floreksa. Get yours at

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Grading the Mom

I often obsess wonder if I am somehow failing A in our "teaching" of her.

Should I be buying DVD's that claim to have her reading by 3? Should I be worried that every color is purple right now and ABC's and counting to 5 only occur if she's repeating what I say? That I'm not even sure if she has the concept of shapes, never mind the names? That she prefers a good, cuddle-time "rocka" (rocking) to a bedtime story and that I oblige her with it. Should I really be forcing the 1 millionth reiteration of Good Night Moon instead?

Each day I read posts by mom's who guise their brags in the form of an "Is this normal?" post.
My child can draw circles, squares and elephants,recite the alphabet, knows all his colors in English, Spanish and French, including chartreuse. He's 14 months old. Is this normal?"

Well, crap if it is, then my daughter is destined to be featured on Dirty Jobs.

Am I missing something, here? My daughter plays, says "No" relentlessly often and picks her nose. She chases the cats and purposely falls off the couch. She hits herself, then asks for a kiss for the boo-boo. She cooks with every piece of Tupperware I own and eats "doc ducks" (hot dogs). She colors, sometimes even in her coloring books, and cares for her baby's by stealing all of their "dubbys"(pacifiers)for her own personal use.

Should I be grilling my daughter each night after work with flashcards and electric shocks? Isn't Sesame Street enough? Cause really, if I'm watching all this Elmo for no reason, I'm turning Mr. and Mrs. Smith back on. There's a life lesson for A. Women can be beautiful, rich AND hired assassins, just like men.

Honestly its the bigger concepts we're trying to teach A. Things like emptying the dishwasher and washing the car. Laundry will have to wait until she's a little taller older. These are the important lessons. Cause really, why have children if not for the free labor?


Bernard said...

Don't do anything different.

Show her that you love her. Expose her to as many things in this wonderful world as possible (fireflies, lying outside on your back on a clear starry night, how silly chickens look when they run, the beauty of fish, etc., hugs first thing in the morning, live music, and so on), make sure she has plenty of art materials around so that she can learn to draw early in life, read her stories over and over again.

The rest will work itself out.

Two years from now, you're going to miss the simplicity of a 3-year old!

MileMasterSarah said...

I have a six year old and three year old. I have to say that I believe I can only do as much as I can do and that as it. As far as the free labor, with my son, getting him to do chores is a chore in and of itself!

julia said...

Don't, don't, don't start cramming learning down her throat. She'll get plenty of that once she starts school.

I don't push anything with Boo. I count the stairs as she goes up or down. I sometimes remember to talk about the black cow or the brown horse, but not always. She'll learn it sooner or later. I let her watch Sesame Street, but I don't buy einstein videos or anything like that.

Kassie said...

Well, you know, I've always believed that enforcing a rigid schedule from the very start, one that addresses your needs and ensures that baby doesn't disrupt your day... oops, sorry, I was channeling there for a minute :)

This is a great post. I smiled and chuckled my way through it! I get this way occasionally, but most of the time I'm not too worried about my kids' progress. I'd much rather cuddle than quiz any day!

floreksa said...

Oh, great...Thanks Kassie...Now I'm going to fall out of my chair laughing at inopportune times thinking about what you just wrote!

Kassie said...

There is NEVER, in my ever so humble opinion, an inappopriate time to fall out of one's chair laughing.

Except maybe at the gynecologist's office...

Brian said...

Found your site by way of your husband. Very happy I did.

Most parents who say their wee ones can perform impossible feats are lying. By the way, I'm actually dictating this comment to my twin toddlers. They can type 50 words per minute. Is that normal?

Stephanie said...

That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. THANK YOU for letting me read that. And Brian, your post about your twins is hysterical, too!