, watching the everyone come out of their winter coccoon. Windows opening, fresh air in the house. Its horrible though, knowing the weather isn't here to stay, and winter is ready to pounce at any moment.

Tomorrow is that moment. Mid 50°'s today, low 30°'s tomorrow....sigh.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Be a Man!

Men's Rights Group Eyes Child Support Stay

This pisses me off to NO end. I mean, full on shaking, want to scream and holler at this guy. Not because he wants "equal" rights. I won't even get into those politics.

What REALLY pisses me off, is that this poor, innocent, little girl will grow up knowing her father doesn't want her and is willing to go to the Supreme Court to prove how much he doesn't want her. What will that do to this girl's self-esteem as she grows? I couldn't imagine growing up with that knowledge.

I don't care if you're male or female....You do the horizontal mambo and you best be prepared to love and care for whatever happens 9 months later.

Feel Naked

I forgot my pocketbook at home today. I can't count the number of times I've been forgetting stuff at home lately. Last week alone I think I successfully got my lunch from the kitchen table to work 1x. One measly time. I made my lunch every morning, lovingly put it on the table, then promptly walked right out the door without.

This morning, I was overly concerned about not forgetting my egg salad. I kept reminding myself, "Don't forget the egg salad, don't forget the egg salad..." I didn't forget it. Left that pocketbook right there on the table though.

Thankfully, I haven't removed the tester from my Cozmo yet (score 1 for procrastination!) and I've got some Freestyle strips here, so I'm good on that end.

Bad news, I've got a mother of a headache, need caffeine and have NO $$.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Article about the Transplant

Newspaper Article About Transplant

A little annoyed that they didn't mention John or SIL (seeing as how they are family too), but all-in-all a good article.

Door Licking Cat


Not a nice noise to wake up to at 2am. It can only mean 1 thing. The damn cat is licking the damn door again. Once she gets going there's no stopping her. The only thing worse is when she finds a plastic bag to lick. ARGH! In my best, most authoratative voice, I scream (quietly - can't wake "She who cries a lot") "Knock it off cat or I will flambe you!".


Where the hell did that come from? Not punt you, not drop kick you, not toss you down the stairs (ok, before PETA comes a calling, I do not do those things to my cats - although I do picture it in my head!).
This had zero effect on her. First off, she has not clue what flambe means. She probably figured I was going to give her treats. And secondly, I called her cat, not Trinity. That, in her demented mind, left the possibility that I was talking to the other 2 cats, who might be licking doors....somewhere on the couch....downstairs.....sleeping.






Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Scary Thoughts

I need to learn not to google things!

Last night I was playing on the computer and came across something about Julia Roberts and Retts Syndrome (if you don't know what it is, DON'T google it!). Ya, I googled and then got sick to my stomach. Not so much that I was worried that Ally had it, or would get it, but the realization hit me that nothing is guaranteed in life. The thought that something/anything could happen to Ally absolutely paralyzed me.

I wondered if this was how my parents felt when I was diagnosed. I feel like I took my dx quite well, almost matter-of-factly in an "Ok, so now what?" sort of fashion. I never considered what my parents went through. I can't even imagine...

FIL is coming home!

Phone rings...Phone ringing at 6:15am is never a good sign.

Luckily, this time it was. FIL called. He had already gone for 2 walks, packed his bags, laid out his clothes, razor and towels for a shower and was wondering when DH would be there to get him.

Its amazing how great he sounds. He even admitted that he feels like he's on nos or something. He's just now realizing how sick he must've been.

He should be home sometime this afternoon!

Sunday, March 05, 2006

BIL is Home!!!

Got released this morning. I'm sure it was quite a long ride home (its about 1.5 hrs). Couldn't imagine doing it while in pain!

FIL should be released Mon or Tues. Drs said that if he's rejection med levels were correct he could've gone home today too!!!!! A little more tinkering and he should be good to go.

Its amazing to see how well he is. And his color...O-M-G!!!! He used to look gray with an underlying yellow color, now he's all perky and pink and healthy looking. Its just amazing.

Ok, "Little Miss Cries A Lot" is squirming in her highchair.

Friday, March 03, 2006

pssst, Hey you! Want some sugar?

"You are so much more than the sum of your sugars...." - ArtSweet

I found this quote this morning, and it means soooooooo much to me. It's amazing how I attach who I am, with what the meter says. So much so, that I purposely don't test if I know it will be high. I cannot look at a high reading on the meter without equating it as somehow a failure of who I am as a person. Why do I do that?

I know my identity is in no way, shape or form, linked to my diabetes. I am Sarah, and I have diabetes, but I am NOT diabetes. Yet, that meter can make or break my day. One little display, which spits out a number in 5 seconds can literally make or break me.

I need to detach myself. 12.5 yrs and you'd think I know that those numbers have a mind of their own. I could be the model citizen of diabetes, and the numbers decide that I'm actually the drug dealer on the corner handing lollipops out in the land of D.

Its My Own Damn Fault

Tired, I am so very, very tired!!! I haven't slept it seems since last Friday. I thought Tues, night I would FINALLY get a good nights sleep, knowing that FIL bleed was under control and that they were both doing well. Did I sleep?? NO! Why - cause I'm a freakin idiot!

My stupid site stopped working so I spent the night peeing every 40 minutes. Why didn't I just get up, change the site and go back to bed?? That's what a sane person would do, but apparently I am not a sane a person in the middle of the night. I fight it. I get beligerant and stubborn. It annoys the hell out of me. It takes all of 10 minutes to change a site, drop a bolus and go back to bed. Instead I stay in bed, AWAKE pretending I don't have to pee. I'm a freaking moron!

Tonight was better, but Twinkle Toes decided on a 5am wake-up call today. 5am was not part of my plan. I was actually planning on sleeping in and going to work at a "normal" hour. (I've been going in for 7-7:30am to at least pretend that I'm working 40 hr weeks right now).

Of course, with all the stress right now, my sugars have been WACKED OUT! I was 366 this morning 8O (that's my eyes popping out of my head!). Ugh.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Back to Lahey

We're off to visit BIL and FIL. Hoping to get some great quality time in with them both. According to our updates from SIL, they are both up and walking a bit. YAY

16 Months Old

Hey Ally. You turn 16 months today. Where has the time gone?? This past month has been a trying one all around. You won't remember, but pretty much as soon as you turned 15 months, you became quite the terror. You cried A LOT, you whined A LOT, you really, really perfected your temper tantrums (if I can ignore the screaming, its actually really funny watching you buck yourself around the livingroom on your back).

You also won't remember your Grampy and your favorite Uncle being in the hospital. Right before you turned 16 glorious months, your Uncle shared his liver with Grampy in what called a Live Liver Donation. It is really an amazing gift. Mommy and Daddy are sorry that they had to drag you all over creation the last few days, but you had some fun playing with your cousin.

We learned that you HATE, with a passion, H-A-T-E snow. It took Mommy over 20 minutes to bundle you all up, and we spent all of 5 minutes outside...and yes, Mommy's a tad colorblind. I was going for function over fashion.

You're such a big girl now. I can't believe how different you from a year ago. You can say "Momma", "Dadda", "Cat", "Dog", "Done", "Ya", "Keyes", you said "Miffy" last night and so many others that I'm forgetting right now. You understand just about everything we say to you and LOVE being read to.
Oh, The Wonderful Sounds Mr Brown Can DO was your absolute favorite. Mommy can recite my heart now, but Belly Buttons is quickly becoming your new favorite.

You've also grown enough hair that you can FINALLY put some up into a cute little pony-tail at the top of your head. You haven't kept it in long enough for Mommy to snap a picture, though.

Mommy and Daddy Love you!

P.S. - Mommy got the idea for this post from Sorry she didn't think to do this sooner.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

T1 Diabetes

I'm constantly amazed at how I'm interested when I find out someone else has diabetes. Its like I'm meeting another member of some secret cult that a select few have joined.

I found out today that Elliot Yamin and Kevin Covais - 2 of the contestants on American Idol this yr are both diabetics. Elliot wears an insulin pump. I find this INCREDIBLY interesting and find myself routing for them regardless of their talent.

My DH thinks I'm off my rocker when stuff like this interests me, but seeing other people (whether I know them or not) who have this disease and know the ins and outs / ups and downs like I do, makes me feel less alone. I dunno, maybe you need to have it to understand....

Uhhh, ya...

You Are Boston

Both modern and old school, you never forget your roots.
Well educated and a little snobby, you demand the best.
And quite frankly, you think you are the best.

Famous people from the Boston area: Conan O'Brien, Ben Affleck, New Kids on the Block

Found the link to this cute little quiz here
Snazzy blog about T1.

The Bleed has stopped!!

Such a huge relief has been lifted. We just got word that the internal bleed in FIL has been stopped by the platelets and drugs. They'll test him again in a few hours, but its looking like we've cleared this hurdle.

Ok, I think I've taken my first real breath in days! Now lets see if I actually sleep tonight! Can't wait to see them both tomorrow. I've been part of DH's family for just about 12 years now and it truly feels as if its my father and brother there.

Drama..Too much drama

FIL has developed a bleed. We kindof saw the writing on the wall yesterday when he had to have 2 bags of blood for unknown reasons. Our fears were confirmed last night, after we got home. They gave him platelets throughout the night, hoping that it would "clog up the bleed". Unfortunately, last night we didn't know where the bleed was. I spent the night sick to my stomach that it was heading to the liver and that the new liver was getting starved of blood.

They found the source this morning. A small vessel that leads nowhere now, apparently wasn't closed completely. The liver is fine. The platelets slowed the bleed some, but hasn't stopped it. They are giving him more this morning along with some drugs hoping to slow it even more. If it does slow, they will continue that course of treatment. If it doesn't, he'll most likely go back into surgery to close it off.

I just keep telling myself that if he's still in his normal hospital room and not back in the ICU, then obviously its not that horrible. That's my mantra and I'm sticking to it!

I need sleep.....