I've decided that I'm ready for #2. Yup, just this morning, no input from DH (oh, hey, if you're reading honey, "I'm ready for #2"!).
So you say (as long as your not my DH, who's probably saying something more along the lines of "huh?, who?, what? HUH?")..."Hey Sarah, that's great!, So your bgs must be running great, you've gotten back down to your old pre-preg weight?" and there-in lies the problem...That would be big, fat, honkin NO and NO.
This presents a problem, cause I'm talking, I'm ready NOW, not 6 months from now, but now, as in N-O-W, NOW!
I had wanted A and mystery child #2 to be about 18 months apart. That plan was blown out of the water by a nasty little thing known as PPD. I'm better now, though and either high on life, or brain-damaged enough to want to risk going through that again.
That and colic. There's a part of my brain that remembers colic, remembers it being horrible, wanting to run, screaming from the house each night as the clock struck 5pm. There's the rest of my brain, though, that looks at all the little clothes, the baby shows, the way newborns look like turkeys with their legs perpetually tucked under them and I AM SO READY FOR A TURKEY again!
Friday, July 14, 2006
Sunday, July 09, 2006
BTDT lesson of the day.....
Don't take a 20 month old to the Drive-In. Its not pretty.
It actually wasn't that bad, although DH would probably differ with me on that one. We took her, because 1) We wouldn't be getting home until probably around 1am, 2) we couldn't get anyone to watch her till 1am and 3) We figured she'd sleep the entire time.
So we were very, very wrong on #3. Got into Northfield about 7:30pm - A's bedtime(1st movie Cars was suppose to start at 8:35 pm) and promptly stopped in the longest line of cars I've ever seen. I was concerned before we left that we wouldn't be able to get in, but when I saw that line, hopes GONE. 4 trips into the backseat to retrieve a lost pacifier (finally found in.her.lap) and 1 hour, 25 minutes later we find ourselves 6 cars from the entrance...That's when the cop showed up, pulled in, pulled out, drove a few cars past us and proceeded to loud-speaker to the traffic jam that the Drive-In was at capacity. Thankfully, we were lucky enough to get in, along with about 5 or 10 cars behind us. Got a wonderful backrow parking space with a very odd angle, but could see the screen so all wasn't lost.
Unfortunately, plan A of our trip was already out the window, A was WIDE AWAKE!! Out of her car seat and into the front with me. That's when I noticed it was 9pm and the 1st movie STILL hadn't started. I started appeasing my 20 month old with Doritos and Crystal Light (hey, its a special occasion, right?). I'm getting worried though. Cars - approx 2 hours, Pirates of the Carribean - approx 2 hours....9:15pm plus 2 hours, plus 2 hours, plus at least another hour home = WAAAYY past my bedtime. It was also at this point, that A decided she wanted some of my lemonade and grabs it while I was drinking. I'm now DRENCHED in sticky lemonade and the movie hasn't even started. Wonder-f'in-tastic!
Cars starts, A is completely oblivious to it, although is finding great amusment in playing with the volume control in the car. Fine, whatever, she's quiet. 10pm rolls around. She.Needs.To.Go.To.Sleep, but yes, we've lost the pacifier again, and sleep does not happen without it. Another 30 minute search of the car, at least not in traffic, but now in the dark....FOUND IT! In the dorito bag, of course. Strap her in her seat, plug her, hand her every imaginable blanket and she's finally out like a light. Finish watching cars, everything is great.
Onto movie #2 Pirates....A wakes up approx 2 seconds into it. Replug her, tell her its "Nite-nites" and she's falls back asleep. Awake again 10 minutes later, replug, back asleep (repeat 3 or 4 times). She finally wakes, tosses her pacifier and cries. Another 15 minute search of the car, in the dark (how can 1 stupid little thing disappear so quickly, and note to self STASH 100 pacifiers in the car!). Repluging doesn't help, we've missed so much of the movie we're completely lost, and the movie itself really doesn't seem that good, not as light-hearted, much, much darker.
It's 1am, the movie is only 1/2 over, and we're still an hour from home. We throw in the towel. Get home at 2am. We'll catch the rest, on video, in our house, where A's crib is, and the world's largest supply of pacifiers.
It actually wasn't that bad, although DH would probably differ with me on that one. We took her, because 1) We wouldn't be getting home until probably around 1am, 2) we couldn't get anyone to watch her till 1am and 3) We figured she'd sleep the entire time.
So we were very, very wrong on #3. Got into Northfield about 7:30pm - A's bedtime(1st movie Cars was suppose to start at 8:35 pm) and promptly stopped in the longest line of cars I've ever seen. I was concerned before we left that we wouldn't be able to get in, but when I saw that line, hopes GONE. 4 trips into the backseat to retrieve a lost pacifier (finally found in.her.lap) and 1 hour, 25 minutes later we find ourselves 6 cars from the entrance...That's when the cop showed up, pulled in, pulled out, drove a few cars past us and proceeded to loud-speaker to the traffic jam that the Drive-In was at capacity. Thankfully, we were lucky enough to get in, along with about 5 or 10 cars behind us. Got a wonderful backrow parking space with a very odd angle, but could see the screen so all wasn't lost.
Unfortunately, plan A of our trip was already out the window, A was WIDE AWAKE!! Out of her car seat and into the front with me. That's when I noticed it was 9pm and the 1st movie STILL hadn't started. I started appeasing my 20 month old with Doritos and Crystal Light (hey, its a special occasion, right?). I'm getting worried though. Cars - approx 2 hours, Pirates of the Carribean - approx 2 hours....9:15pm plus 2 hours, plus 2 hours, plus at least another hour home = WAAAYY past my bedtime. It was also at this point, that A decided she wanted some of my lemonade and grabs it while I was drinking. I'm now DRENCHED in sticky lemonade and the movie hasn't even started. Wonder-f'in-tastic!
Cars starts, A is completely oblivious to it, although is finding great amusment in playing with the volume control in the car. Fine, whatever, she's quiet. 10pm rolls around. She.Needs.To.Go.To.Sleep, but yes, we've lost the pacifier again, and sleep does not happen without it. Another 30 minute search of the car, at least not in traffic, but now in the dark....FOUND IT! In the dorito bag, of course. Strap her in her seat, plug her, hand her every imaginable blanket and she's finally out like a light. Finish watching cars, everything is great.
Onto movie #2 Pirates....A wakes up approx 2 seconds into it. Replug her, tell her its "Nite-nites" and she's falls back asleep. Awake again 10 minutes later, replug, back asleep (repeat 3 or 4 times). She finally wakes, tosses her pacifier and cries. Another 15 minute search of the car, in the dark (how can 1 stupid little thing disappear so quickly, and note to self STASH 100 pacifiers in the car!). Repluging doesn't help, we've missed so much of the movie we're completely lost, and the movie itself really doesn't seem that good, not as light-hearted, much, much darker.
It's 1am, the movie is only 1/2 over, and we're still an hour from home. We throw in the towel. Get home at 2am. We'll catch the rest, on video, in our house, where A's crib is, and the world's largest supply of pacifiers.
Friday, July 07, 2006
20 Months Old
20 months!! 20 Months!!! Where has the time gone? That's ALL of your fingers AND your toes. You can't be 20 months...Mommy's not ready.
And horror of all horrors, on the day you turned 20 months no less, you learned the dreaded word. The word mommy and daddy prayed you wouldn't learn (well at least until you turned 35 and started dating). You said "No"! And "No!" with flair. You mastered the toddler fleeing in anger, "NoOOOOoooooooOOOOOoooooOOOo!" trailing in the wind. You said it 4 times that day.
You also say "buy u", which took me until yesterday to realize that you were saying "Love you!" (as you can hear).
Mommy's on vacation with you this week and IS NOT HAPPY that she's gotta go back to work. Wonder if I can win the lottery without actually playing the lottery. You're just too cute to leave.
You're stringing 2 words together right now, and let me tell you, Daddy LOVED it when you said "bye dada" last night. You also said "ankin uh-oh" yesterday after Franklin said it on TV. Mommy takes back her hatred of Franklin too. He's growing on me, and you apparently LOVE him. Just please don't decide to fall in love with Oobie. I will have to destroy Daddy's tv if that happens.
I watched your birthday video this morning and cried my eyes out. I can't believe its been almost 2 years now. You've changed sooo much, yet so many of your faces have remained the same since birth.
I love you sooooo much!!
And horror of all horrors, on the day you turned 20 months no less, you learned the dreaded word. The word mommy and daddy prayed you wouldn't learn (well at least until you turned 35 and started dating). You said "No"! And "No!" with flair. You mastered the toddler fleeing in anger, "NoOOOOoooooooOOOOOoooooOOOo!" trailing in the wind. You said it 4 times that day.
You also say "buy u", which took me until yesterday to realize that you were saying "Love you!" (as you can hear).
Mommy's on vacation with you this week and IS NOT HAPPY that she's gotta go back to work. Wonder if I can win the lottery without actually playing the lottery. You're just too cute to leave.
You're stringing 2 words together right now, and let me tell you, Daddy LOVED it when you said "bye dada" last night. You also said "ankin uh-oh" yesterday after Franklin said it on TV. Mommy takes back her hatred of Franklin too. He's growing on me, and you apparently LOVE him. Just please don't decide to fall in love with Oobie. I will have to destroy Daddy's tv if that happens.
I watched your birthday video this morning and cried my eyes out. I can't believe its been almost 2 years now. You've changed sooo much, yet so many of your faces have remained the same since birth.
I love you sooooo much!!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Extended Test
Well I did a 2.5hr extended (not combo) bolus at lunch.
Lunch - 192
2 hrs - 91
4 hours - 141.....better.
Guess we'll just keep playing. On deck for tomorrow at breakfast:
Combo bolus - 35% upfront, rest spread over 3 hrs.
Lunch - 192
2 hrs - 91
4 hours - 141.....better.
Guess we'll just keep playing. On deck for tomorrow at breakfast:
Combo bolus - 35% upfront, rest spread over 3 hrs.
Combination, Extended, Regular - OH MY!
Grrr...
I'm still trying to get a hang of bolusing with Symlin. I can't do a regular bolus, or I crash and burn minutes after eating. So right now, I'm experimenting with combo/extended boluses. This morning I thought I had it figured beautifully. Had a D&D bagel with cream cheese. Bolused for 80 grams, 45% upfront, rest spread over 2:15minutes.
Ate at 8am - bg 116
2 hours late - bg 89 (SWEET)
2 hours after that (pre-lunch) - bg 192 - WHAT THE F!!!! Nothing to eat, only had black coffe to drink - iced medium, which took me the entire 4 hours to drink.
And one stupid little test has sent my mood into the shitter. I hate this! There's no reason for 192...None! Site's new, insulin is fresh...Only thing I can think of is I went lower (without symptoms) and am now paying for my perfectly healthy, overly compensating liver dump of glucose.
Grrr.....
Soooo, now what? Do I assume that I'm acutally getting the combo bolus somewhat figured out with the Symlin, that the 192 is a fluke (I've experienced similar highs 4 hours post meal after Symlin). Do I extend the rest even further?
For lunch, I skipped the combo, went straight for an extended over 4 hours. We'll see.
Oh, and for you Cozmo users - Is there a way in the history to see the details of a Combo/Extended bolus. I see in the history my bolus, but not the % now/later/time.
I'm still trying to get a hang of bolusing with Symlin. I can't do a regular bolus, or I crash and burn minutes after eating. So right now, I'm experimenting with combo/extended boluses. This morning I thought I had it figured beautifully. Had a D&D bagel with cream cheese. Bolused for 80 grams, 45% upfront, rest spread over 2:15minutes.
Ate at 8am - bg 116
2 hours late - bg 89 (SWEET)
2 hours after that (pre-lunch) - bg 192 - WHAT THE F!!!! Nothing to eat, only had black coffe to drink - iced medium, which took me the entire 4 hours to drink.
And one stupid little test has sent my mood into the shitter. I hate this! There's no reason for 192...None! Site's new, insulin is fresh...Only thing I can think of is I went lower (without symptoms) and am now paying for my perfectly healthy, overly compensating liver dump of glucose.
Grrr.....
Soooo, now what? Do I assume that I'm acutally getting the combo bolus somewhat figured out with the Symlin, that the 192 is a fluke (I've experienced similar highs 4 hours post meal after Symlin). Do I extend the rest even further?
For lunch, I skipped the combo, went straight for an extended over 4 hours. We'll see.
Oh, and for you Cozmo users - Is there a way in the history to see the details of a Combo/Extended bolus. I see in the history my bolus, but not the % now/later/time.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Word Verification
Am I the only one who would seriously flunk life, if it was based on the ability to type in the word verification correctly? If I had to grade myself, I'd be probably at 60%. Its ridiculous!
Monday, June 19, 2006
Anniversary Meme
Stolen from Kassie
For me it will be 13 years in September and is not at all as impressive as hers!
1.) Meet the man of my dreams 8 months after diagnosis and didn't scare him away with my D!
2.) Stood up to the High School nurse who INSISTED that I could not possibly walk the halls of high school with needles and insulin on me, despite that fact that she was NEVER around at lunch for my test/shot.
3.) Attend a band trip to Disney World, less then 8 months after dx, without my parents for over a week and didn't freak any teachers or friends out.
4.) Continued swimming competitively until I dislocated my knee at the beginning of my senior yr season.
5.) Attended MA Girl's State, a 1 week "prestige" (ha! I H-A-T-E-D it!) stay at Mount Holyoke College to High School girls who are, I guess, Civic Leaders....less then a yr after dx.
6.) Graduated High School 3rd in my class.
7.)Graduated UMASS-Amherst with an Econ degree while working at least 2 jobs (for a couple weeks, I actually juggled 4 jobs at once!).
8.) Got my current job being naive and honest about my diabetes during the interview.
9.) Bought my house and my 1st pump at the same time and moved into said house the same week as my pump training!
10.) Got married to that wonderful man who wasn't scared off by my D :) - only took us 8 yrs.
11.) Got pregnant
12.) Went on vacation while pregnant and then switched pumps.
13.) Had a wonderfully, amazing little girl and am ready for the next!
For me it will be 13 years in September and is not at all as impressive as hers!
1.) Meet the man of my dreams 8 months after diagnosis and didn't scare him away with my D!
2.) Stood up to the High School nurse who INSISTED that I could not possibly walk the halls of high school with needles and insulin on me, despite that fact that she was NEVER around at lunch for my test/shot.
3.) Attend a band trip to Disney World, less then 8 months after dx, without my parents for over a week and didn't freak any teachers or friends out.
4.) Continued swimming competitively until I dislocated my knee at the beginning of my senior yr season.
5.) Attended MA Girl's State, a 1 week "prestige" (ha! I H-A-T-E-D it!) stay at Mount Holyoke College to High School girls who are, I guess, Civic Leaders....less then a yr after dx.
6.) Graduated High School 3rd in my class.
7.)Graduated UMASS-Amherst with an Econ degree while working at least 2 jobs (for a couple weeks, I actually juggled 4 jobs at once!).
8.) Got my current job being naive and honest about my diabetes during the interview.
9.) Bought my house and my 1st pump at the same time and moved into said house the same week as my pump training!
10.) Got married to that wonderful man who wasn't scared off by my D :) - only took us 8 yrs.
11.) Got pregnant
12.) Went on vacation while pregnant and then switched pumps.
13.) Had a wonderfully, amazing little girl and am ready for the next!
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Ranty Kindof Day
Ok, no idea why I'm thinking of this, but I HATE, H.A.T.E. the stupid Foxwood's Casino commericals. I hate the jingle, I hate how clean and SMOKE FREE the place looks. What a freaking crock. Even the smoke free area, tucked away in a back corner in a janitor's closet is full of people smoking and THEY DO NOTHING ABOUT IT!! And lets talk about the people in the commerical. All young and pretty and dressed to the hilt. HA! Let's get real here.
Don't get me started on the United Bank "Personal Banker" commericals either. If that annoying lady says one more time "A Personal Banker means just that, we Personalize your banking experience" I will in fact be forced to drive to all of the United Banks, find her and throttle her. Wait, WHAT? Did you just define a phrase using the 2 damn words IN the phrase? In what holy world is that ok? We couldn't waste another 20 seconds of film, hand the moronic lady (a lady who is moronic) a damn dictionary and tell her to try again?
Ugh.
Don't get me started on the United Bank "Personal Banker" commericals either. If that annoying lady says one more time "A Personal Banker means just that, we Personalize your banking experience" I will in fact be forced to drive to all of the United Banks, find her and throttle her. Wait, WHAT? Did you just define a phrase using the 2 damn words IN the phrase? In what holy world is that ok? We couldn't waste another 20 seconds of film, hand the moronic lady (a lady who is moronic) a damn dictionary and tell her to try again?
Ugh.
Some Days I Wonder.....
So I've got the mother of all headaches right now. One of those "my head is going to split open and unleash demons upon the earth" kinds. So I pop some Excedrin Migrain and decide to buy myself a coffee on the way to work for that extra caffeine kick.
Go in.
"I'll have a large, iced carmel, cream only - dark."
"What size?" (as if all I had said was "coffee, me"
"Large?!"
"Cream or sugar" (ok, WTF, am I talking to myself??!!)
"Cream - dark" (irritation creaping into my voice)
What did I get? A large, REGULAR iced coffee, so freaking light I don't even think you can call it coffee. I think she waved the coffee over the top of the cup.
Its gonna be a BAAAA-aaad day.
Go in.
"I'll have a large, iced carmel, cream only - dark."
"What size?" (as if all I had said was "coffee, me"
"Large?!"
"Cream or sugar" (ok, WTF, am I talking to myself??!!)
"Cream - dark" (irritation creaping into my voice)
What did I get? A large, REGULAR iced coffee, so freaking light I don't even think you can call it coffee. I think she waved the coffee over the top of the cup.
Its gonna be a BAAAA-aaad day.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Just trying to stay dry......
YEEE-IKES!
Co-Worker went to open an umbrella to go to our other building. My sister (sits at the front desk), saw it immediately and ran for her life. Co-Worker wasn't too fond of it either.
19 Months
Mommy's late again, but I have my reasons.
You turned 19 months on Friday. You still constantly amaze me. On Thursday while I was sitting in the livingroom, you suddenly disappeared and got real quiet. I found you in the kitchen looking like Big Lou behind the bar, ready to start happy hour.
You had pulled out one of the chairs at the table, grabbed a bottle of water and a plastic cup and you were as content as a clam pouring yourself shots of water and gulping them down. I would've grabbed the camera if I wasn't hyperventalating over you being so grown up!
Then of course, there's your recent addiction to FlavorIce. Not that I can blame you, I'm a bit of a FlavorIce connieseur too. You are very adament, though that you have you very own. No sharing for you! No, no, no!!
You can now say your name "A-yee", Auntie "Ah-eee", Jeff "Jefffffffffs", Nicky "Ne-ee", ball "ballll" and so many others. You try to sing your ABC's "e,e,e,e,e" and Baa-Baa, Black Sheep "Baa, baa, baa, baa, baa,baa, yesch, yesch, yesch"...
Your hair...Can we talk about your hair?
It is soo funny. It will start the day out a frizzy, rats nest of a doo, but with the humidity lately, it ends up in the worlds most perfect head of ringlets.
I saw a picture of your daddy this weekend when he was probably 3 yrs old. YOU ARE ALL HIM!! There is not 1 piece of mommy in you. If I didn't have the scar proving..... It was amazing. I was missing you so much while I was in VT and then there was this picture. If it wasn't for the 1970's fading and boys cloths, I would've bet hard earned money that that was you in the picture. Right.down.to.the.smile. I NEED a copy of that picture.
Each month I wonder how you could possibly get any cuter, or how I could possibly love you any more then I already do. This month was no different. I don't know if I could pick a favorite age. Right now though, is definitely one of the best!
You turned 19 months on Friday. You still constantly amaze me. On Thursday while I was sitting in the livingroom, you suddenly disappeared and got real quiet. I found you in the kitchen looking like Big Lou behind the bar, ready to start happy hour.
You had pulled out one of the chairs at the table, grabbed a bottle of water and a plastic cup and you were as content as a clam pouring yourself shots of water and gulping them down. I would've grabbed the camera if I wasn't hyperventalating over you being so grown up!
Then of course, there's your recent addiction to FlavorIce. Not that I can blame you, I'm a bit of a FlavorIce connieseur too. You are very adament, though that you have you very own. No sharing for you! No, no, no!!
You can now say your name "A-yee", Auntie "Ah-eee", Jeff "Jefffffffffs", Nicky "Ne-ee", ball "ballll" and so many others. You try to sing your ABC's "e,e,e,e,e" and Baa-Baa, Black Sheep "Baa, baa, baa, baa, baa,baa, yesch, yesch, yesch"...
Your hair...Can we talk about your hair?
It is soo funny. It will start the day out a frizzy, rats nest of a doo, but with the humidity lately, it ends up in the worlds most perfect head of ringlets.
I saw a picture of your daddy this weekend when he was probably 3 yrs old. YOU ARE ALL HIM!! There is not 1 piece of mommy in you. If I didn't have the scar proving..... It was amazing. I was missing you so much while I was in VT and then there was this picture. If it wasn't for the 1970's fading and boys cloths, I would've bet hard earned money that that was you in the picture. Right.down.to.the.smile. I NEED a copy of that picture.
Each month I wonder how you could possibly get any cuter, or how I could possibly love you any more then I already do. This month was no different. I don't know if I could pick a favorite age. Right now though, is definitely one of the best!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Time heals what reason cannot.
First off, sorry for going so long between posts. My heart just hasn't been in it.
DH's cousin died during the early morning hours of June 1st. She was only 35. We traveled to Northern VT this weekend for the services. She was so young and she had 3 kids (16, 14, and 7) that she was raising alone. Those poor kids are all up in the air right now. The youngest 2's father has taken them all in and is in the process of becoming the oldest's legal guardian.
Its been a long weekend. Didn't help that by Sunday I was missing Ally A LOT. By Monday, I was literally frantic wanting to get back home to her. Of course then I felt overwhelming guilt that here I was wanting to leave family that had lost their daughter/mother/sister because I couldn't go 48 hours without seeing mine.
DH's cousin died during the early morning hours of June 1st. She was only 35. We traveled to Northern VT this weekend for the services. She was so young and she had 3 kids (16, 14, and 7) that she was raising alone. Those poor kids are all up in the air right now. The youngest 2's father has taken them all in and is in the process of becoming the oldest's legal guardian.
Its been a long weekend. Didn't help that by Sunday I was missing Ally A LOT. By Monday, I was literally frantic wanting to get back home to her. Of course then I felt overwhelming guilt that here I was wanting to leave family that had lost their daughter/mother/sister because I couldn't go 48 hours without seeing mine.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
It's ONLY Tuesday???!!
So I don't know what was up with me yesterday, but I was in the most pissed off, rip-roaring HORRIBLE mood. I was tired, I was cranky, I hated the world.
It wasn't pretty, and I started wondering if I really was over my PPD. I had stopped taking my "happy pills" (Lexapro) back in March. I've been well since then, until yesterday.
It was all day that I was bad. Started with me coming very, very close to hysterical crying watching footage of that poor race horse. Then I was soo apathetic all day at work.
Last night was the winner though. Got home and had no desire to cook the chicken breasts we had taken out for supper. I wanted ANYTHING but chicken breast, or more matter of fact, I wanted anything I didn't have to cook. So what did I do, sat on the couch and waited for DH to get home, then proceed to pout and be bitchy.
I decided that a DQ Brownie Blast an apple, would help my mood. Went and looked online, 600 calories in a small DQ Brownie Blast an apple!!!!! Are you shitting me? F' it! I don't care, I need chocolate an apple. SWCAL and I split 1/2 a small. The rest is waiting in the freezer.
And yes, I felt better afterwards.
Today, I'm feeling better. So much so, I'm setting my Lary Bird goal. Tonight, I've got a hot date with a cool treadmill.
It wasn't pretty, and I started wondering if I really was over my PPD. I had stopped taking my "happy pills" (Lexapro) back in March. I've been well since then, until yesterday.
It was all day that I was bad. Started with me coming very, very close to hysterical crying watching footage of that poor race horse. Then I was soo apathetic all day at work.
Last night was the winner though. Got home and had no desire to cook the chicken breasts we had taken out for supper. I wanted ANYTHING but chicken breast, or more matter of fact, I wanted anything I didn't have to cook. So what did I do, sat on the couch and waited for DH to get home, then proceed to pout and be bitchy.
I decided that a DQ Brownie Blast an apple, would help my mood. Went and looked online, 600 calories in a small DQ Brownie Blast an apple!!!!! Are you shitting me? F' it! I don't care, I need chocolate an apple. SWCAL and I split 1/2 a small. The rest is waiting in the freezer.
And yes, I felt better afterwards.
Today, I'm feeling better. So much so, I'm setting my Lary Bird goal. Tonight, I've got a hot date with a cool treadmill.
Monday, May 22, 2006
How quickly things change
Yesterday started out like any other Sunday. Actually better then most Sundays. I got up, got SWCAL up and dressed and headed to my moms. She was making crepes and then my mom, my sister, SWCAL and I were going to head off to our camp to clean it and get it all set for the long weekend.
We had just finished breakfast and were loading the truck with the freshly laundered linens when I heard the stupid Cozmo jingle. It had been doing that recently. Playing the jingle "dun,dun,dun, dunde, dun dun" for no apparent reason. No codes on the screen, no visible sign of anything wrong.
Next thing I know, I've got the most blood curling, annoying alarm going off on my pump, and a screen that just says "Call for Service". Usher SWCAL out of the room I'm in, shut the door and let the profanity fly. It was amazing how quickly my mood went from light and cheery, D being the last thing on my mind, to full fledged pissed off. Pissed off at D, pissed off that I may not be able to go with them to the camp. Pissed off that I have to rely on some stupid machine just to LIVE. I went to a very bad, very dark, D place quickly and the speed at which I got there scared me.
Better get on the phone with Deltec (at this point the screen was blank, but alarm still piercing away). "Oh, great, Sure I'll wait for a clinician to call me back...", more swearing. Give the answering service my mom's number and my cell phone since I've decided that I don't care if I'm half dead and at 600 this afternoon, I'm GOING WITH THEM GOD DAMMIT!! THIS DISEASE IS NOT HOLDING ME BACK AGAIN!
Slowly, though, I start thinking rationally....WAIT!! I've got that cool, new aDorn pocketbook. I've got insulin on me! And since I'm now on Symlin, I've got syringes too! Just maybe I can actually do this without spending the day feeling like death!!! And for shits and giggles, what happens if I remove the battery and put it back in (at the very least it'll make this stupid alarm stop)....Remove/replace battery and WHAMO! everything's working again! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?? Can I be this lucky?
Clinician calls me back...She sounds like she doesn't have a clue, but tells me that the alarm I experienced (100) sometimes just happens during a big bolus (I had bolused 11units - which is actually pretty normal for me - again with the stupid IR). She said it's usually a 1 time deal, but if it did happen again, to call them back and they'll send out a new one.
I got to thinking then....Um, I bought a new holder on Sat. A really cute pink one to match my pink Red Sox hat I so desperately want. Designed for cell phones, but it fit PERFECTLY. The flap though, closes with a magnet. I'm wondering if that's the culprit. Haven't had any alarms since I stopped using the holder, no more jingles either (learned the jingle is the pump running a self-test).
Guess I'm back to my boring black, plastic clip.
pic is just for color purposes. Couldn't find the actual case I had bought.
Friday, May 19, 2006
ya, I need help
Ok, just re-read my post....I guess my intelligence has also been swept away by the rain (never-ending tedium has a way of doing that!).
"biannual" - ya, um, no....I don't go 2x a yr. I haven't gone in 2 yrs. LOL
"ad nauseom".....geez girl, spell check. Use it, love it!
"biannual" - ya, um, no....I don't go 2x a yr. I haven't gone in 2 yrs. LOL
"ad nauseom".....geez girl, spell check. Use it, love it!
Quiet
Gosh, I've been quiet lately! I think the rain has just squashed any and all creativity out of me. I've had 0 ambition lately. Seems like all I do is get up, go to work, come home, go to bed. Repeat ad nauseoum.
Did have my annual eye exam on Monday (well for me, it was more of a bi-annual...shame, shame on me!). Thankfully eyes are 100% clear of any D related issues still. I do need glasses though. :( I can't see diddly at night and its getting to be an issue driving. Picked out a pair yesterday. I'm getting old.
Yesterday I also found a memorial blog to a friend of mine from my swimming days. We weren't "hang out after school" friends, but I knew her well enough that her death from cancer touched me and I found it very difficult reading the memorial. It will be 2 yrs ago today that she died. She was 28. Its just not fair. Anyone who knew Casey, even just in passing, HAD to be touched by her energetic, lust for life. She was a ball of energy and she was taken too soon!
Did have my annual eye exam on Monday (well for me, it was more of a bi-annual...shame, shame on me!). Thankfully eyes are 100% clear of any D related issues still. I do need glasses though. :( I can't see diddly at night and its getting to be an issue driving. Picked out a pair yesterday. I'm getting old.
Yesterday I also found a memorial blog to a friend of mine from my swimming days. We weren't "hang out after school" friends, but I knew her well enough that her death from cancer touched me and I found it very difficult reading the memorial. It will be 2 yrs ago today that she died. She was 28. Its just not fair. Anyone who knew Casey, even just in passing, HAD to be touched by her energetic, lust for life. She was a ball of energy and she was taken too soon!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
Interview Meme
Curtesy Kassie
1) You have $1000 for a 1 hour shopping spree. Where would you go, and what would you buy?
Hmmmmm, $1,000. Well, 1 - I'm an Old Navy junkie for SWCAL, so I'd be there 1st. Ok, that would account for about $100. Then, right now, probably Home Depot or Lowes. I LOVE interior decorating and am DYING to either put hardwood in our tiny livingroom, or tile in our kitchen. We also need a walkway from the drive to the side door. I'm such a practical gal!
2) How would you describe a low in 10 words or less?
Shaky, ravenous, sweaty, moody, sinking feeling in my legs
3) Where would you most like to visit? Definitely Australia. Wanted to go on our honeymoon, but didn't have enough time off (went to Alaska instead). After that, I'd LOVE to cruise the Greek Islands and visit England.
4) If you had 2 uninterrupted minutes to speak with the President, what would you say? I have no idea. I'd probably get too flustered to even start, but I'd want to grill him on stem cell research.
5) You're in charge at Ben & Jerry's for the day: what flavor ice cream do you invent?Gobs of Goodness - Mint Ice Cream (white please, no funky green color), with mini M&M's, brownie chunks and fudge sauce swirled through.
1) You have $1000 for a 1 hour shopping spree. Where would you go, and what would you buy?
Hmmmmm, $1,000. Well, 1 - I'm an Old Navy junkie for SWCAL, so I'd be there 1st. Ok, that would account for about $100. Then, right now, probably Home Depot or Lowes. I LOVE interior decorating and am DYING to either put hardwood in our tiny livingroom, or tile in our kitchen. We also need a walkway from the drive to the side door. I'm such a practical gal!
2) How would you describe a low in 10 words or less?
Shaky, ravenous, sweaty, moody, sinking feeling in my legs
3) Where would you most like to visit? Definitely Australia. Wanted to go on our honeymoon, but didn't have enough time off (went to Alaska instead). After that, I'd LOVE to cruise the Greek Islands and visit England.
4) If you had 2 uninterrupted minutes to speak with the President, what would you say? I have no idea. I'd probably get too flustered to even start, but I'd want to grill him on stem cell research.
5) You're in charge at Ben & Jerry's for the day: what flavor ice cream do you invent?Gobs of Goodness - Mint Ice Cream (white please, no funky green color), with mini M&M's, brownie chunks and fudge sauce swirled through.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Lost and Scared
I've mentioned before about unintentionally spending the night on a mountain, and for some reason, today I feel compelled to tell that story.
I was 12 years old and was out with my cousin (who's really more like my older sister). That evening she had called my mom to see if she could take me "for a walk" after supper. It was Sunday, April 30th, 1989. It was a glorious afternoon. One of those really warm days that lets you know you are now closer to summer then winter. I fought with my mom about taking a jacket as I walked out the door to meet my cousin. I never said goodbye.
My cousin and I spent a while just driving around trying to decide where to go on our walk. We finally decided to drive to the Summit House on Skinner Mountain and just walk around up there. As we pulled into the drive, we met the caretaker of the House. He was closing the gate for the evening. We had a nice, pretty substantial chat with him, complete with him saying "We could spend the night on the mountain, for all he cared!" (how prophetic those words would come to be!). We decided to pull the car around to a rest area and take a trail up.
Another argument ensued with my cousin regarding my coat. She won, I took it with me.
We made it to the top of the mountain without any problem. It was glorious up there. The trees were starting to bloom and everything just screamed SPRING IS HERE!. Knowing that our daylight time was limited we headed back down the trail. Somewhere, things went VERY wrong.
(from this point forward is my recollation of the events, accurate or not, its how I remember it happening)
We were probably 1/2 way down the mountain, when we suddenly couldn't find ANY markers showing us where to go next. Standing in that little gully, I could feel my throat tighten and panic start to rise. Then suddenly, I found it! Up at the top of that hill, that's a marker, right? Up we went. It was a marker, all right, just this one was white, not yellow. Oh, well. Its a trail and that was what we desperately needed at that moment. Unfortunately, our next mistake was about to be made.
We followed the marker for what seemed like ages as darkness ever so slowly encroached on us. "L, shouldn't we be at the car now?" I asked nervously. She offered some sort of reassuring answer, trying to quell her own fears. We continued walking.
As it got darker, things got scarier. I slipped, skidding down a hill and cried. L did her best to reassure me that we were fine. Got back up and carried on following the trail. Then L slipped and completely lost it. I was thrust into the position of reassuring her. "We're on a trail, right? It has to lead somewhere! Sooner or later, we'll come across Route 47 or 116 or something. We just have too right?"
Somehow, we managed to push on. The walking got more and more difficult, though. The trail itself got more dangerous and it was very obviously dark now. We found a spot and decided to stop. We made an agreement, that as soon as there was enough daylight to read L's watch, we'd follow the trail back in the direction we had just come.
The spot we choose, I believe, helped to keep me calm during that night. It was at the top of a cliff, at some sort of an overhang. I could see street lights and house lights below me and the stars above me. I KNOW I wouldn't have fared as well if all I saw was darkness and trees.
I thank God everyday that my mom and L both made me carry that jacket. While it might have been in the 70°'s that morning, it was now in the 30°'s and misting. IT WAS FREEZING. We layed L's winter coat on the ground to lay on, then each put 1 arm through my coat, so that we were back to back with the jacket stretched between us. Every once in a while, we would get up and do jumping jacks or sing funny toddler songs that have movement (Gray Squirrel or Little Teapot), just to keep the blood flowing. Eventually, the feeling in my feet was comepletely gone. I had no balance so we stopped getting up. I layed there shaking so hard from the cold, that it literally hurt. I would have to brace myself as hard as I could to stop shaking for a moment. I've never been that cold in my life and pray that I never will again.
Back Home - as told to me by my sister and mother
My sister, the worrier, began to do what she does best as darkness fell. "Mom, shouldn't Sarah be back now?". My mom, growing a little concerned, would blow her off. I was with L. L is responsible and ALWAYS had me back at the time my mom specified. As it grew later and later, my mom and sister grew more and more concerned. Mom called her sister. "Is L and Sarah there?". "No, I thought they were with you!". It was 10pm. The panick had started. Mom called the local police station, who blew her off. To them we were either out partying or were runaways. Mom called again and again. She FINALLY got a cop that she happened to go to High School with. She got him to believe that we DID NOT runaway (and seriously, what 21 yr old would runaway with a 12 yr old?).
There was a major problem though. No one knew were we had gone! Mom gave the cops all the places we might have gone. That list streched from Quabbin Reservoir to Goshen, MA. Not exactly a small search area. The surrounding cities were notified. A car matching L's was found in Orange, MA abandoned. Wasted time, verifing that it wasn't hers.
They finally found her car, where we had left it. My mom and L's mom drove frantically in 1 car, with my Dad and L's in another. Pictures of us were handed over along with articles of clothing for the search dogs. Our fathers stayed at the site, to help with the search. The car was taped off. L's pocketbook was still in the backseat, but the doors were unlocked. The cops were afraid that we had been forciably removed from the car.
Screams were suddenly heard, and everything got deathly serious. Guns were drawn and our fathers were ordered into a cruiser. Thankfully, what was thought to be screams, turned out to the sheep on the farm where we had parked.
Search parties were formed. The caretaker was called out of his sleep to join the police at the mountain. NOT ONCE did this man tell police that he had spoken to us. NOT.ONCE.
Back on the mountain
Being a TV junkie that I am, I was convinced that no one was looking for us. Every Cop show you see says "Call us when they're missing for 24 hrs". We were alone on this mountain and we would have to save ourself. I kept asking L if she could read her watch. I must've asked 1,000 times. I was cold, I was tired, I was hurt, but most of all, I was really, REALLY scared and I really, REALLY wanted to see my parents.
At one point, something big, something wild walked near us. We both held our breath, braced ourselves and prayed for it to go away. Neither of us was brave enough to open our eyes and see what it was.
At one point, I swore I heard my father shout my name. I wanted desperately to yell back "I'm here!!! I'm here!!!!". L said I was hullicinating.
I just might have actually heard him. I learned later that they allowed our fathers to go to the top of the mountain where the Summit House was, and my dad was yelling for me with a loud speaker. It would have been pointless for me to yell back though. We were miles from where they were, and his voice, combined with the loudspeaker were probably just enough to catch the right gust of wind and carry to me.
It was the longest night of my life. I can't believe how long darkness can last when all you want is so desperately to see light. Laying there in the dark, I was helpless and L.O.S.T. At least when daylight broke, I could pretend that I wasn't lost, just out on a hike on a lovely yellow marked trail.
It was our parents longest night too. My mom's family are all hunters and woodsmen. It was taking everything she had (and her sister) not to call them all and get them on the mountain looking for us. The last thing the police wanted was to lose other people in the dark, so they were refusing help until daybreak. At daybreak though, every single one of our Uncles were at that mountain ready to go.
When we could finally see her watch (it was only symantics that we couldn't exactly tell actual time with it), we got up to go. My feet felt as if they were 3 times longer and 2 times wider then normal. I found it difficult to balance, nevermind walk, but there was NO WAY I was going to stay at that spot any longer. We started following the path back. We were amazed and terrified at what we had climbed in the dark. Trails that were inches wide straddling cliffs with falls that were not survivable. There were a few times I really wasn't sure I could make it back across what we had done during the night.
We walked for probably a little over an hour, when I noticed a guy in the woods. He was wearing a black T-shirt with jeans. He scared me (remember, I'm under the belief that no one is looking for us beyond our parents). He starts yelling "Hey!!! Hey You!". I beg L not to answer him. "If he was looking for us, he'd be saying our names!!".... "Hey!! Stop! Hey! Are you Sarah and L?".....I swear the Heavens opened up and I heard angles singing. "YES!!" As he got closer, I realized his T-Shirt said SHPD (South Hadley PD). We were found! We were safe and we were 50 feet from a road, and road that we had searched for for so long. A cruiser came and picked us up and brought us to our fathers. As we were making our way back to L's car, I saw one of my uncles doing close to 90mph racing up to the top of the mountain. The cops joked that as any other time, that would be the sweetest ticket ever!
We meet our dad's at the base of the mountain where L's car was (we were found MILES away from that area). I was never so happy to see my dad. The tears started then and didn't stop for quite a while. The 90mph uncle came back down. He had thought to bring food, water and blankets. I didn't realize until then how thirsty I really was. We were bundled up while High 5's were flying all around us.
One of the cops informed us that news vans were on the way and let us get out of there before they showed up. We stopped at the 1st pay phone we could find so that we could talk to our moms. I don't even remember what I said. Probably didn't get anything out beyond "Mom?"
Back at home, EVERYONE was in the kitchen. EVERYONE had called into to work to help find us / support our moms. It was supposed to be my mother's 1st day at her new job. (How's that for an excuse!). Things settled down and people started leaving. I remember crying "Do I HAVE to go to school today?". I didn't. I even got to sleep in my parents bed, so that I could watch some tv too. I don't remember watching much of anything, I was so exhausted.
The phone rang that whole day - reporters looking for interviews, friends and relatives. My parents handled them all. I didn't want to talk about it. That night I went to my softball game. I was a celebrity there. I had been on every newscast. Even the opposing team was wondering if I was there. I only played 2 innings though. I was a catcher and it was just too draining.
School the next day was just as difficult. Every teacher (expect 1 glorious one) wanted me to stand infront of the class and tell my story. The school even held a seminar about "What to do if you got lost". I was asked by just about EVERYONE, "why we didn't you just take the trail that went DOWN?" We would've loved too! Turns out the trail we were on travels the mountain top. Its part of the Mohawk Trail, and we were apparently heading to New York.
I've never been back to that trail, or the Summit House. L has, trying to retrace where we went wrong. The trail was re-marked the week after. They're guessing we got lost at a part where a recently fallen tree had been marked. I've been on trails since (GPS and marking the coordinates of our car is helpful), but everytime, I still get a tightness in my throat and an overwhelming desire to just stay in the car.
I was 12 years old and was out with my cousin (who's really more like my older sister). That evening she had called my mom to see if she could take me "for a walk" after supper. It was Sunday, April 30th, 1989. It was a glorious afternoon. One of those really warm days that lets you know you are now closer to summer then winter. I fought with my mom about taking a jacket as I walked out the door to meet my cousin. I never said goodbye.
My cousin and I spent a while just driving around trying to decide where to go on our walk. We finally decided to drive to the Summit House on Skinner Mountain and just walk around up there. As we pulled into the drive, we met the caretaker of the House. He was closing the gate for the evening. We had a nice, pretty substantial chat with him, complete with him saying "We could spend the night on the mountain, for all he cared!" (how prophetic those words would come to be!). We decided to pull the car around to a rest area and take a trail up.
Another argument ensued with my cousin regarding my coat. She won, I took it with me.
We made it to the top of the mountain without any problem. It was glorious up there. The trees were starting to bloom and everything just screamed SPRING IS HERE!. Knowing that our daylight time was limited we headed back down the trail. Somewhere, things went VERY wrong.
(from this point forward is my recollation of the events, accurate or not, its how I remember it happening)
We were probably 1/2 way down the mountain, when we suddenly couldn't find ANY markers showing us where to go next. Standing in that little gully, I could feel my throat tighten and panic start to rise. Then suddenly, I found it! Up at the top of that hill, that's a marker, right? Up we went. It was a marker, all right, just this one was white, not yellow. Oh, well. Its a trail and that was what we desperately needed at that moment. Unfortunately, our next mistake was about to be made.
We followed the marker for what seemed like ages as darkness ever so slowly encroached on us. "L, shouldn't we be at the car now?" I asked nervously. She offered some sort of reassuring answer, trying to quell her own fears. We continued walking.
As it got darker, things got scarier. I slipped, skidding down a hill and cried. L did her best to reassure me that we were fine. Got back up and carried on following the trail. Then L slipped and completely lost it. I was thrust into the position of reassuring her. "We're on a trail, right? It has to lead somewhere! Sooner or later, we'll come across Route 47 or 116 or something. We just have too right?"
Somehow, we managed to push on. The walking got more and more difficult, though. The trail itself got more dangerous and it was very obviously dark now. We found a spot and decided to stop. We made an agreement, that as soon as there was enough daylight to read L's watch, we'd follow the trail back in the direction we had just come.
The spot we choose, I believe, helped to keep me calm during that night. It was at the top of a cliff, at some sort of an overhang. I could see street lights and house lights below me and the stars above me. I KNOW I wouldn't have fared as well if all I saw was darkness and trees.
I thank God everyday that my mom and L both made me carry that jacket. While it might have been in the 70°'s that morning, it was now in the 30°'s and misting. IT WAS FREEZING. We layed L's winter coat on the ground to lay on, then each put 1 arm through my coat, so that we were back to back with the jacket stretched between us. Every once in a while, we would get up and do jumping jacks or sing funny toddler songs that have movement (Gray Squirrel or Little Teapot), just to keep the blood flowing. Eventually, the feeling in my feet was comepletely gone. I had no balance so we stopped getting up. I layed there shaking so hard from the cold, that it literally hurt. I would have to brace myself as hard as I could to stop shaking for a moment. I've never been that cold in my life and pray that I never will again.
Back Home - as told to me by my sister and mother
My sister, the worrier, began to do what she does best as darkness fell. "Mom, shouldn't Sarah be back now?". My mom, growing a little concerned, would blow her off. I was with L. L is responsible and ALWAYS had me back at the time my mom specified. As it grew later and later, my mom and sister grew more and more concerned. Mom called her sister. "Is L and Sarah there?". "No, I thought they were with you!". It was 10pm. The panick had started. Mom called the local police station, who blew her off. To them we were either out partying or were runaways. Mom called again and again. She FINALLY got a cop that she happened to go to High School with. She got him to believe that we DID NOT runaway (and seriously, what 21 yr old would runaway with a 12 yr old?).
There was a major problem though. No one knew were we had gone! Mom gave the cops all the places we might have gone. That list streched from Quabbin Reservoir to Goshen, MA. Not exactly a small search area. The surrounding cities were notified. A car matching L's was found in Orange, MA abandoned. Wasted time, verifing that it wasn't hers.
They finally found her car, where we had left it. My mom and L's mom drove frantically in 1 car, with my Dad and L's in another. Pictures of us were handed over along with articles of clothing for the search dogs. Our fathers stayed at the site, to help with the search. The car was taped off. L's pocketbook was still in the backseat, but the doors were unlocked. The cops were afraid that we had been forciably removed from the car.
Screams were suddenly heard, and everything got deathly serious. Guns were drawn and our fathers were ordered into a cruiser. Thankfully, what was thought to be screams, turned out to the sheep on the farm where we had parked.
Search parties were formed. The caretaker was called out of his sleep to join the police at the mountain. NOT ONCE did this man tell police that he had spoken to us. NOT.ONCE.
Back on the mountain
Being a TV junkie that I am, I was convinced that no one was looking for us. Every Cop show you see says "Call us when they're missing for 24 hrs". We were alone on this mountain and we would have to save ourself. I kept asking L if she could read her watch. I must've asked 1,000 times. I was cold, I was tired, I was hurt, but most of all, I was really, REALLY scared and I really, REALLY wanted to see my parents.
At one point, something big, something wild walked near us. We both held our breath, braced ourselves and prayed for it to go away. Neither of us was brave enough to open our eyes and see what it was.
At one point, I swore I heard my father shout my name. I wanted desperately to yell back "I'm here!!! I'm here!!!!". L said I was hullicinating.
I just might have actually heard him. I learned later that they allowed our fathers to go to the top of the mountain where the Summit House was, and my dad was yelling for me with a loud speaker. It would have been pointless for me to yell back though. We were miles from where they were, and his voice, combined with the loudspeaker were probably just enough to catch the right gust of wind and carry to me.
It was the longest night of my life. I can't believe how long darkness can last when all you want is so desperately to see light. Laying there in the dark, I was helpless and L.O.S.T. At least when daylight broke, I could pretend that I wasn't lost, just out on a hike on a lovely yellow marked trail.
It was our parents longest night too. My mom's family are all hunters and woodsmen. It was taking everything she had (and her sister) not to call them all and get them on the mountain looking for us. The last thing the police wanted was to lose other people in the dark, so they were refusing help until daybreak. At daybreak though, every single one of our Uncles were at that mountain ready to go.
When we could finally see her watch (it was only symantics that we couldn't exactly tell actual time with it), we got up to go. My feet felt as if they were 3 times longer and 2 times wider then normal. I found it difficult to balance, nevermind walk, but there was NO WAY I was going to stay at that spot any longer. We started following the path back. We were amazed and terrified at what we had climbed in the dark. Trails that were inches wide straddling cliffs with falls that were not survivable. There were a few times I really wasn't sure I could make it back across what we had done during the night.
We walked for probably a little over an hour, when I noticed a guy in the woods. He was wearing a black T-shirt with jeans. He scared me (remember, I'm under the belief that no one is looking for us beyond our parents). He starts yelling "Hey!!! Hey You!". I beg L not to answer him. "If he was looking for us, he'd be saying our names!!".... "Hey!! Stop! Hey! Are you Sarah and L?".....I swear the Heavens opened up and I heard angles singing. "YES!!" As he got closer, I realized his T-Shirt said SHPD (South Hadley PD). We were found! We were safe and we were 50 feet from a road, and road that we had searched for for so long. A cruiser came and picked us up and brought us to our fathers. As we were making our way back to L's car, I saw one of my uncles doing close to 90mph racing up to the top of the mountain. The cops joked that as any other time, that would be the sweetest ticket ever!
We meet our dad's at the base of the mountain where L's car was (we were found MILES away from that area). I was never so happy to see my dad. The tears started then and didn't stop for quite a while. The 90mph uncle came back down. He had thought to bring food, water and blankets. I didn't realize until then how thirsty I really was. We were bundled up while High 5's were flying all around us.
One of the cops informed us that news vans were on the way and let us get out of there before they showed up. We stopped at the 1st pay phone we could find so that we could talk to our moms. I don't even remember what I said. Probably didn't get anything out beyond "Mom?"
Back at home, EVERYONE was in the kitchen. EVERYONE had called into to work to help find us / support our moms. It was supposed to be my mother's 1st day at her new job. (How's that for an excuse!). Things settled down and people started leaving. I remember crying "Do I HAVE to go to school today?". I didn't. I even got to sleep in my parents bed, so that I could watch some tv too. I don't remember watching much of anything, I was so exhausted.
The phone rang that whole day - reporters looking for interviews, friends and relatives. My parents handled them all. I didn't want to talk about it. That night I went to my softball game. I was a celebrity there. I had been on every newscast. Even the opposing team was wondering if I was there. I only played 2 innings though. I was a catcher and it was just too draining.
School the next day was just as difficult. Every teacher (expect 1 glorious one) wanted me to stand infront of the class and tell my story. The school even held a seminar about "What to do if you got lost". I was asked by just about EVERYONE, "why we didn't you just take the trail that went DOWN?" We would've loved too! Turns out the trail we were on travels the mountain top. Its part of the Mohawk Trail, and we were apparently heading to New York.
I've never been back to that trail, or the Summit House. L has, trying to retrace where we went wrong. The trail was re-marked the week after. They're guessing we got lost at a part where a recently fallen tree had been marked. I've been on trails since (GPS and marking the coordinates of our car is helpful), but everytime, I still get a tightness in my throat and an overwhelming desire to just stay in the car.
Monday, May 08, 2006
18 Months
You turned 18 months last Tuesday and unfortunately you haven't been the happiest camper. This past week, you've been clingy, and whiney, and cry-y and just downright miserable. I can't blame you though. You've had to have bloodwork done 2x because the stupid lab screwed a part of it up (and let me tell you, it broke my heart when you put your arm out and pointed to where they were going to jab you), you've had shots, you've got fluid in your ears again which means the ear infection gods are just toying with us right now....AND you're cutting your 2 yr molars which are apparently taking their sweet old time and want us all to die a firey death before they break through...
On other notes, though...Your vocab is amazing and it seems to explode on an almost daily basis. Auntie Melissa taught you to oink like a pig, which is just the cutest thing since your "oinks" sound like a reverse snore (you're exhaling, instead of inhaling). I'm gonna have to get a recording of it to share with the world. You can also make doggy noises, owl noises, cow noises and cat noises (when I remind you that they go "meow"). You can identify your nose, eyes, ears, teeth, belly and belly-button. You LOVE doing "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" and "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider".
Grampy bought you a climber slide and you think mommy and daddy are cruel people for not letting you play outside 24/7. You love opening the door, climbing up on to the platform and pushing yourself down the slide.
We celebrated Easter this month too and you were in love with the little puppy that was at Memere's. You followed him around EVERYWHERE and were so gentle with him. Made me want to get you one, until I remembered that I don't want another thing that poops, pees and needs to be feed on a daily basis!
Uncle Jeff seems to be turning into your favoritest person in the whole wide world. He stopped over for a few minutes the other day, and you had the most despondent look on your face when he left. It was almost as if you were too sad to even say "BUH-bye!". Your parents, on the other hand, you seem to keep us around, only for the occasional "Scooby Snack" and helicopter spin around the livingroom (which only daddy gives you since they scare the crap out of me every single time he does it!).
We are counting our blessings at the moment since you are still a great sleeper. So much so that when we ask you "Is it time for Night-Nights?", you actually say "yef!", grab "bankie" and yell "up!" so that you can get over the gate and start climbing the stairs to your room.
And you still don't say "no". At all, not once!
On other notes, though...Your vocab is amazing and it seems to explode on an almost daily basis. Auntie Melissa taught you to oink like a pig, which is just the cutest thing since your "oinks" sound like a reverse snore (you're exhaling, instead of inhaling). I'm gonna have to get a recording of it to share with the world. You can also make doggy noises, owl noises, cow noises and cat noises (when I remind you that they go "meow"). You can identify your nose, eyes, ears, teeth, belly and belly-button. You LOVE doing "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" and "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider".
Grampy bought you a climber slide and you think mommy and daddy are cruel people for not letting you play outside 24/7. You love opening the door, climbing up on to the platform and pushing yourself down the slide.
We celebrated Easter this month too and you were in love with the little puppy that was at Memere's. You followed him around EVERYWHERE and were so gentle with him. Made me want to get you one, until I remembered that I don't want another thing that poops, pees and needs to be feed on a daily basis!
Uncle Jeff seems to be turning into your favoritest person in the whole wide world. He stopped over for a few minutes the other day, and you had the most despondent look on your face when he left. It was almost as if you were too sad to even say "BUH-bye!". Your parents, on the other hand, you seem to keep us around, only for the occasional "Scooby Snack" and helicopter spin around the livingroom (which only daddy gives you since they scare the crap out of me every single time he does it!).
We are counting our blessings at the moment since you are still a great sleeper. So much so that when we ask you "Is it time for Night-Nights?", you actually say "yef!", grab "bankie" and yell "up!" so that you can get over the gate and start climbing the stairs to your room.
And you still don't say "no". At all, not once!
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Bravo!!
So I got my copy of When You're a Parent with Diabetes by Kassie Friday afternoon. Finished the book that night. All I can say is BRAVO Kassie!!!
I loved it! It's a quick, easy read (and honestly when you're a parent - nevermind one with D, who has time to read?), her "voice" really shines through (some days, I swear Kassie is my long lost sister!), and I love that its written by someone who lives with these challenges day in and day out, instead of some pushy MD that really has no clue what daily life is like. And hey, "knowing" the author and over 95% of the people quoted in the book is really, REALLY cool!!!
Of course the first thing I did was flip through, to find myself, LOL, and was quickly pulling out names! Even DH recognized some of the people.
Anyway, Kassie, I think you did an AMAZING job!! The book is great and should be a vaulable resource for all parents with diabetes!!!! I give it 5 stars out of 5!!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Symlin - Take One
So I had an endo appt today and we've decided that I'm going to add Symlin. I was a little concerned. I mean, really, it seems like a giant step backwards in D care...I have to use NEEDLES again. Shots and a pump? What madness is this?
Can I just say that I AM LOVING SYMLIN!
Granted, I've only talken 1 dose, but that dose was with PIZZA!! I was a little afraid when I dialed in my bolus and the screen said "Deliver 7.0 units?"....Um, ok, but that's SOOOOOOO not gonna cover this pizza (remember I've got serious IR problems!)...
Pre-Supper - 76
1 hr Post Supper - 96
2 hrs post Supper 126
HOLY SHIT THIS STUFF ROCKS!!!
Oh, ya, and I was FULL on 3 slices. Should've only had 2, but my brain was just like "no way, 2 slices of pizza, is just not enough".
Can I just say that I AM LOVING SYMLIN!
Granted, I've only talken 1 dose, but that dose was with PIZZA!! I was a little afraid when I dialed in my bolus and the screen said "Deliver 7.0 units?"....Um, ok, but that's SOOOOOOO not gonna cover this pizza (remember I've got serious IR problems!)...
Pre-Supper - 76
1 hr Post Supper - 96
2 hrs post Supper 126
HOLY SHIT THIS STUFF ROCKS!!!
Oh, ya, and I was FULL on 3 slices. Should've only had 2, but my brain was just like "no way, 2 slices of pizza, is just not enough".
Lancet, Lancet, Who's got the Lancet?
So the "new and improved, reborn D" Sarah, has been leaving her testing supplies out, so that I see them, and actually remember to test. This has been quite successful, until last night.
I started running low around 7pm last night. Felt shaky in the shower (which is never fun!). Got out, had some frosted mini wheats and obviously ate more then 15g. Left testing supplies on table to remember to test after Lost to make sure I'm not flying high.
Finish watching a kick-@ss episode of Lost, go to table...Meter - Check!, Test strips - Check!, Lancet - lancet?, lancet?, lancet?? Ah, crap, where the hell's the lancet. Start searching the kitchen, blaming the cats. Searched under the fridge, under the stove, in all crevices...everywhere. Swearing now starts and DH gets called downstairs to help.
How in the hell did the cats play with my lancet without me hearing the tell-tale sounds of it being batted around the kitchen? Hmmm, WAIT A MINUTE!!! There's a much sneakier, much quieter criminal in the house! Ok, if I was 18 months old, where would I put a lancet? Trash? Probably. - Dig threw, EWWWWW, no lancet
Toy box? - Even closer, but no go....
Where did I find my lancet finally? In her Muppets lunchbox. Of course! If she was awake she would've looked at me like I was nuts not to look there first.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Couldn't Help Myself
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
George Carlin
This is SOOOOOOOO my mood right now!
George Carlin
This is SOOOOOOOO my mood right now!
Monday, May 01, 2006
Meme stolen from Julia
Accent: I don't think I have one. Unless you count saying wicked an accent. Gotta love Western MA.
Booze: No thanks. LOL Not a big drinker and if I do, it best taste like Kool-Aide. I'm a cheap date, lucky if I finish 1 drink.
Chore I Hate: All of them. Bathrooms the most (which is why none of you will ever see them!)
Dog or Cat: Cats - 3 of them. The Princess, The Pet Slut, and The Pee'er.
Essential Electronics: Computer. Came real, REAL close to buying a new laptop this weekend. F*&&%^ formatting a laptop!!
Favorite Perfume: NONE. All give me horrible migranes.
Gold or Silver: silver
Hometown: Holyoke, Massachusetts
Insomnia: All...The...Time...
Job Title: Sr. Operations Analyst (oh ya, and Mom and Official Nose Wiper).
Kids: One
Living arrangements: House that I own with DH, SWCAL and the Cats.
Most admirable traits: Very loyal
Number of sexual partners: One
Overnight hospital stays: 2 - 1 week when Dx'd in 93 for 5 nights and then for my C with Ally in 2004 for 4 nights.
Phobias: #1 - Failure, #2 - Someone breaking into the house while I'm home, #3 - Spiders
Quote: I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect. George Carlin
Religion: Really not sure. I believe in God and being a good person, but beyond that most religions tick me off.
Siblings: One sister.
Time I wake up: 6 a.m. during the week, around 7 on Saturdays, and 8 or 9 on Sunday's (DH's morning to get up with SWCAL).
Unusual talent or skill: I really don't know.
Vegetables I love: I pretty much like them all.
Worst habit: Stemming back from when I was PAINFULLY shy, I have a nasty habit of mouthing what I just said to make sure I said it right - long story involving a friend who called anything I said "stupid". I don't do it very often any more (noticably), but if I'm really uncomfortable, it'll slip out.
X-rays: Lots and lots on my back (lumbardosis as a kid, treated at Shiners with back brace), shoulder - dislocated, knee - 3x and an MRI, dislocated 3 times, multiple sprained ankles...LOL I'm a walking disaster.
Yummy foods I make: Just about any baked good. LOVE decorating cakes, hate cleaning up afterward.
Zodiac sign: Sagittarius
Booze: No thanks. LOL Not a big drinker and if I do, it best taste like Kool-Aide. I'm a cheap date, lucky if I finish 1 drink.
Chore I Hate: All of them. Bathrooms the most (which is why none of you will ever see them!)
Dog or Cat: Cats - 3 of them. The Princess, The Pet Slut, and The Pee'er.
Essential Electronics: Computer. Came real, REAL close to buying a new laptop this weekend. F*&&%^ formatting a laptop!!
Favorite Perfume: NONE. All give me horrible migranes.
Gold or Silver: silver
Hometown: Holyoke, Massachusetts
Insomnia: All...The...Time...
Job Title: Sr. Operations Analyst (oh ya, and Mom and Official Nose Wiper).
Kids: One
Living arrangements: House that I own with DH, SWCAL and the Cats.
Most admirable traits: Very loyal
Number of sexual partners: One
Overnight hospital stays: 2 - 1 week when Dx'd in 93 for 5 nights and then for my C with Ally in 2004 for 4 nights.
Phobias: #1 - Failure, #2 - Someone breaking into the house while I'm home, #3 - Spiders
Quote: I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect. George Carlin
Religion: Really not sure. I believe in God and being a good person, but beyond that most religions tick me off.
Siblings: One sister.
Time I wake up: 6 a.m. during the week, around 7 on Saturdays, and 8 or 9 on Sunday's (DH's morning to get up with SWCAL).
Unusual talent or skill: I really don't know.
Vegetables I love: I pretty much like them all.
Worst habit: Stemming back from when I was PAINFULLY shy, I have a nasty habit of mouthing what I just said to make sure I said it right - long story involving a friend who called anything I said "stupid". I don't do it very often any more (noticably), but if I'm really uncomfortable, it'll slip out.
X-rays: Lots and lots on my back (lumbardosis as a kid, treated at Shiners with back brace), shoulder - dislocated, knee - 3x and an MRI, dislocated 3 times, multiple sprained ankles...LOL I'm a walking disaster.
Yummy foods I make: Just about any baked good. LOVE decorating cakes, hate cleaning up afterward.
Zodiac sign: Sagittarius
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Branching out
So I've been a Softset girl my whole "pumping" life. Sure I've tried the odd silhouette style sets here and there. Love their low-profile, hate that they leak like a sieve on me after a day.
So being the "new and improved", "daring, willing to try new things" diabetic Sarah (who used her hip for the first time 2 days ago!!), I decided to order me some Quicksets. Came in today.
I tore into that package like a kid at Christmas (am I the only one who gets all excited about new D toys). SO anyway, there I am with this surprisingly small box for the infusion sets and even smaller box for the inserter. Take a set out. I'm all excited...Then....Wait..Does this go here? What the heck is this blue crap, do I pull this off? Oh, crap I guess not, there goes the needle. 1 set trashed, maybe, just maybe I should read the instructions.
I never felt so dumb in my life. These sets had me completely stumped. Took me a good 15mintues to get it all worked out. Its in now, I'm happy, absolutely no pain on insertion (someone please extend my delusion that they all go in that painlessly!!). Took another minute or 2 (and more reading of the directions...ugh, I'm such a women!) to figure out the disconnect, but so far "Mikey Likes!"
So being the "new and improved", "daring, willing to try new things" diabetic Sarah (who used her hip for the first time 2 days ago!!), I decided to order me some Quicksets. Came in today.
I tore into that package like a kid at Christmas (am I the only one who gets all excited about new D toys). SO anyway, there I am with this surprisingly small box for the infusion sets and even smaller box for the inserter. Take a set out. I'm all excited...Then....Wait..Does this go here? What the heck is this blue crap, do I pull this off? Oh, crap I guess not, there goes the needle. 1 set trashed, maybe, just maybe I should read the instructions.
I never felt so dumb in my life. These sets had me completely stumped. Took me a good 15mintues to get it all worked out. Its in now, I'm happy, absolutely no pain on insertion (someone please extend my delusion that they all go in that painlessly!!). Took another minute or 2 (and more reading of the directions...ugh, I'm such a women!) to figure out the disconnect, but so far "Mikey Likes!"
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
It was Inevitable
Lastest google search leading here:
pillsbury biscuit dough tube explosion
:)
And yes, I'm afraid of biscuit dough tubes!
pillsbury biscuit dough tube explosion
:)
And yes, I'm afraid of biscuit dough tubes!
Jump for joy or cry?
Don't know which I should do. I finally installed my One Touch Software here at work and am enthralled with it. I'm sure the more I play, the more I will find the preset reports to be too limiting, but for now, I'm in love. This is why I'm jumping for joy.
Crying - well, I've got all my readings, or lack there off, staring me right in the face. Then there's the statistics...Out of 51 readings, only 24% were within range.
24 - freakin %!!! No wonder my A1C was in the crapper last time it was done. Its amazing how having all the information right there staring you in the face makes you snap to attention.
Then, to add insult to injury,I printed out my CalorieKing diaries to get the food data into the software. Holy CRAP, I need to stop eating out. First off, some "meals" had more calories then I should consume in a day, and I've yet to even come close to guessing the carb count correctly.
Diabetes - 1 Sarah - 0 (bring it on!)
Let the games begin!!!
Crying - well, I've got all my readings, or lack there off, staring me right in the face. Then there's the statistics...Out of 51 readings, only 24% were within range.
24 - freakin %!!! No wonder my A1C was in the crapper last time it was done. Its amazing how having all the information right there staring you in the face makes you snap to attention.
Then, to add insult to injury,I printed out my CalorieKing diaries to get the food data into the software. Holy CRAP, I need to stop eating out. First off, some "meals" had more calories then I should consume in a day, and I've yet to even come close to guessing the carb count correctly.
Diabetes - 1 Sarah - 0 (bring it on!)
Let the games begin!!!
Friday, April 21, 2006
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
I QUIT
I had one of those nights last night. Those nights where you wish you could just pull the covers over your head and forget about this whole D thing. Honestly, I did pull the covers over my head, but I couldn't forget, damn it!
I'd been running high ALL DAY. Not once did I get below 250. Not.Freakin.Once.
Normal person - this is a no brainer, change site, change insulin, bolus and watch the bs drop down to normal.
Psycho Sarah - get pissed, get rebellious, refuse to change site, continue bolusing into what is already a painful site, get sick, go to bed saying "Screw all of this, I'll deal with it in the morning".
Lie in bed for 2 hours feeling horrible and wishing my heart would stop racing (from the high, anger, both?). Come very, very close to ripping the pump off and throwing it down the stairs. Resign myself that I cannot ignore it any longer (this was "normal Sarah" trying desperately to take over) and go downstairs, spend 5 minutes changing my site and am in bed and a sleep within a 1/2 hr.
WHY IN THE HELL DO I DO THIS?????????!!!!!!!!!!
Some days, I don't know what in the hell is wrong with me. Most days I can handle a high, treat however necessary and get on with it. Others...I dunno. Unexplained highs will just royally piss me off. I somehow see them as a reflection of a failure - and I.Hate.Failing.
Luckily, today, I'm back. I'm me. I'm sane and I'm generally below 150 (although the unexplained 156 at lunch sent a little Dr Jekyll back into me).
I'd been running high ALL DAY. Not once did I get below 250. Not.Freakin.Once.
Normal person - this is a no brainer, change site, change insulin, bolus and watch the bs drop down to normal.
Psycho Sarah - get pissed, get rebellious, refuse to change site, continue bolusing into what is already a painful site, get sick, go to bed saying "Screw all of this, I'll deal with it in the morning".
Lie in bed for 2 hours feeling horrible and wishing my heart would stop racing (from the high, anger, both?). Come very, very close to ripping the pump off and throwing it down the stairs. Resign myself that I cannot ignore it any longer (this was "normal Sarah" trying desperately to take over) and go downstairs, spend 5 minutes changing my site and am in bed and a sleep within a 1/2 hr.
WHY IN THE HELL DO I DO THIS?????????!!!!!!!!!!
Some days, I don't know what in the hell is wrong with me. Most days I can handle a high, treat however necessary and get on with it. Others...I dunno. Unexplained highs will just royally piss me off. I somehow see them as a reflection of a failure - and I.Hate.Failing.
Luckily, today, I'm back. I'm me. I'm sane and I'm generally below 150 (although the unexplained 156 at lunch sent a little Dr Jekyll back into me).
I am: bored
I want: to go home
I wish: I was 100 pounds lighter
I hate: unexplained highs
I miss: sleeping (DD's been on a sleep strike)
I fear: failure
I hear: coworkers on the phone and a truck outside
I wonder: when/if there will ever be a D cure
I regret: nothing, really
I am not: always as happy as I pretend to be
I dance: like no one is watching
I sing: as soon as I'm in the car
I cry: constantly
I am not always: neat.
I make with my hands: awesome baked goods that I shouldn't eat.
I write: to let out feelings I could never say outloud
I confuse: who I am with who I think people want me to be
I need: to be able to spend more time with SWCAL
I should: stop procrastinating
I start: supper every night
I finish: most things on time
I want: to go home
I wish: I was 100 pounds lighter
I hate: unexplained highs
I miss: sleeping (DD's been on a sleep strike)
I fear: failure
I hear: coworkers on the phone and a truck outside
I wonder: when/if there will ever be a D cure
I regret: nothing, really
I am not: always as happy as I pretend to be
I dance: like no one is watching
I sing: as soon as I'm in the car
I cry: constantly
I am not always: neat.
I make with my hands: awesome baked goods that I shouldn't eat.
I write: to let out feelings I could never say outloud
I confuse: who I am with who I think people want me to be
I need: to be able to spend more time with SWCAL
I should: stop procrastinating
I start: supper every night
I finish: most things on time
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Baby to English Translation
There's some days where I would give anything to understand exactly what SWCAL is saying to me. She definitely has her own langauge. Certain words she says constantly, like -
"galub-ba-lub!" - this is ALWAYS a statement and I'm guessing generally means - "Give me what you have!" (usually spoken when we are eating or drinking something)
Then there's...
"Gually-ga?" - This one is always spoken as a question.
Then there's the totally random "talking" that occurs in the car after she's said "ma!" 100 times and I've said "what?" 101 times. I generally wait for "galub-ba-lub" or "gually-ga" and respond accordingly.
This post doesn't have a point....I just don't ever want to forget about "galub-ba-lub!" and "gually-ga"
"galub-ba-lub!" - this is ALWAYS a statement and I'm guessing generally means - "Give me what you have!" (usually spoken when we are eating or drinking something)
Then there's...
"Gually-ga?" - This one is always spoken as a question.
Then there's the totally random "talking" that occurs in the car after she's said "ma!" 100 times and I've said "what?" 101 times. I generally wait for "galub-ba-lub" or "gually-ga" and respond accordingly.
This post doesn't have a point....I just don't ever want to forget about "galub-ba-lub!" and "gually-ga"
Monday, April 17, 2006
Friday, April 14, 2006
Penance for Yesterday
So DH said yesterday's post was pretty lame..LOL Seriously though, have you ever gotten to that point of utter, complete lack of will from the never-ending tedium of having NOTHING to do, while you're stuck for 9 hours at a desk. I'm talking flipping through windows, trying to look busy, can't even think of anything to surf for on the web, boredom??! Whole WORLD-WIDE WEB and I couldn't think of a single topic to research...Heck, I've got a million things I could look for now and of course, I'm busy now, which would mean I shouldn't be writing this, but oh well. I could start planning the "its never gonna happen" trip to Bora Bora, look for new caches in and around my area, learn about Indian (as in India) culture, relive my trip to Alaska...You get the point.
I don't have anything insightful today, except to tell you all that the little person inside my head, that regularly cracks me up, is currently chanting "Neener, Neener, neener....I don't have to work on Monday!! I don't have to work on Monday!!! Neener, Neener Neener" She's got a pretty cool dance to it too.
Love IT!
I don't have anything insightful today, except to tell you all that the little person inside my head, that regularly cracks me up, is currently chanting "Neener, Neener, neener....I don't have to work on Monday!! I don't have to work on Monday!!! Neener, Neener Neener" She's got a pretty cool dance to it too.
Love IT!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Random Thoughts
Is it technically possible to die of boredom? I'm pretty sure I'm teetering on the edge.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Give me a break!!!
Officer cites 82-year-old woman for being too slow to negotiate busy street
"Mayvis Coyle, 82, was shuffling with her cane across busy Foothill Boulevard while a traffic police officer watched and waited.
And watched and waited.
Even before Coyle finished crossing the intersection at Woodward Avenue, he had scribbled a $114 ticket for crossing against a don't-walk signal. "I entered the crosswalk, it was green," said Coyle, of Sunland, who is fighting the infraction issued Feb. 15. "It turned red before I could get over. There he was, waiting, the motorcycle cop.
"He said, `You're obstructing the flow of traffic."' "
......And in a surprise twist, the awards for "Dumbest Cop of the Year" & "Least Likely to Have Ever Been a Boy Scout" goes too....Officer Kelly
"Mayvis Coyle, 82, was shuffling with her cane across busy Foothill Boulevard while a traffic police officer watched and waited.
And watched and waited.
Even before Coyle finished crossing the intersection at Woodward Avenue, he had scribbled a $114 ticket for crossing against a don't-walk signal. "I entered the crosswalk, it was green," said Coyle, of Sunland, who is fighting the infraction issued Feb. 15. "It turned red before I could get over. There he was, waiting, the motorcycle cop.
"He said, `You're obstructing the flow of traffic."' "
......And in a surprise twist, the awards for "Dumbest Cop of the Year" & "Least Likely to Have Ever Been a Boy Scout" goes too....Officer Kelly
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
YES!! A boredom killer
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Julia for ending the non-stop tedium of this day!!! LOL
"Go to Wikipedia and type in your birthday. Don't include the year. Record three events, three births and three deaths that happened on the day you were born."
EVENTS
1791 - The United States Bill of Rights becomes law when ratified by the Virginia legislature.
1891 - James Naismith introduces the first version of basketball, with thirteen rules, a peach basket nailed to either end of his school's gymnasium, and two teams of nine players. (and I've never been to the BBall Hall of Fame, even though its 5 minutes from my house!)
1994 - The web browser Netscape Navigator 1.0 is released.
DEATHS
1890 - Sitting Bull, Sioux nation leader (b. circa 1831)
1944? - Glenn Miller, American musician (b. 1904)
1966 - Walt Disney, American animator (b. 1901) - My hero :(
BIRTHS
1933 - Tim Conway, American actor and comedian
1949 - Don Johnson, American actor
1967 - Mo Vaughn, American baseball player - GO SOX!!!!!!
"Go to Wikipedia and type in your birthday. Don't include the year. Record three events, three births and three deaths that happened on the day you were born."
EVENTS
1791 - The United States Bill of Rights becomes law when ratified by the Virginia legislature.
1891 - James Naismith introduces the first version of basketball, with thirteen rules, a peach basket nailed to either end of his school's gymnasium, and two teams of nine players. (and I've never been to the BBall Hall of Fame, even though its 5 minutes from my house!)
1994 - The web browser Netscape Navigator 1.0 is released.
DEATHS
1890 - Sitting Bull, Sioux nation leader (b. circa 1831)
1944? - Glenn Miller, American musician (b. 1904)
1966 - Walt Disney, American animator (b. 1901) - My hero :(
BIRTHS
1933 - Tim Conway, American actor and comedian
1949 - Don Johnson, American actor
1967 - Mo Vaughn, American baseball player - GO SOX!!!!!!
Monday, April 10, 2006
"Edit-Me"
Why do those 2 words under my Links section send a shiver up my spine? "Edit-me"...Its calling to me, sinisterly, so full of potential, yet completely lacking in any direction or suggestion.
Is it because I feel pressured, unsure of myself or my choices? What should I link too? What I put there reflects on me. Do I relink my old digiscrapping kit? That just seems old and tired, definitely not how I want to feel. Do I add more links to D related topics? Well then, that might allow people to think that I'm more activist then I've ever really been. So what, do I link? Or, are the word's speaking to me, directly to me....Edit Sarah, but how or better yet, why? Do I edit the link, or take those 2 words to heart - edit "me".
If I could edit me, what would I edit? My weight? Well, shit, that's a given. D? Um, hell ya, screw the whole "D made me who I am" - I know who I am, and I don't need D teaching me any more lessons, thank you very much. But other then that, is there anything about ME, Sarah, the person, that I would edit? I really don't think so. I'm happy with who I am, where I am. Are there things I wish for? Yes. Like winning the lottery (even though I don't play) and being a SAHM (even thought I'd go nuts after a week). But those aren't me. I don't ever dream about being a different person, never. Is that normal? Do I need editing?
"Edit-me"
Is it because I feel pressured, unsure of myself or my choices? What should I link too? What I put there reflects on me. Do I relink my old digiscrapping kit? That just seems old and tired, definitely not how I want to feel. Do I add more links to D related topics? Well then, that might allow people to think that I'm more activist then I've ever really been. So what, do I link? Or, are the word's speaking to me, directly to me....Edit Sarah, but how or better yet, why? Do I edit the link, or take those 2 words to heart - edit "me".
If I could edit me, what would I edit? My weight? Well, shit, that's a given. D? Um, hell ya, screw the whole "D made me who I am" - I know who I am, and I don't need D teaching me any more lessons, thank you very much. But other then that, is there anything about ME, Sarah, the person, that I would edit? I really don't think so. I'm happy with who I am, where I am. Are there things I wish for? Yes. Like winning the lottery (even though I don't play) and being a SAHM (even thought I'd go nuts after a week). But those aren't me. I don't ever dream about being a different person, never. Is that normal? Do I need editing?
"Edit-me"
I wish I took a picture
So we got a backpack carrier for "She Who Cries A Lot" (SWCAL) this weekend. Its pretty nice, actually fits my "round" body, and seems quite comfy. Oh, did I mention, it was FREE!! (freecycle.org ROCKS!!).
Ok, here comes the part where I should've taken a pic. We put A in it, she's screaming the entire time. DH figures out how to get it up onto his back, and starts walking around the kitchen. The entire time, A has the most pathetic looking face on and is whimpering "Up, up, up, up, up, up, up", ("up" is used for both up and down), while she clutches her "bankies". (yes, I'm telling I took delight in my child's misery, honestly what else is a parent to do?). I asked her if she was having fun, and got a quiet, quivering "yez". We took her out after that...
Hmmm, what do you think? 10 minutes, 3 times a day, should get her used to it?
We got it so that we could start Geo-caching again. If you don't know what geo-caching is, YOU ARE MISSING OUT!!! Its great!!! Basically people place small "caches" in the woods, post the coordinates to it and you use your GPS to find it. The cache itself is nothing much (think McDonald's toys), but its usually placed along a nice hike, or at an amazing view. We'd like to take SWCAL with us, hence the carrier. Wish us luck next Saturday!
Ok, here comes the part where I should've taken a pic. We put A in it, she's screaming the entire time. DH figures out how to get it up onto his back, and starts walking around the kitchen. The entire time, A has the most pathetic looking face on and is whimpering "Up, up, up, up, up, up, up", ("up" is used for both up and down), while she clutches her "bankies". (yes, I'm telling I took delight in my child's misery, honestly what else is a parent to do?). I asked her if she was having fun, and got a quiet, quivering "yez". We took her out after that...
Hmmm, what do you think? 10 minutes, 3 times a day, should get her used to it?
We got it so that we could start Geo-caching again. If you don't know what geo-caching is, YOU ARE MISSING OUT!!! Its great!!! Basically people place small "caches" in the woods, post the coordinates to it and you use your GPS to find it. The cache itself is nothing much (think McDonald's toys), but its usually placed along a nice hike, or at an amazing view. We'd like to take SWCAL with us, hence the carrier. Wish us luck next Saturday!
Thursday, April 06, 2006
My biggest Secret
For years I've lived with this secret. To be exact - 12.5 yrs, I've lived with this secret. I am convinced I caused my diabetes. To understand, we have to travel back an additional 6 or 7 yrs.
I've always been tall. Always. I'm the same height now (5'10") as I was in 4th grade. As such, I've always towered over my friends and sometimes even my teachers. Being tall is great now, but back then I didn't feel tall, I felt F-A-T. Here I was probably 130-140lbs, which on 5'10" is actually skinny, but when you put me up against my friends who were lucky to break 5' and probably weighed 80lbs soaking wet, I just looked fat.
When I was around 9 or 10, one of my best friends (aren't all friends at that age, your "best") was diagnosed with T1 diabetes. I saw how her food had to be carefully weighed and measured and how limited she was in what she could eat (pre-"carb counting" days). I went home one night after spending the day with her and feeling incredibly fat and I actually - god I am literally shaking as I write this - wished and prayed that I would get diabetes, so that I would HAVE to follow a diet and would be skinny and petite like my friends.
I cry now for that little kid. How F'd up is society if a 9 yr old girl prays for a disease because she thinks she's fat?? I honestly saw D as my only way to lose weight. Nevermind that I swam competitively for over 6 months of the yr and was actually a normal weight for my height. That didn't matter, to me, I was fat, and D was my cure.
Skim forward a few yrs and I'm in the hospital. My sugar is 1500. I'm getting shots of insulin while I'm sitting at the registration desk at the hospital. Another shot as I ride the elevator up to my room. Oh, lucky me, I get a private room. The girl admitted right before me, should've gotten it, but since she was in a dka coma, well they put her with the 2 yr old (by comparasion her sugar was 900). Dr's are freaking out and I've suddenly become the side-show freak girl who's still walking and talking. I just wanted to eat lunch and would someone please bring me something to drink, dammit!!
I couldn't believe what was happening. I had lost a ton of weight and while I thought I looked great, apparently everyone else thought I had an eating disorder. I had all but forgotten about that night years ago. I had taken the diagnosis in stride. Didn't cry once that first day in the hospital, or the second, or third or even fourth. Not while I was practicing injections on oranges, not while I gave myself that first shot. I didn't cry until my final night in the hospital when I remembered that little girl and her wish. Then I cried and cried and cried. I did this to myself. This was ALL MY FAULT.
Ever since, I've felt like I can't complain about my D. I have to be the "well adjusted", accepting Sarah. The "ya, I've got D, but its really not that bad", "I'm fine" Sarah. This wasn't something that just happened. This was something I willed on myself so I best shut up, put a smile on my face and get on with it.
Fast forward to today, and D is my curse. Since my diagnosis I've gained well over 100 pounds from a combination of lack of exercise, poor food choices, and oh ya a little thing called Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome which causes severe insulin resistance which in turn causes weight gain, which requires more insulin, which leads to more weight gain and up and up goes the scale. And all this time, I've NEVER told anyone about that night so many years ago. And now here I am telling the world my deepest, darkest secret.
Now if I can only hit the publish button.
I've always been tall. Always. I'm the same height now (5'10") as I was in 4th grade. As such, I've always towered over my friends and sometimes even my teachers. Being tall is great now, but back then I didn't feel tall, I felt F-A-T. Here I was probably 130-140lbs, which on 5'10" is actually skinny, but when you put me up against my friends who were lucky to break 5' and probably weighed 80lbs soaking wet, I just looked fat.
When I was around 9 or 10, one of my best friends (aren't all friends at that age, your "best") was diagnosed with T1 diabetes. I saw how her food had to be carefully weighed and measured and how limited she was in what she could eat (pre-"carb counting" days). I went home one night after spending the day with her and feeling incredibly fat and I actually - god I am literally shaking as I write this - wished and prayed that I would get diabetes, so that I would HAVE to follow a diet and would be skinny and petite like my friends.
I cry now for that little kid. How F'd up is society if a 9 yr old girl prays for a disease because she thinks she's fat?? I honestly saw D as my only way to lose weight. Nevermind that I swam competitively for over 6 months of the yr and was actually a normal weight for my height. That didn't matter, to me, I was fat, and D was my cure.
Skim forward a few yrs and I'm in the hospital. My sugar is 1500. I'm getting shots of insulin while I'm sitting at the registration desk at the hospital. Another shot as I ride the elevator up to my room. Oh, lucky me, I get a private room. The girl admitted right before me, should've gotten it, but since she was in a dka coma, well they put her with the 2 yr old (by comparasion her sugar was 900). Dr's are freaking out and I've suddenly become the side-show freak girl who's still walking and talking. I just wanted to eat lunch and would someone please bring me something to drink, dammit!!
I couldn't believe what was happening. I had lost a ton of weight and while I thought I looked great, apparently everyone else thought I had an eating disorder. I had all but forgotten about that night years ago. I had taken the diagnosis in stride. Didn't cry once that first day in the hospital, or the second, or third or even fourth. Not while I was practicing injections on oranges, not while I gave myself that first shot. I didn't cry until my final night in the hospital when I remembered that little girl and her wish. Then I cried and cried and cried. I did this to myself. This was ALL MY FAULT.
Ever since, I've felt like I can't complain about my D. I have to be the "well adjusted", accepting Sarah. The "ya, I've got D, but its really not that bad", "I'm fine" Sarah. This wasn't something that just happened. This was something I willed on myself so I best shut up, put a smile on my face and get on with it.
Fast forward to today, and D is my curse. Since my diagnosis I've gained well over 100 pounds from a combination of lack of exercise, poor food choices, and oh ya a little thing called Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome which causes severe insulin resistance which in turn causes weight gain, which requires more insulin, which leads to more weight gain and up and up goes the scale. And all this time, I've NEVER told anyone about that night so many years ago. And now here I am telling the world my deepest, darkest secret.
Now if I can only hit the publish button.
So what does this mean?
Seeing as how I get an inside scoop on the Healthcare biz, I've had my DH ask around about this new MA Universal Healthcare Plan. Where I was freaking out yesterday, I'm getting mildly less concerned today.
Apparently, according to this Boston Globe article these "universal" plans still cannot bypass the madatory coverages for infertility (and assuming if they have to cover infert, that they'd have to cover diabetes).
What I would give to spend some time with that bill (but I don't think my employer would be too happy with me doing that here ;) ). Not that it would help entirely, since the government still hasn't even seen an actual plan offering from the major insurers.
If they can't charge deductibles, then what in the heck are these plans going to look like? $100 copays for office visits? If that's the case, what's the point of having any insurance if you still can't afford to use it.
Apparently, according to this Boston Globe article these "universal" plans still cannot bypass the madatory coverages for infertility (and assuming if they have to cover infert, that they'd have to cover diabetes).
What I would give to spend some time with that bill (but I don't think my employer would be too happy with me doing that here ;) ). Not that it would help entirely, since the government still hasn't even seen an actual plan offering from the major insurers.
If they can't charge deductibles, then what in the heck are these plans going to look like? $100 copays for office visits? If that's the case, what's the point of having any insurance if you still can't afford to use it.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Stolen from Six Until Me
Top Five Non-Diabetes Related Websites
www.youtube.com
www.flickr.com
www.connected-moms.com
www.google.com
any site not connected to work - ie any site not related to a utility or utility regulation.
Top Five Reasons You’re Grinning Today
Its almost time to go home
This IM comment from my Assit - "since when are grown adults incapable of sticking a piece of paper in an envelope, putting postage on it and putting it in a basket?"
Other then that, nothing...Blew my blog to bits today and have to start from scratch.
Top Five Uses for Bacon Bits
Salads
Burgers
Potato Salad
Eggs
Cheese Soup!
Top Five Places You Want to Travel To
Australia
Italy
Greece
Germany
Bora Bora
Top Five Guilty Pleasures
Scottsdale, AZ Princess Resort
Warm Chocolate Chip Cookies
Well really ANYTHING chocolate
um, chocolate
and, oh ya, chocolate
www.youtube.com
www.flickr.com
www.connected-moms.com
www.google.com
any site not connected to work - ie any site not related to a utility or utility regulation.
Top Five Reasons You’re Grinning Today
Its almost time to go home
This IM comment from my Assit - "since when are grown adults incapable of sticking a piece of paper in an envelope, putting postage on it and putting it in a basket?"
Other then that, nothing...Blew my blog to bits today and have to start from scratch.
Top Five Uses for Bacon Bits
Salads
Burgers
Potato Salad
Eggs
Cheese Soup!
Top Five Places You Want to Travel To
Australia
Italy
Greece
Germany
Bora Bora
Top Five Guilty Pleasures
Scottsdale, AZ Princess Resort
Warm Chocolate Chip Cookies
Well really ANYTHING chocolate
um, chocolate
and, oh ya, chocolate
New Look
Ok, I've been spending WAY too much time trying to fix the old layout. I've just grabbed any ole template for the time being (since I screwed the old one so badly that it just showed the code instead of my posts and I don't have a backup here at work).
Hoping to redesign my header and color scheme tonight. IE still having issues with the sidebar fonts...sigh.
Hoping to redesign my header and color scheme tonight. IE still having issues with the sidebar fonts...sigh.
MA version of S1955
Be afraid, be VERY afraid.
My initial thought, hell my ONLY thought is - What is going to stop EVERY employer from offering these low cost, basically no coverage policies? Or better yet, from just paying the $295/employee penalty for not offering ANY insurance?
Sure there's the "crappy benefits = no qualified person wanting to work for you", but you know what, we all have to work, so the odds are still stacked in the employers favor.
I'm seriously at a loss for words. I don't think I can express my fear of losing pump coverage, insulin coverage, TEST STRIPS!!
In a way, I'm lucky right now. DH works for the health insurance company. They have a vested interest keeping their costs down, which includes keeping me healthy now.
My initial thought, hell my ONLY thought is - What is going to stop EVERY employer from offering these low cost, basically no coverage policies? Or better yet, from just paying the $295/employee penalty for not offering ANY insurance?
Sure there's the "crappy benefits = no qualified person wanting to work for you", but you know what, we all have to work, so the odds are still stacked in the employers favor.
I'm seriously at a loss for words. I don't think I can express my fear of losing pump coverage, insulin coverage, TEST STRIPS!!
In a way, I'm lucky right now. DH works for the health insurance company. They have a vested interest keeping their costs down, which includes keeping me healthy now.
New England - Land of the Schizophrenic Weather
This weekend - 80°' s
Today - 2-5" of F*&^ing snow
and the Sox lost. We must be masochists
'nuff said.
Today - 2-5" of F*&^ing snow
and the Sox lost. We must be masochists
'nuff said.
Monday, April 03, 2006
WHy I hate Internet Explorer
Ok, so maybe hate is a strong word, but if any CSS savy person out there can tell my why my sidebar is suddlenly freaking out and getting REAL tiny, I'd be eternally grateful.
I really don't have the patience to learn CSS, although I am getting more adept at it!
Thanks!
I really don't have the patience to learn CSS, although I am getting more adept at it!
Thanks!
Sunday, April 02, 2006
17 Months!
Today you turn 17 months!! It's amazing what you learned this month. You're trying to jump. You bounce and bounce and bounce, but those darned feet just refuse to leave the ground. You can now say in addition to momma, dada, doggie, kitty, cheese and juice - bubbles ("baaaabaas"), baby ("bebe"), pepere ("pepay"), please ("pfeas"), cheerios ("cheooos"), "uh-oh", and your favorite mine ("minfs"). EVERYTHING is minfs. Minfs kefs, minfs juz, minfs momma...
You drove me a tad nuts this month too, honey. You again fell in weight percentiles. You're now only in the 3rd. That freaked me out enough to bring you to the Pediatric GI and nutritionist. I couldn't believe my luck, but I was able to get in with both only 2 days after calling instead of months and months later. So far they think you're just a tiny, but healthy thing. We're going to have bloodwork done soon (you're not going to like that!).
You stayed with your Grampy and Uncle Jeff and Aunt Amanda overnight this month. Mommy and daddy had to go to a wedding in CT. They say you were a little angel. I'm still waiting for the true story.
You're a little ham now. You love to get people's attention by running around and then pretending to fall. You generally stop, fall to 1 knee, say "uh-oh", then tumble to your tummy. Sometimes you don't even get to a standing before you're "falling" again.
You're currently on another food strike. The Nutritionist claims that we should offer you supper and leave it at that. She claims one day you will actually eat it, but for now we're happy if you just don't fling it from the highchair. (please honey, you do need to eat SOMETHING! Really honey, most toddlers LOVE cookies and ice cream...give it a try)
We don't take you out to eat anymore. You're just too spirited to be contained by a highchair. You want to get out and explore, Explore, EXPLORE!! I love your spunk and fearlessness. Unlike most toddlers, you're not afraid of new surroundings or people. You may stick close to me at first, but before I can blink you're off exploring! Please don't lose that quest for adventure.
Happy 17 months!
Love, Mommy - whose off to put you and your screaming, crying butt to bed right now.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Dixie Girl?
This was a fun quiz!!! Are you a Yankee or a Rebel?
5% Dixie. You are as Yankee as they get!!
Damn straight!!! Born and raised in Western MA.
5% Dixie. You are as Yankee as they get!!
Damn straight!!! Born and raised in Western MA.
Anyone got a cure??
No not a D cure, although I wouldn't toss that to the curb....What I'm dying for, what I REALLY need, this immediate moment is a cure for the common cold. I am MISERABLE. Its been a week now. A week of being so congested my ears pop each time I swallow. A week of sounding as if my vocal cords have been shredded. I can't swallow, I can't breath, I can't hear. I'm coming very close to disappearing in an avalanche of used tissues (speaking of which, I just ran out. Great, back to TP). DayQuill isn't even touching it. This is ridiculous! I don't think I've ever had a cold this bad!! How long can it possibly last??????????????
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Fear of the Day
I am terrified, literally terrified of refridgerated tubes of biscuit dough. The sudden explosion with no warning, the audible POP. Terrified. I pretty much refuse to open them. If DH isn't home, we ain't having rolls! I might as well be holding a lit firecracker with no visible fuse, thats how scared I am.
Just another glimpse into my wacked-out mind~
Just another glimpse into my wacked-out mind~
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
The Plague
This sucks. Either I've got round 2 of the plague from last week, or a brand-spanking new form of the plague.
I can't tell you how annoying this is. Can someone please pull my head out of the bucket of water its apparently in? What's that you say? No, seriously, what? I can't hear you. I can't hear anything but the ocean in my head. Maybe I'm turning into a hermit crab, kindof like how that guy turned into a giant cockroach in Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka.
Sleeping was 1,000 ways of fun last night. No tissues in the house, so I slept hugging my trusty roll of TP. Does a nose wonders! By the way, as a word of warning, the Kleenex antiviral tissues (stopped at the grocery store this morning), giving the TP a run of its money in the "slowly disintegrating the skin on my nose" contest.
Ally better not get this. She can't afford to get sick again. OH! I got her in with the Ped GI's. Appt's tomorrow. Talk about luck, I called right after a cancellation. If not, they were booking end of May/beginning of June.
Off to drug up. Serenity Now!
I can't tell you how annoying this is. Can someone please pull my head out of the bucket of water its apparently in? What's that you say? No, seriously, what? I can't hear you. I can't hear anything but the ocean in my head. Maybe I'm turning into a hermit crab, kindof like how that guy turned into a giant cockroach in Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka.
Sleeping was 1,000 ways of fun last night. No tissues in the house, so I slept hugging my trusty roll of TP. Does a nose wonders! By the way, as a word of warning, the Kleenex antiviral tissues (stopped at the grocery store this morning), giving the TP a run of its money in the "slowly disintegrating the skin on my nose" contest.
Ally better not get this. She can't afford to get sick again. OH! I got her in with the Ped GI's. Appt's tomorrow. Talk about luck, I called right after a cancellation. If not, they were booking end of May/beginning of June.
Off to drug up. Serenity Now!
Friday, March 24, 2006
Hey Mom, Whatcha taken a Picture of?
Playing with my new, shiney flickr account. Figured what a better way to test it out, then with a funny picture of A.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Now this deserves my attention
Unwed Fathers Fight for Babies Placed for Adoption by Mothers By TAMAR LEWIN
Published: March 19, 2006
Now this, this is truly a worthy cause. Here are men, standing up wanting their children, children that they may have never known existed and here we are in the US just obliterating their rights.
In my book, the pendulum swings both ways. If a women is going to have sex, knowing full well that any baby she has will go up for adoption, then the burden of contacting all potential fathers before an adoption takes place should be be on her shoulders. Men should not have to register each and every time they have sex....How absurd is that?? And seriously, if you don't know who the father of your child is, you've got bigger emotional issues then the need for a quick adoption.
This burns me just as much, probably more, then the twit who wants the Supreme Court to release him of his "fatherly duties" because he didn't want the baby.
Published: March 19, 2006
Now this, this is truly a worthy cause. Here are men, standing up wanting their children, children that they may have never known existed and here we are in the US just obliterating their rights.
In my book, the pendulum swings both ways. If a women is going to have sex, knowing full well that any baby she has will go up for adoption, then the burden of contacting all potential fathers before an adoption takes place should be be on her shoulders. Men should not have to register each and every time they have sex....How absurd is that?? And seriously, if you don't know who the father of your child is, you've got bigger emotional issues then the need for a quick adoption.
This burns me just as much, probably more, then the twit who wants the Supreme Court to release him of his "fatherly duties" because he didn't want the baby.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Stupid Quote of the Day
"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President
Brought to you by the makers of TheraFlu, who, medically, has given me the ability to breath air without tiny, little daggers attacking my throat, but has fully taken away my ability to put a coherent thought together.
A has successfully brought the plague down on us. I was hoping to come up with some funny "and the heavens became hell and the sun stop shining, and trolls overtake the earth... but, ya, the brain power was not stringing that together this morning.
DH and I are sick, A's got another ear infection and she's lost weight. JC! I was hoping to crack that freakin 20lbs mark...Nope 19 lbs 7 ounces. We're now off the chart for weight...GRRRRRRRR!!! This child of mine went from 10lbs 4.8 oz at birth (and yes, my bs's were SPECTACULAR during pg - highest A1c was 6.4%, all others in the 5;s) which was off the charts at around 99%, to 19 lbs 7 ounces at just about 17 months, which put her off the bottom of the charts (somewhere around 2-3%). She still hasn't doubled her birth weight!!!!!!!!!
Wow, that's one meandering thought there! And I'm going to work today! LOL
- George Bush, former U.S. President
Brought to you by the makers of TheraFlu, who, medically, has given me the ability to breath air without tiny, little daggers attacking my throat, but has fully taken away my ability to put a coherent thought together.
A has successfully brought the plague down on us. I was hoping to come up with some funny "and the heavens became hell and the sun stop shining, and trolls overtake the earth... but, ya, the brain power was not stringing that together this morning.
DH and I are sick, A's got another ear infection and she's lost weight. JC! I was hoping to crack that freakin 20lbs mark...Nope 19 lbs 7 ounces. We're now off the chart for weight...GRRRRRRRR!!! This child of mine went from 10lbs 4.8 oz at birth (and yes, my bs's were SPECTACULAR during pg - highest A1c was 6.4%, all others in the 5;s) which was off the charts at around 99%, to 19 lbs 7 ounces at just about 17 months, which put her off the bottom of the charts (somewhere around 2-3%). She still hasn't doubled her birth weight!!!!!!!!!
Wow, that's one meandering thought there! And I'm going to work today! LOL
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Just Great
| You Are 18 Years Old |
 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. . |
I'm a teenager again. I guess that explains the current breakout of acne and mood swings.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Say it with me....Sick Again!
A's got another cold and probably another ear infection. Daycare just called to inform me that her fever's back, she's crying and now is pulling on her left ear. Can't she catch a break? It seems like all she does is get sick. Its one of those "ironic" things that aren't really ironic, (hey if Alanis Morrisette can take that literary jump, so can I) that I have to put her in daycare so that I can work, yet the daycare itself makes her so sick, I can't work.
This motherhood thing really is a no-win situation. You're damned if you and damned if you don't.
We brought "she who cries a lot" to the mall the yesterday. We were going to bring her to the parade, but figured between her cold and the fact that neither one of us wanted to stand out in the butt-freezing cold, we wisely chose to push A's 1st parade off for another year. As a penance, we bought her a set of fridge magnets..a la Leap Frog.
This proved to be an endless source of fun for DH and I. How many sentences could we come up with using just each letter once. He had nice sentences like "John is calm", "Johns tired" (ok, no apostrophe, but hey I even gave him "John is kul").
Me, the only thing my demented head came up with was:
"John is a turd", then I expanded that lovely thought to "John is a flegmy turd"...Not at all spelled correctly, but had me laughing so hard, I almost fell on the floor.
And this man got me my battery last night!! Love, that's Love.
This motherhood thing really is a no-win situation. You're damned if you and damned if you don't.
We brought "she who cries a lot" to the mall the yesterday. We were going to bring her to the parade, but figured between her cold and the fact that neither one of us wanted to stand out in the butt-freezing cold, we wisely chose to push A's 1st parade off for another year. As a penance, we bought her a set of fridge magnets..a la Leap Frog.
This proved to be an endless source of fun for DH and I. How many sentences could we come up with using just each letter once. He had nice sentences like "John is calm", "Johns tired" (ok, no apostrophe, but hey I even gave him "John is kul").
Me, the only thing my demented head came up with was:
"John is a turd", then I expanded that lovely thought to "John is a flegmy turd"...Not at all spelled correctly, but had me laughing so hard, I almost fell on the floor.
And this man got me my battery last night!! Love, that's Love.
Some days I wonder....
Last night, my pumped beeped at me. That alone is not a strange event. The pump beeps at me all the time. The beep du jour was Low Battery. Roll over, scrounge through my nightstand drawer find a battery and a nickle...Beep, Beep, Beep...Low battery...What the F&ck!!! My nice, loving DH goes downstairs and finds me a new battery. While he was gone I got to thinking..."This is so weird". Here I am, in bed, awake, because a device that is PHYSICALLY ATTACHED to me, needs a battery. "Normal" people don't live like this...I can't even adequately describe how "abnormal" I suddenly felt. I felt like the Million Dollar Man, but in a bad way.
I had just finished watching an episode of the Soprano's, their life was more "normal" then mine.
I dunno, some days my head does some benders that send me spinning. Most days I don't even give my pump a second thought. Just last night, wow, it was weird ...or maybe I'm just weird.
I had just finished watching an episode of the Soprano's, their life was more "normal" then mine.
I dunno, some days my head does some benders that send me spinning. Most days I don't even give my pump a second thought. Just last night, wow, it was weird ...or maybe I'm just weird.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Go, Go, Go-go-go
12.5 yrs, you'd think I could just push that little button....12.5 yrs, you'd think I wouldn't have to have a countdown in my head, 12.5 yrs....
I guess time does not heal the un-natural act of piercing ones skin. It never fails. Whether with a syringe or an infusion set, I ALWAYS have to have a countdown. Always.
3, 2, 1......Ok, ok, 3...2...1......no....
Ok, this is it 3-2-1go-go-go-go-go
I guess time does not heal the un-natural act of piercing ones skin. It never fails. Whether with a syringe or an infusion set, I ALWAYS have to have a countdown. Always.
3, 2, 1......Ok, ok, 3...2...1......no....
Ok, this is it 3-2-1go-go-go-go-go
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Never Again
Never again, will I bring "She who cries a lot" with me to the dentist. I figured it would be a good way to introduce her...Ya right! She did her namesake proud. OMG, I've never heard her scream like that. The ENTIRE time. Top of her lungs, "I'm dying" screams and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't see her, I couldn't hold her, I couldn't even talk to her..
Iths obay ha-e aaa-ie ith rith heah....Ya not cutting it for her.
Receptionist tried stickers, books, songs - nada.
Dentist blamed it on "teething"...Um, no I think its the scary face masks and the fact that people are shoving their hands down mommy's throat. The freak out ended the second my cleaning was done. Dentist gave her a toothbrush, she smiled, said "kitty", shoved her nuby (paci) in her mouth and that was the end of it.
She was all smiles as we headed out the front door, and I'm pretty sure, as that door closed, I heard a small cheer from the office.
Iths obay ha-e aaa-ie ith rith heah....Ya not cutting it for her.
Receptionist tried stickers, books, songs - nada.
Dentist blamed it on "teething"...Um, no I think its the scary face masks and the fact that people are shoving their hands down mommy's throat. The freak out ended the second my cleaning was done. Dentist gave her a toothbrush, she smiled, said "kitty", shoved her nuby (paci) in her mouth and that was the end of it.
She was all smiles as we headed out the front door, and I'm pretty sure, as that door closed, I heard a small cheer from the office.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Dentist
I have to go to the dentist today. And, yes, I hate the dentist. The scraping, the buffing, the scraping, the cleaning, the scraping....Sends that shiver right up my spine. I'm not crazy about the thought of someone elses hand jammed in my mouth either. Glove or no, ewww.
Today, just to add to the misery, I have to take "She who cries a lot". This should be interesting. Hehe, maybe it'll make the cleaning go a tad bit faster. She's not gonna like sitting in her stroller the whole time. Gonna take A LOT of stickers for bribing, and I'm letting them supply the stickers ;).
Today, just to add to the misery, I have to take "She who cries a lot". This should be interesting. Hehe, maybe it'll make the cleaning go a tad bit faster. She's not gonna like sitting in her stroller the whole time. Gonna take A LOT of stickers for bribing, and I'm letting them supply the stickers ;).
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Tastes of Spring
This weekend it was in the mid 60°'s. It was amazing! We took A to her first park. She LOVED it! I've learned I have a little daredevil on my hands. No wussy baby slides for her! She only wanted to go down the biggest and fastest slides there. She'd skoosh her little butt right up to the edge, push off and throw her hands in the air like the most veteraned rollercoaster rider. Time after time she went down the slides with the biggest grin on her face.
It was so nice being outside. I've never been a fan of winter, and now being cooped up with a toddler, I hate it even more. These glimpses of spring are wonderful and horrible all rolled into one. Its amazing being outside, watching the everyone come out of their winter coccoon. Windows opening, fresh air in the house. Its horrible though, knowing the weather isn't here to stay, and winter is ready to pounce at any moment.
Tomorrow is that moment. Mid 50°'s today, low 30°'s tomorrow....sigh.
It was so nice being outside. I've never been a fan of winter, and now being cooped up with a toddler, I hate it even more. These glimpses of spring are wonderful and horrible all rolled into one. Its amazing being outside, watching the everyone come out of their winter coccoon. Windows opening, fresh air in the house. Its horrible though, knowing the weather isn't here to stay, and winter is ready to pounce at any moment.
Tomorrow is that moment. Mid 50°'s today, low 30°'s tomorrow....sigh.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Be a Man!
Men's Rights Group Eyes Child Support Stay
This pisses me off to NO end. I mean, full on shaking, want to scream and holler at this guy. Not because he wants "equal" rights. I won't even get into those politics.
What REALLY pisses me off, is that this poor, innocent, little girl will grow up knowing her father doesn't want her and is willing to go to the Supreme Court to prove how much he doesn't want her. What will that do to this girl's self-esteem as she grows? I couldn't imagine growing up with that knowledge.
I don't care if you're male or female....You do the horizontal mambo and you best be prepared to love and care for whatever happens 9 months later.
This pisses me off to NO end. I mean, full on shaking, want to scream and holler at this guy. Not because he wants "equal" rights. I won't even get into those politics.
What REALLY pisses me off, is that this poor, innocent, little girl will grow up knowing her father doesn't want her and is willing to go to the Supreme Court to prove how much he doesn't want her. What will that do to this girl's self-esteem as she grows? I couldn't imagine growing up with that knowledge.
I don't care if you're male or female....You do the horizontal mambo and you best be prepared to love and care for whatever happens 9 months later.
Feel Naked
I forgot my pocketbook at home today. I can't count the number of times I've been forgetting stuff at home lately. Last week alone I think I successfully got my lunch from the kitchen table to work 1x. One measly time. I made my lunch every morning, lovingly put it on the table, then promptly walked right out the door without.
This morning, I was overly concerned about not forgetting my egg salad. I kept reminding myself, "Don't forget the egg salad, don't forget the egg salad..." I didn't forget it. Left that pocketbook right there on the table though.
Thankfully, I haven't removed the tester from my Cozmo yet (score 1 for procrastination!) and I've got some Freestyle strips here, so I'm good on that end.
Bad news, I've got a mother of a headache, need caffeine and have NO $$.
This morning, I was overly concerned about not forgetting my egg salad. I kept reminding myself, "Don't forget the egg salad, don't forget the egg salad..." I didn't forget it. Left that pocketbook right there on the table though.
Thankfully, I haven't removed the tester from my Cozmo yet (score 1 for procrastination!) and I've got some Freestyle strips here, so I'm good on that end.
Bad news, I've got a mother of a headache, need caffeine and have NO $$.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Article about the Transplant
Newspaper Article About Transplant
A little annoyed that they didn't mention John or SIL (seeing as how they are family too), but all-in-all a good article.
A little annoyed that they didn't mention John or SIL (seeing as how they are family too), but all-in-all a good article.
Door Licking Cat
sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt
Not a nice noise to wake up to at 2am. It can only mean 1 thing. The damn cat is licking the damn door again. Once she gets going there's no stopping her. The only thing worse is when she finds a plastic bag to lick. ARGH! In my best, most authoratative voice, I scream (quietly - can't wake "She who cries a lot") "Knock it off cat or I will flambe you!".
sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt
Flambe?? Where the hell did that come from? Not punt you, not drop kick you, not toss you down the stairs (ok, before PETA comes a calling, I do not do those things to my cats - although I do picture it in my head!).
This had zero effect on her. First off, she has not clue what flambe means. She probably figured I was going to give her treats. And secondly, I called her cat, not Trinity. That, in her demented mind, left the possibility that I was talking to the other 2 cats, who might be licking doors....somewhere on the couch....downstairs.....sleeping.
sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt
"CAT!!!"
sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt
maaaaamaaaaaa!!maaaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaa!
maaaaaaaaammmmmmaaaaaaaaaa
shit.
Not a nice noise to wake up to at 2am. It can only mean 1 thing. The damn cat is licking the damn door again. Once she gets going there's no stopping her. The only thing worse is when she finds a plastic bag to lick. ARGH! In my best, most authoratative voice, I scream (quietly - can't wake "She who cries a lot") "Knock it off cat or I will flambe you!".
sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt
Flambe?? Where the hell did that come from? Not punt you, not drop kick you, not toss you down the stairs (ok, before PETA comes a calling, I do not do those things to my cats - although I do picture it in my head!).
This had zero effect on her. First off, she has not clue what flambe means. She probably figured I was going to give her treats. And secondly, I called her cat, not Trinity. That, in her demented mind, left the possibility that I was talking to the other 2 cats, who might be licking doors....somewhere on the couch....downstairs.....sleeping.
sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt
"CAT!!!"
sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt,sssssllllptt
maaaaamaaaaaa!!maaaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaa!
maaaaaaaaammmmmmaaaaaaaaaa
shit.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Scary Thoughts
I need to learn not to google things!
Last night I was playing on the computer and came across something about Julia Roberts and Retts Syndrome (if you don't know what it is, DON'T google it!). Ya, I googled and then got sick to my stomach. Not so much that I was worried that Ally had it, or would get it, but the realization hit me that nothing is guaranteed in life. The thought that something/anything could happen to Ally absolutely paralyzed me.
I wondered if this was how my parents felt when I was diagnosed. I feel like I took my dx quite well, almost matter-of-factly in an "Ok, so now what?" sort of fashion. I never considered what my parents went through. I can't even imagine...
Last night I was playing on the computer and came across something about Julia Roberts and Retts Syndrome (if you don't know what it is, DON'T google it!). Ya, I googled and then got sick to my stomach. Not so much that I was worried that Ally had it, or would get it, but the realization hit me that nothing is guaranteed in life. The thought that something/anything could happen to Ally absolutely paralyzed me.
I wondered if this was how my parents felt when I was diagnosed. I feel like I took my dx quite well, almost matter-of-factly in an "Ok, so now what?" sort of fashion. I never considered what my parents went through. I can't even imagine...
FIL is coming home!
6:15am
Phone rings...Phone ringing at 6:15am is never a good sign.
Luckily, this time it was. FIL called. He had already gone for 2 walks, packed his bags, laid out his clothes, razor and towels for a shower and was wondering when DH would be there to get him.
Its amazing how great he sounds. He even admitted that he feels like he's on nos or something. He's just now realizing how sick he must've been.
He should be home sometime this afternoon!
Phone rings...Phone ringing at 6:15am is never a good sign.
Luckily, this time it was. FIL called. He had already gone for 2 walks, packed his bags, laid out his clothes, razor and towels for a shower and was wondering when DH would be there to get him.
Its amazing how great he sounds. He even admitted that he feels like he's on nos or something. He's just now realizing how sick he must've been.
He should be home sometime this afternoon!
Sunday, March 05, 2006
BIL is Home!!!
Got released this morning. I'm sure it was quite a long ride home (its about 1.5 hrs). Couldn't imagine doing it while in pain!
FIL should be released Mon or Tues. Drs said that if he's rejection med levels were correct he could've gone home today too!!!!! A little more tinkering and he should be good to go.
Its amazing to see how well he is. And his color...O-M-G!!!! He used to look gray with an underlying yellow color, now he's all perky and pink and healthy looking. Its just amazing.
Ok, "Little Miss Cries A Lot" is squirming in her highchair.
FIL should be released Mon or Tues. Drs said that if he's rejection med levels were correct he could've gone home today too!!!!! A little more tinkering and he should be good to go.
Its amazing to see how well he is. And his color...O-M-G!!!! He used to look gray with an underlying yellow color, now he's all perky and pink and healthy looking. Its just amazing.
Ok, "Little Miss Cries A Lot" is squirming in her highchair.
Friday, March 03, 2006
pssst, Hey you! Want some sugar?
"You are so much more than the sum of your sugars...." - ArtSweet
I found this quote this morning, and it means soooooooo much to me. It's amazing how I attach who I am, with what the meter says. So much so, that I purposely don't test if I know it will be high. I cannot look at a high reading on the meter without equating it as somehow a failure of who I am as a person. Why do I do that?
I know my identity is in no way, shape or form, linked to my diabetes. I am Sarah, and I have diabetes, but I am NOT diabetes. Yet, that meter can make or break my day. One little display, which spits out a number in 5 seconds can literally make or break me.
I need to detach myself. 12.5 yrs and you'd think I know that those numbers have a mind of their own. I could be the model citizen of diabetes, and the numbers decide that I'm actually the drug dealer on the corner handing lollipops out in the land of D.
I found this quote this morning, and it means soooooooo much to me. It's amazing how I attach who I am, with what the meter says. So much so, that I purposely don't test if I know it will be high. I cannot look at a high reading on the meter without equating it as somehow a failure of who I am as a person. Why do I do that?
I know my identity is in no way, shape or form, linked to my diabetes. I am Sarah, and I have diabetes, but I am NOT diabetes. Yet, that meter can make or break my day. One little display, which spits out a number in 5 seconds can literally make or break me.
I need to detach myself. 12.5 yrs and you'd think I know that those numbers have a mind of their own. I could be the model citizen of diabetes, and the numbers decide that I'm actually the drug dealer on the corner handing lollipops out in the land of D.
Its My Own Damn Fault
Tired, I am so very, very tired!!! I haven't slept it seems since last Friday. I thought Tues, night I would FINALLY get a good nights sleep, knowing that FIL bleed was under control and that they were both doing well. Did I sleep?? NO! Why - cause I'm a freakin idiot!
My stupid site stopped working so I spent the night peeing every 40 minutes. Why didn't I just get up, change the site and go back to bed?? That's what a sane person would do, but apparently I am not a sane a person in the middle of the night. I fight it. I get beligerant and stubborn. It annoys the hell out of me. It takes all of 10 minutes to change a site, drop a bolus and go back to bed. Instead I stay in bed, AWAKE pretending I don't have to pee. I'm a freaking moron!
Tonight was better, but Twinkle Toes decided on a 5am wake-up call today. 5am was not part of my plan. I was actually planning on sleeping in and going to work at a "normal" hour. (I've been going in for 7-7:30am to at least pretend that I'm working 40 hr weeks right now).
Of course, with all the stress right now, my sugars have been WACKED OUT! I was 366 this morning 8O (that's my eyes popping out of my head!). Ugh.
My stupid site stopped working so I spent the night peeing every 40 minutes. Why didn't I just get up, change the site and go back to bed?? That's what a sane person would do, but apparently I am not a sane a person in the middle of the night. I fight it. I get beligerant and stubborn. It annoys the hell out of me. It takes all of 10 minutes to change a site, drop a bolus and go back to bed. Instead I stay in bed, AWAKE pretending I don't have to pee. I'm a freaking moron!
Tonight was better, but Twinkle Toes decided on a 5am wake-up call today. 5am was not part of my plan. I was actually planning on sleeping in and going to work at a "normal" hour. (I've been going in for 7-7:30am to at least pretend that I'm working 40 hr weeks right now).
Of course, with all the stress right now, my sugars have been WACKED OUT! I was 366 this morning 8O (that's my eyes popping out of my head!). Ugh.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Back to Lahey
We're off to visit BIL and FIL. Hoping to get some great quality time in with them both. According to our updates from SIL, they are both up and walking a bit. YAY
16 Months Old
Hey Ally. You turn 16 months today. Where has the time gone?? This past month has been a trying one all around. You won't remember, but pretty much as soon as you turned 15 months, you became quite the terror. You cried A LOT, you whined A LOT, you really, really perfected your temper tantrums (if I can ignore the screaming, its actually really funny watching you buck yourself around the livingroom on your back).
You also won't remember your Grampy and your favorite Uncle being in the hospital. Right before you turned 16 glorious months, your Uncle shared his liver with Grampy in what called a Live Liver Donation. It is really an amazing gift. Mommy and Daddy are sorry that they had to drag you all over creation the last few days, but you had some fun playing with your cousin.
We learned that you HATE, with a passion, H-A-T-E snow. It took Mommy over 20 minutes to bundle you all up, and we spent all of 5 minutes outside...and yes, Mommy's a tad colorblind. I was going for function over fashion.
You're such a big girl now. I can't believe how different you from a year ago. You can say "Momma", "Dadda", "Cat", "Dog", "Done", "Ya", "Keyes", you said "Miffy" last night and so many others that I'm forgetting right now. You understand just about everything we say to you and LOVE being read to.
Oh, The Wonderful Sounds Mr Brown Can DO was your absolute favorite. Mommy can recite my heart now, but Belly Buttons is quickly becoming your new favorite.
You've also grown enough hair that you can FINALLY put some up into a cute little pony-tail at the top of your head. You haven't kept it in long enough for Mommy to snap a picture, though.
Mommy and Daddy Love you!
P.S. - Mommy got the idea for this post from Dooce.com. Sorry she didn't think to do this sooner.
You also won't remember your Grampy and your favorite Uncle being in the hospital. Right before you turned 16 glorious months, your Uncle shared his liver with Grampy in what called a Live Liver Donation. It is really an amazing gift. Mommy and Daddy are sorry that they had to drag you all over creation the last few days, but you had some fun playing with your cousin.
We learned that you HATE, with a passion, H-A-T-E snow. It took Mommy over 20 minutes to bundle you all up, and we spent all of 5 minutes outside...and yes, Mommy's a tad colorblind. I was going for function over fashion.
You're such a big girl now. I can't believe how different you from a year ago. You can say "Momma", "Dadda", "Cat", "Dog", "Done", "Ya", "Keyes", you said "Miffy" last night and so many others that I'm forgetting right now. You understand just about everything we say to you and LOVE being read to.
Oh, The Wonderful Sounds Mr Brown Can DO was your absolute favorite. Mommy can recite my heart now, but Belly Buttons is quickly becoming your new favorite.
You've also grown enough hair that you can FINALLY put some up into a cute little pony-tail at the top of your head. You haven't kept it in long enough for Mommy to snap a picture, though.
Mommy and Daddy Love you!
P.S. - Mommy got the idea for this post from Dooce.com. Sorry she didn't think to do this sooner.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
T1 Diabetes
I'm constantly amazed at how I'm interested when I find out someone else has diabetes. Its like I'm meeting another member of some secret cult that a select few have joined.
I found out today that Elliot Yamin and Kevin Covais - 2 of the contestants on American Idol this yr are both diabetics. Elliot wears an insulin pump. I find this INCREDIBLY interesting and find myself routing for them regardless of their talent.
My DH thinks I'm off my rocker when stuff like this interests me, but seeing other people (whether I know them or not) who have this disease and know the ins and outs / ups and downs like I do, makes me feel less alone. I dunno, maybe you need to have it to understand....
I found out today that Elliot Yamin and Kevin Covais - 2 of the contestants on American Idol this yr are both diabetics. Elliot wears an insulin pump. I find this INCREDIBLY interesting and find myself routing for them regardless of their talent.
My DH thinks I'm off my rocker when stuff like this interests me, but seeing other people (whether I know them or not) who have this disease and know the ins and outs / ups and downs like I do, makes me feel less alone. I dunno, maybe you need to have it to understand....
Uhhh, ya...
| You Are Boston |
 Both modern and old school, you never forget your roots. Well educated and a little snobby, you demand the best. And quite frankly, you think you are the best. Famous people from the Boston area: Conan O'Brien, Ben Affleck, New Kids on the Block |
Found the link to this cute little quiz here
Snazzy blog about T1.
The Bleed has stopped!!
Such a huge relief has been lifted. We just got word that the internal bleed in FIL has been stopped by the platelets and drugs. They'll test him again in a few hours, but its looking like we've cleared this hurdle.
Ok, I think I've taken my first real breath in days! Now lets see if I actually sleep tonight! Can't wait to see them both tomorrow. I've been part of DH's family for just about 12 years now and it truly feels as if its my father and brother there.
Ok, I think I've taken my first real breath in days! Now lets see if I actually sleep tonight! Can't wait to see them both tomorrow. I've been part of DH's family for just about 12 years now and it truly feels as if its my father and brother there.
Drama..Too much drama
FIL has developed a bleed. We kindof saw the writing on the wall yesterday when he had to have 2 bags of blood for unknown reasons. Our fears were confirmed last night, after we got home. They gave him platelets throughout the night, hoping that it would "clog up the bleed". Unfortunately, last night we didn't know where the bleed was. I spent the night sick to my stomach that it was heading to the liver and that the new liver was getting starved of blood.
They found the source this morning. A small vessel that leads nowhere now, apparently wasn't closed completely. The liver is fine. The platelets slowed the bleed some, but hasn't stopped it. They are giving him more this morning along with some drugs hoping to slow it even more. If it does slow, they will continue that course of treatment. If it doesn't, he'll most likely go back into surgery to close it off.
I just keep telling myself that if he's still in his normal hospital room and not back in the ICU, then obviously its not that horrible. That's my mantra and I'm sticking to it!
I need sleep.....
They found the source this morning. A small vessel that leads nowhere now, apparently wasn't closed completely. The liver is fine. The platelets slowed the bleed some, but hasn't stopped it. They are giving him more this morning along with some drugs hoping to slow it even more. If it does slow, they will continue that course of treatment. If it doesn't, he'll most likely go back into surgery to close it off.
I just keep telling myself that if he's still in his normal hospital room and not back in the ICU, then obviously its not that horrible. That's my mantra and I'm sticking to it!
I need sleep.....
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