Honey, now really, can't you PLEASE give mommy and daddy a break. I hate that you can't tell me whats wrong, so instead you proceed to scream for hours and hours and hours and hours...The Drs say you aren't sick, so what's wrong??
Mommy's brain is still recovering from last weeks 4am wake-up call, and is still hallucinating bugs. I can't take the screaming anymore!! And while we're being honest, WHY IN THE HELL ARE YOU SUDDENLY HITTING???!!! Where did you pick that lovely habit up? Its not funny, its not nice, and right now mommy doesn't know how to stop it, so its making me feel like I'm failing you.
Anyway back to the screaming...I'm beginning to wonder if you just find being miserable for miserable's sake fun. Really, there's no reason to your madness. You could be throwing the mother of all fits, to the point where I'm dialing the Ped's thinking you've got some horrible disease, I put you in the tub, and BAM you're all smiles....Take you out and that horrible, sadistic alter ego of yours comes back. Listen close honey...YOU CAN'T LIVE IN THE TUB!! Especially when you won't let me wash your hair while you're in there anyways...
Ok, its 7:45pm, you're still wide awake in your crib..I can hear you playing (dear god, thank the sweet lord, that at least you aren't screaming). Anyway, mommy's exhausted and she's going to bed...That's right mommy's going to bed before Jeapordy is even over...Honey, I'm 29, not 92, please stop making me feel like 92